The Heavenly Court (script excerpt)

Going through some of my old Google documents, and I came across this little limestone. I'd started writing a comedy script called Power Struggle. The characters were God, Time, Karma, Nature, etc. This would have been the opening scene.

Interior – Heaven. A courtroom on a cloud.

Several unimportant heavenly characters filter in to witness the first trial held in the afterlife. TIME enters and takes her place at the defense attorney’s bench. HOPE meanders in awkwardly as the bailiff.

HOPE (approaching Time)

Empress?

TIME

(politely) Please don’t call me that. Ever.

HOPE

Sorry. Um…majesty? (TIME doesn’t react) My lady? (she shakes her head) Mistress?

TIME

You must be Hope.

HOPE

Does it show?

TIME

We’ve met before. A long time ago.

HOPE

I have a bad memory.

TIME

Well, that’s why you’re hope.  Call me Dora.

HOPE

Is that your name?

TIME

As far as you know. Yes.

HOPE ponders this as KARMA marches to his desk as the prosecution.

HOPE

But you are the Empress of Time?

TIME

You’re stuck on the word ‘empress’. No, I’m not. I’m the incarnation of time itself. Just like you’re hope and tippy over there is Karma.

HOPE

Yes, but isn’t it more impressive to introduce yourself as Time than by a name?

TIME

Sweetie, nobody up here is capable of being impressed. And in my vast experience, time is treated as the enemy.

HOPE

So you think you might be less disliked with a name?

TIME

One can hope.

HOPE

So what do I do for this thing?

TIME

You’re the bailiff.

HOPE

I know. It’s not like anybody’s going to get out of line.

TIME

Just look pretty and be yourself.

HOPE

But I don’t know what my purpose is.

TIME (to herself)

Nor do I.

HOPE

Do you know what time it is? (TIME gives him a defiant stare) Sorry.

GOD enters dressed in a mock judges robe.

GOD

All rise. The honorable me presiding.

HOPE (quietly to GOD)

Sorry.

GOD

I forgive you. Everybody sit down who wants to. And hey! Let’s give a big round of applause to our resident purgatory ambassador for setting up the first court system in paradise. Thank you Karma for the contamination. Thoughtful.

KARMA

You can berate me all you want…

GOD

May I? Cheerfully accepted.

KARMA

But the fact remains that this court system is legitimate.

GOD

Only in as much as it succeeds.

KARMA

And as long as it does, it deserves to be taken seriously.

GOD

You mean you deserve to be taken seriously. Well let’s see what’s so important to you. (GOD looks at HOPE)

HOPE

Me?

TIME (covering for HOPE)

We have two cases.

HOPE

There’s two cases pending your almightiness.

GOD

Two whole cases. Any chance we can do them at the same time?

HOPE

Are you being sarcastic?

GOD

Usually.

TIME

There’s a class action suit against heaven from the Mormons.

GOD

And they used to love us.

KARMA

Too much.

TIME

It’s actually not so much of a suit as it is a complaint.

GOD

Well what could be more pleasing to the Alpha and Omega than a customer service issue?

TIME

It’s not even a formal complaint. They’re just whining a lot.

KARMA (to TIME, obviously)

Would you just give him the damn folder!

GOD

I know what this is about and the answer is the same now as it always has been. They have to wait in line like everyone else.

KARMA

My clients feel their faith is being insulted.

TIME

Are your clients aware that as soon as they get through the gate, faith is no longer a possibility?

KARMA

But they’re not through the gate.

GOD

So in formulaic terms this case is founded on a premise with an intention to eliminate the premise?

TIME

Your honor, may I?

GOD

We have all the time in the cosmos.

TIME

Faith is being used as a legal rubric, but faith is an ambiguity. If you introduce an ambiguity into any equation, that equation dissolves.

GOD

So we rule the case inadmissible on account of ambiguity.

KARMA

I suppose if you believe the ambiguity is dismissible.

TIME

Oh cute Karma. You’ve managed to put faith on trial.

KARMA

I didn’t plan that out if that’s your insinuation.

TIME

I knew we shouldn’t have agreed to this.

GOD

Calm down Dora. We’re smart entities. Counsel approach the bench.

KARMA (coming forward)

Afraid to have this conversation publicly?

TIME (joining him)

He’s keeping you from looking like a dumbass.

GOD

Guys. Deep breath. Think of puppies. (to KARMA) Now, how do you want this to turn out?

KARMA

I’m not really concerned.

GOD

Then how about we give up on this one.

KARMA

And why would that help you exactly?

GOD

What do you mean?

KARMA

Oh, I thought you knew everything. I mean what do you stand to lose by addressing this case?

TIME

Because faith is a concept. Its power lies in the beholder’s perception.

KARMA

So it’s an illusion.

TIME

It’s a concept. Physicality is an illusion. If you’re asking Heaven’s court to make a concrete statement about an abstraction the abstraction becomes powerless.

GOD

So introducing a constant into an ambiguity turns that ambiguity into an equation?

TIME

I’m trying to help.

GOD

I know. And you have. (to court) Let all complaints be handled by the main gate. (bangs gavel)

KARMA

So you’re dismissing the case?

GOD

No, I’m ruling that anyone who reaches the front of the line has the option of standing outside of paradise and complaining until second Armageddon if that’s truly what they feel needed.

KARMA

Wonderful. So now there's a little matter of a counter suit.

TIME

A counter suit from whom?

KARMA

From the court.

GOD

This court?

KARMA

No. The four square court. Counter suing for time wasted.

TIME

Objection.

GOD

Sustained.

KARMA

On what grounds?

GOD

To make you mad.

KARMA

Are there legal grounds for sustaining the objection?

TIME

Aside from you suing your own client?

KARMA

Is Heaven really going to limit itself by semantics?

GOD

All right, I’ll humor you. What is it you feel will shut you up?

KARMA

I think they should go to the back of the line.

TIME

For complaining?

KARMA

In paradise.

GOD

So that’s what this whole court system is about. You. Fair enough. This case is being held over until the defense is available to testify on their behalf.

HOPE

Won’t they already be through the line then?

GOD

I suppose so. (bangs gavel)

TIME (to KARMA)

Dumbass.

GOD

Well, that was Psalm worthy. Moving on to item two.

TIME

It’s another class action suit. People versus the Holy Ghost.

GOD

Well they wouldn't be people unless they were versus something.

KARMA

People feel that the Holy Ghost’s freedom to observe anyone at any moment is an invasion of privacy.

GOD

Isn't spot checking the Ghost's job?

KARMA

The people demand that the Ghost’s activities be limited to churches and temples.

GOD

Sure because nobody does anything wrong there. How about we go with the same verdict. Held over until the accused gets here.

TIME

My client is here your honor.

GOD

I don’t see your client.

TIME

That’s because my client is invisible. You know that.

GOD

Yes, all you had to do was keep your mouth shut and we could be out of here.

TIME

Sorry.

GOD

Fine. Holy Ghost, you’ve been charged with…existing. How do you plead?

TIME (after a moment)

My client pleads no contest.

GOD

So you’re the only one who can hear your client.

TIME

Actually, I was just guessing.

GOD

Okay, we’ve got a plea of no contest. No contest, no debate. No debate, no examination. No results. No evidence. No bargain. No show. Novena. No deposit. No return. Case dismissed on grounds of inanity.

KARMA

Hang on. The case is People, all inclusively, versus Heaven's imaginary friend. If you’re not listening to this what are you listening to?

GOD

Listening or responding? Have it your way. Make it an eighteen dollar fine.

TIME

My client probably wants to know what for.

GOD

Failure to appear in court. Happy? (bangs gavel) Who's up for sloping?

The entire courtroom goes dark.

GOD

What is this, the end of the world again?

Review of Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert

I have a particular affection for the Andrew Lloyd Webber/Tim Rice rock opera Jesus Christ Superstar. My parents were hippies, and the original recording was one of the albums I grew up on. I could recite most of the words before I understood their definitions (much less their meaning). The soundtrack was my introduction to the crucifixion narrative, and it certainly had an impact in the way I thought about my religion. In other words, Superstar is a part of me, and I'm quite possessive of it.

The original soundtrack is always going to be the definitive version for me, to which I compare all other performances; Superstar's 'gospel' if you will. So I find the challenge any subsequent production has to overcome is to "get it right"; a concept on which I'm characteristically inflexible.

So how did the 2018 Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert TV film do? Well, I'm glad I asked.


The Overture

Right off the bat I need to rave about the musicians. The music in Superstar is as much a character in the story as Jesus and Mary are. What the character is, I can't really nail down. Maybe two thousand years of emotions that have poured through those biblical passages? But every musician that they hired for this production was spot on, with perfect timing of every accented downbeat and atypical time signature. In many cases it felt like an identical replication of the soundtrack. It's the kind of score that almost incites the orchestra to fall flat, and nobody every did. I particularly loved the fact that the performers made appearances on the stage throughout the grander numbers.

As for the set, the modernization of the Christ narrative is always a hit and miss idea (the tanks in the film version were probably just too silly). Here it blends into the background pretty easily. I don't know how first time viewers felt about the anachronisms, but as I'm used to them I felt this show kept them within reason. As for the limited staging space, it leads to a few awkward moments (Judas can only storm out of the Last Supper by a few feet) but overall it's a fair trade for the conciseness of it all. It is a creatively designed set.

And finally, the staging was nothing shy of brilliant. There is a whole lot going on in the crowd scenes, but between the carefully crafted choreography and the well placed camera work, you never lose sight of the action. In many ways it makes for a better film version of the opera than the 1973 film did; not all, but many.

Frightened by the crowd

One of the really fun elements to this production is the use of the audience. There are a couple of mosh pits right by the stage that take full advantage of the passionate ticket holders who don't mind standing for two and a half hours. John Legend (who may very well have been cast just to give us the review title "Jesus, the Man, the Myth, the Legend", which I'm alas not going to use) is a high profile performer in the title role. I know of him. I'm not familiar with his work, but clearly the audience at the show is. When he makes his entrance and comes over to high five his fans, it adds to the whole atmosphere of 'Celebrity Jesus' interacting with his own crowds (at least in the Hosanna phase of the story).

On the plus side, you can feel that everyone on and off the stage is singing the crowd numbers, adding a raw energy that most shows never experience. On the minus, there are certain songs that begin and end on somber moments that the exuberant audience kind of smothers. I imagine if they were able to do a second take, one of the directors would have suggested the audience maybe, you know, not...applaud so much for "Jesus must die"?

Christ, you deserve it

John Legend is an outstanding Jesus. He's not perfect, but he more than makes up for his own shortcomings. All the role ultimately requires is the voice, and he's got it. It's not to say that any of the Jesuses throughout the musical's history have ever phoned in their performance, but Legend could have just sung the songs and gotten glowing reviews. Fortunately he does us one better by genuinely acting the role. You never feel like you're watching John Legend as Jesus, you're able to just get lost in the story because Legend is able to slip so comfortably into his role.

The (slightly) disappointing element is that he never vocally 'goes for it'. Once you've heard Ian Gillan or Ted Neeley shriek out "Gethsemane" then you know the vocal equivalent of sweating blood. Legend plays it safe on this front. Now in his defense, he probably needs to preserve his voice for the sake of his career. And if you go full wail and crack, it's all anyone is going to remember about your performance. So it's a minor quibble. As I said before, I' a bit of a snob.

On women of her kind

My wife is a fan of Sara Bareilles, having met her previously (Bareilles is really sweet in person). In this production, I thought she was good. Not smashing, just good. Unlike Legend, I just kept seeing Bareilles. I know there's not a whole lot one can do with the role, but it came across more as 'Sara Bareilles performing the Mary Magdalene songs' instead of 'Sara Bareilles as Mary Magdalene'. Her voice is beautiful, but the Yvonne Elliman passion isn't there. So out of all the cast, she was just good.

And I know who everybody's going to blame

Brandon Victor Dixon as Judas. You can tell he's from Broadway by the way he makes use of the stage. His facial expressions are animated. Your eyes naturally seek him out whether or not he's the one in the spotlight, just to see how he's reacting.

I'll admit, I had misgivings about him at the start of the show. He sings "Heaven on Their Minds" in a way that's...pretty. I didn't like it when I heard it, and I don't know how differently I'll feel on a second viewing. But mainly I was concerned that Dixon wouldn't be able to invoke Murray Head's meltdown going into Judas's suicide. I was wrong.

It was probably a combination actor's choice and direction that Judas starts with fair stability before falling apart in the fourth quarter. And Dixon's show stopping title song demonstrates exactly what he's capable of. It's entirely possible he intentionally toned down the Broadway so as to not outshine Legend and Bareilles, but suffice to say, he's stolen the show by curtain call.

But to keep you vultures happy

So let's talk show. What did I like/what didn't I like? I liked the glitter. It was a great way to metaphorize money and greed. I didn't the use of the chair when Jesus chased everyone out of the temple. I realize the limitations of a stage production, but it just seemed awkward. I loved the costumes on the lepers. That scene needs to be as horrifying as possible and they did a great job. I didn't care for the inclusion of the last verse in "Hosanna". The whole point of the extension is for that moment when the chorus sings "Hey J.C. J.C. won't you DIE for me" and we get a look at his reaction to the request. Here they didn't do anything with it. At first I thought Ben Daniels's Pontius Pilate was a tad too unsympathetic, but he came unhinged beautifully. I have never liked the song "Could We Start Again, Please?". It brings nothing to the show, it interrupts the tension, and it's boring.

And finally, I loved the way they handled the 39 lashes. By turning it into a crowd dance it eliminated the visual monotony that the sequence easily falls into. And Legend's acting really sells it. Speaking as someone who's played Jesus before (in Baton Rouge's teen theater Godspell) it's not fun to writhe in agony for any extended period of time. So, cap's off to you.

And now I understand you're God. Wow.

You knew I wasn't going to forget. Alice Cooper is a treasure. He doesn't have to do a damn thing to be awesome, and he knows it. The man has impeccable comedic timing, and his understated performance as King Herod (reprised from the 1996 revival) is a gem of pure giddiness. I always love it when Cooper the artist has a chance to perform independently of his stage persona. He is a pure unapologetic ham, and I thank God we didn't lose him in his rough years.

With a kiss

In the end, the trick to a good performance of Superstar lies in the show's ability to answer the question; why am I watching this instead of just popping in the soundtrack? Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert sprinkles its answer throughout its production. We all know the story and the songs, and yet it still manages to find a few surprise acting beats that allows for its own identity.

The Last Supper, usually presented as a somber occasion from its beginning, is set up as if it's going to be a genuinely festive gathering; you know, as if the disciples didn't know what was going to happen. The moment following Judas's kiss typically goes right into the arrival of the Romans, but here Jesus expresses a powerful gesture of forgiveness by embracing his right hand man. And Jesus's slap in the face realization of "What I started- What YOU started" is given a real gravitas.

But every performance has to decide what to do with the final image of Jesus on the cross. Webber and Rice intended it to simply end on that huge question mark, what was this for? The film version honors this wish by us never seeing any sign of the resurrection. Ted Neeley's very extensive farewell tour had him ascending via harness up to the catwalks, ending on a definitive period. Live in Concert finds a solid compromise. Jesus and the cross are lifted up and pulled away from the audience, fading into the light behind the set. Is it an ascension? Is it symbolic of a historical event becoming metaphor? We're not told, and the musical is all the better for it.

Final thoughts: this version is a worthy successor to it's source material. It will never replace the soundtrack for me, but it proves itself on its own merits. And if you feel the need to see the opera as well as hear it, this is the one to watch.