Lately I've been feeling like a rechargeable battery that's been recharged a few too many times, topping off at about twenty percent. I'm not really sure why. It just seems like the past three months have been a real struggle to do anything creatively (It's been about a month since my last blog post, and that was a posting of an old file).
It's a particular point of frustration for me, because ever since childhood I've had the idea stuck in my head that 'creative' is an adjective with which I can identify. But the past three months? My brain has been stuck in the mud. I've doubled up on my Prozac recently, and it's possible that in managing my depression I might be taking a hit in theta waves, which is a fairly uncomfortable prospect. I find myself staring at the half-completed Disney fan fiction, the untouched Carousel draft, and the choose-your-own-adventure I'm creating for our Sci-fi festival in July, and I'm just...struggling.
I hate feeling like this. And unfortunately, that's where the update leaves off. I don't know what kind of readership I have out there, but if any of you have ideas on how to legally jump start your imagination, I'm all ears.
But as I'm determined to keep my blog going in the meantime, here's something that I'm quite sure nobody is going to care about. At the library where I work, I'm in charge of creating the shelf reading list as well as encouraging my co-workers to do their sections. What is shelf reading, you tried to deny wondering? It's when librarians comb through their shelves to find books that are out of place. It's exactly as exciting as it sounds.
So a while back, instead of sending out a routine e-mail that says "Hey guys, the damn shelf reading list is up," I thought it might be significantly more fun to deliver the bad news through song lyrics. And so, here's a collection of eight suspiciously similar ways with which I've allegedly entertained the people in my department. I'll put the list of melodies at the bottom, just in case they aren't obvious( I'm proud of the fact that they've gotten progressively more elaborate).
10/16
When the bookstops squeak and the endcaps break
Spines crammed in like a salmon cake
Westerns horizontal-wise
Hidden back behind the 'I's
Prim fiction staff come out to organize
12/16
Fiction shelves! Busy elves!
State of disarray!
Covers bound, and the missing found,
When the reading's gone astray!
Fix our shelves! By ourselves!
Order from decay!
Patrons know there's a spotless row
When they cross the entranceway!
03/17
My wild wryish rows
Defeated highs and lows
You may search through the stacks
But none can relax
When the mystery shelves decompose
This guy wants his prose
Where is it? No one knows
For the new Ann B. Ross
Is marked as a loss
Or it's mixed in with Jodi Picoults
07/17
My section's misery
Seeped in catastrophe
Of thee I read
Cutters misclassified
Blu-rays that try to hide
Large print is twice as wide
We'll intercede
10/17
Dun dada DUN *snap snap*
Dun dada DUN *snap snap*
Dun dada DUN Dun dada DUN Dun dada DUN *snap snap*
The shelves are looking sloppy
The paperbacks are floppy
We've lost another copy
It's mad catastrophe
The paging list's cosmetic
Requires an aesthetic
Arranged in alphabetic
Not mad catastrophe
Dun dada DUN *snap snap* (sleek)
Dun dada DUN *snap snap* (chic)
Dun dada DUN Dun dada DUN Dun dada DUN *snap snap* (mystique)
So grab some vim to wrangle
Or book stops you can jangle
We're gonna disentangle
This mad ca-ta-stro-phe!
02/18
Fair receiver
Gritting like a pressure gauge
Ninety-seven books to page
And there's stacks on the counter
And a New YA in the romance display
From days of mixed returns
Now you wander
Dreading what you have to do
Several spines are labeled blue
But they're shelved in the Westerns
'Cause the patrons try to assist and comply
But give us mixed returns
Sing it with me now
Sha la la la la la
Via trials
We're gonna comb the aisles
Until we've nixed concerns (whoa-oo-oh)
Sha la la la la la
Yesterday
A missing Playaway
Was found betwixt returns
Mixed returns
We want our fixed returns
03/18
O sad employ
The spines, the spines are quarreling
From bin to bin
And down each fiction aisle
The stacks are mauled
And all the patrons snarling
It's you, it's you
Must hope to reconcile
But not alone
You only have a section
And several weeks
To pace out your chagrin
And when it's clear
You'll marvel our collection
And you can rest at ease
Until it's trashed again
05/18
Summer reading grabbed me a stash.
Summer reading here in a flash.
I read a book. Left me beguiled.
I took a row, all Lincoln Child.
Summer reads, everyone needs
Leading up to their summer flights.
Uh well-a well-a well-a huh
It's the chore that we bore
Keeping sections in line
Can't ignore Lorrie Moore
Has a mislabeled spine
Need the printer, forgotten my PIN.
Castle Panic is stuffed in a bin.
PS4s, they never stand.
The Rooster Bar was buried in sand.
Summer blitz cleaned out our kits
It's a world full of summer slights.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Now we store in a drawer
'cause the audios sag
Or they pour on the floor.
Have you found Fannie Flagg?
Every rental checks in en masse.
Monumental piles to surpass.
Fiction staff, our saving grace,
Sets them all back in their place.
Summer guests, gained their requests
Never know our summer plights.
Grim Grinning Ghosts
Jingle Bells
My Wild Irish Rose
My Country 'Tis of Thee
The Addams Family Theme Song
Kiss the Girl (The Little Mermaid)
O Danny Boy
Summer Nights (Grease)
