Family Game Night: a parody of Follow Me by Uncle Cracker

It's been quite a while since I've tried my hand at parody writing, and this one's been kicking around in my head for over a decade now. Finally got around to penning it. I expect to hear this at karaoke clubs now.


You're doling out the money. The bank's where you are.
You can't find the iron. You take the car.
But you know there's not a method or strategy
To skim through the game as efficient as me.

Now every

Property has been distributed twice.
I feel the corners rubbing off the dice.

But you don't

Want to leave without a victory
In this endless game of Monopoly.

I'm not worried 'bout the tax I owe
'Cause as long as no one cares then nobody will know.
You've built a building, and you've got a row,
But you don't own a train and I just stopped at Go.

Just saying

Rolled a three. I'm at Community Chest.
Looks like I've won a prize in some contest.

Ten dollars.

Good for me. That buys a cup of tea
In this high-stakes game of Monopoly

(guitar break)

Won't sell you Baltic. I can't give you St. James.
You'd get more mercy from on-line games.
I'm not the reason that we tipped the scale.
It's triple double. Go directly to jail.

(Probably it's worth a shot at Chance).
I hope that Boardwalk sees your piece advance,

But it's a

Luxury to have the parking free
In this pointless test of monotony.

I don't know what the time is. I don't know the day,
But we're still invested. I guess we'll play
Even though we're out of houses, and currency,
And I can't remember if the thimble is me.

Keep playing.

Tennessee is on the auctioner's block.
Here's fifty bucks because you sold your stock,

But now you

Pay a fee on the utility
In this mindless game of...what are we playing again?

Don't tell me.

Comedy is tragedy before time.
We'll have a laugh about our game of crime,

Now let me

Have the deed- Electric Company,
In our thousandth round of Monopoly

And don't you

Call on me to put an end to this plight.
I'll be the one to keep you up all night

Unless you

Want to leave by filing bankruptcy
In this family game of Monopoly.