One Last About Me Questionnaire (September 2009 Edition)

1. What is your middle name?

Robert, and a little bit of added trivia, the number of letters in my first, middle and last names increases by two letters. I hope someday to be known as Dr. Sean Robert DeArmond Government Bullyragging Radiotherapist Miscomprehension Superadministrator for this very reason.

2. How big is your bed?

We talked about this; you have to sleep on the couch while you're here.

3. What are you listening to right now?

Right now as in when I was reading the question? I was listening to the air duct. But now that I'm typing I'm listening to the keys clack like Lord of the Dance.

4. What are the last 4 digits in your cell phone number?

9690. And if you're nice to me I'll give you the area code so you'll only have a thousand possible numbers to try using to get a hold of me.

5. What was the last thing you ate?

Blueberry Pop-Tarts with frosting. Why they even make Pop-Tarts without frosting is a quirk that has kept me from becoming self-actualized.

6. Last person you hugged?

My loving wife.

7. How is the weather right now?

Perfect. It's one of those days where you can go outside in anything and be comfortable. So why am I in the library filling out this questionnaire?

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

I honestly don't remember. So many of my phone recipients tend to be recording devices.

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

They've scored more points in Scattergories than the behemoths I got stuck playing with.

10. Favorite type of Food?

Why is 'food' capitalized? Let's see, favorite type. So we're not into specifics. I'll say the type that tastes good which doesn't require a whole lot of preparation or cleaning.

11. Do you want children?

To go away? Yes.

12. Hair color?

An anagram for 'oral choir'.

13. Do you wear contacts?

Not yet, but we'll see how these online questionnaires affect my long term vision.

14. Favorite holiday?
Halloween. People are oddly nicer to each other dressed as vampires than carolers.

15. Favorite Season?

Another capital letter in the wrong place. Did these questions start out in German? Autumn.

16. Have you ever cried over a love lost?

Yes, many times.

17. Last Movie you watched?
The last Movie I watched wasn't so much a Movie but a documentary about Movies.

18. What books are you reading?

I usually don't read books. I prefer to see Movies, although this Season there aren't many Movies I'm interested in and the Movie Food is overpriced.

19. Piercings?

None, and unless I get stabbed by a rapier it's going to stay that way.

20. Favorite Movie?

I'd hoped my sarcasm would have taken care of this capitalization issue. I go back and forth among Contact, Dead Again, Xanadu, and Loony Tunes: Back in Action.

21. Favorite college football team?

I still maintain that football is an epidemic to which I luckily have an immunity.

22. What were you doing before filling this out?

Man, I was doing the most awesome things ever! But I stopped to fill this out because I knew how important it was to you.

25. Favorite animal?

Did two questions just get censored? The snuffleupagus.

26. Favorite drink?

Dr. Drink, performed by pretty much any player except Publix.

27. Favorite flower?

Probably the carnation. But I really just like to walk around in the cooler.

28. Have you ever loved someone?
I kind of thought question 16 covered this, but absolutely. I have the most wonderful wife in the world. And implicitly, you don't. So nyah nyah.

29. Who would you like to see right now?

The guy at the computer opposite me. It would mean I have x-ray vision and that would give me a sense of superiority.

30. What color are your bedroom walls?

I don't actually have a bedroom so I'm going to lie and say that each one is a different color. I'm a devotee of the Rubik's Cube.

31. Have you ever fired a gun?

No chance for that. I've never had a gun work for me.

32. Do you like to travel by plane?

I guess. I'm really waiting for the crunk-car to hit the market.

33. Right-handed or Left-handed?

Right-handed, which places me in the ruling class. How about bringing me some coffee.

34. If you could go to any place right now where would you go?

I'd like to go to the video game museum that I believe is in one of the states that begins with an I.

35. Are you missing someone?

Nope. There's just me and I'm here, so everyone's accounted for.

36. Do you have a tattoo?

No, and if I did I wouldn't give it to you.

37. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
I usually stay up too late on Friday nights watching cartoons to get up in time.

38. Are you hiding something from someone right now?

I'm hiding my irritation with the library patron behind me from the whole world. Except for you, that is.

39. Are you 18?
Not anymore. In fact last week I started my third eighteen year cycle. Now get off my lawn you hooligan.

40. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone?

I give up. What is the wallpaper on my cell phone?

41. Are you afraid of the dark?

Yes. It's jarring every time I blink.

 

42. Favorite hangout:

Since I no longer have access to Disney Quest, I suppose I hang out online the most. It's the only place in town you can find a good pointless questionnaire.

43. 3 things you can't live without?

Well gravity keeps my feet on the ground, welcomed or not. Time keeps me moving forward, forcibly I might add. The third thing is a deep dark secret that I'll only share on a national talk show.

44. Favorite songs?

Thank you, pandora.com has been sticking me with a bunch of eighties covers that grate on my nerves. I'll take Stars by Roxette, The Monster is Loose by Meat Loaf, I Choose by The Offspring, and the top five Weird Al polka medleys.

45. What are you afraid of?

That you're going to charge my account for the aforementioned songs.

46. Are you a giver or a taker?
I hate taking without giving back, which is my fundamental issue with Santa Claus.

47. What are your nicknames?
I have two, but they're both spelled and pronounced the same as my actual name to make them easier to keep track of.

48. What is your dad's middle name?
Douglas, which makes his initials the reverse of Dance Dance Revolution.

49. What do you sleep in?

The arms of my loved one.

50. Stuck on a deserted island, and can only bring one thing?

Who, you or me? I'll bring a boat. You bring the pizza.

51. Favorite TV commercial?

There was a Duracell one from Germany involving that toy monkey with the cymbals
and a guy in a tuxedo that's left a lasting impression on my innocent brain.

52. First thing you'll save in a fire?
Money on my heating bill.

53. What is your favorite color?

Blue, which is why Inky was my favorite Pac-man ghost monster.

54. What are the things you always bring with you?

Riches in my heart and hope in my wallet.

55. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
On weekdays a fraggle. On weekends a dinosaur.

56. What do you usually do when the alarm turns on?
Flip it off.

57. What color is your bed sheet?
I'm repainting it indigo.

58. Who do you want to meet?
I'd like to meet any of the Pythons, particularly Eric Idle since he's my favorite and he lives in California.

59. What do you think about before you go to bed?
How long is this indigo paint going to take to dry?