Chasing the Rabbit: Chapter Sixteen -Through the Looking Glass

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Alice and Meg had spent the better part of an hour trying the many doors throughout the mansions hallways. Several of them proved to be mere decorations that led nowhere or wouldn't even open. A few revealed storage closets with nothing to store. Once in a while they would find a dining area or study containing furniture that seemed to be bolted to the floor and very little they could interact with. Alice had wondered aloud if the place had meant to be a museum, to which Meg had no response.

They hadn't found anything to eat, and after a while they'd forgotten it was the reason they'd gone exploring. A confusion about the mansion's layout had become the more pressing concern, as they found themselves hopelessly lost in the maze of corridors.

Meg reached for the next handle and felt the door give a little. "That one is a façade," Alice told her but Meg ignored the suggestions, throwing all of her weight into it. The portal flung open; a small cloud of dust causing Meg to cough.

"Goodness, Miss Meg! Are you all right?"

"I've breathed worse," said Meg. "Although not by much, considering what dust is."

"My apologies. I was so sure I tried that door already."

"I think we're both pretty turned around." The room had a double bed with drapes, a small dresser with a missing mirror, and a stack of large blocks with letters carved and painted on them. An open window revealed the night sky. "Bedroom," observed Meg.

"Nursery by the looks of it," said Alice. "Who would care for children in a place like this?"

"Doll, there are people who don't care for children in any place."

Meg lingered in the hallway, doing her best to beat the dust out of her hair while Alice scurried inside the room. A quick press on the cushions confirmed that the bed was real. The blocks were permanently fixed in place but the dresser drawers properly slid in and out. This was the only room they'd been in for some time that seemed to serve a function other than appearance.

Alice produced an untouched hairbrush from a top drawer. "Will this help, Miss Meg?"

"Sure, thanks." Meg meandered over to Alice's location, glancing around the nursery, her mind replaying a series of unpleasant things that could conceivably drop down on them from the ceiling. She reached for the brush, but Alice wasn't ready to relinquish it.

"Forgive my impertinence," she explained, "but may I?"

"You want to brush my hair?"

"If it's not a bother. Your hair is so lovely."

Meg shrugged and sat down at the dresser, removing the ribbon that held it in place. "Happy to pawn off the ordeal."

"Thank you. I often brush my sister's hair, and I'm very fond of it."

"The two of you pretty close?"

"Quite." Alice smiled, running the bristles through several feet of auburn. "How long did it take you to grow?"

Meg sighed. "A lifetime or two. Lots and lots of mornings of waking up looking like a gorgon." Alice giggled at the comment, and Meg couldn't help but feel pleased. "You just have the one sister?"

"Oh Heavens no. I have nine brothers and sisters altogether." Alice brushed a few more strokes before becoming distracted by her thoughts. "How odd that I can't remember any of their names."

"It's okay Lilies, I think we're both a few petals shy of a bouquet. I don't even remember if I have siblings. Or children for that matter."

"I certainly hope not. I imagine any child of yours would miss you terribly."

"Wow," said Meg. "I wasn't expecting you to say anything that sweet."

For a few minutes neither of them spoke, with only the sounds of Alice's brushstrokes and the night sky through the open window filling the room.

"You know, I don't think there's anything for us here in the mansion," said Meg. "We should probably leave in the morning. Through this window so we don't get lost in the halls again."

"Agreed." Alice set the brush down on the dresser. "Would you like me to retie the ribbon for you?"

"What I really want is a mirror."

Alice fished around in the drawers. "I imagine the former owner of this dresser may have shared the sentiment." As her logic dictated, she found a well-crafted hand mirror tucked away in the bottommost drawer.

"Lucky guess," said Meg. She took the mirror and stared dumbfounded at her reflection. "You know, I barely recognize myself? I can't even remember the last time I let my hair down."

"It's a pity we're not dreaming, because that makes for such a wonderful metaphor."

Alice's smile was contagious and Meg couldn't help but admire the young girl's unending cleverness. But Meg's sense of delight almost immediately fell away to the harsh truth of what she'd been afraid to admit she believed.

"Alice, there's something we haven't talked about."

Meg's solemnity made Alice tremble a little inside, but she was determined to keep it to herself. "I'm listening."

"I think I know why we keep forgetting things the way we do." Meg searched for an easy way to break the news, but there wasn't one. "We might be dead."

Alice stood quietly. And thought.

And thought.

"That's a perfectly valid possibility," she said at last.

Meg blinked. "Really? That's your reaction? I thought you'd be a bit more broken up about it."

"Perhaps I will be. But right now I'm curious as to why you think so."

"Experience. I know death's superintendent. He's a nasty piece of work. And I've watched many people die. A lot of them try to covet what they know, and it always slips away from them and it's always awful. The worst ones are the ones who don't think they're dead because they'd rather suffer than be wrong."

"So if this is the case, how do we cooperate?"

"I honestly have no idea."

Alice nodded, and without another word put her arms around Meg's shoulders and gently squeezed her.

"Are you crying," asked Meg.

"No. I'm only saying thank you. For being such a good friend. Just in case I don't get another chance."

Meg hugged her back. "Then thank you as well."

They held onto each other for a moment. Then Alice took a step back and resumed her most cherished demeanor where she seemed to be quoting a lecture. "Whenever faced with a problem too big to solve, always break it down into smaller portions in order to invoke progress and alleviate frustration."

Meg smirked. "Did that saying come with lottery numbers on the back?"

"It came with good advice," said Alice, moving back around to the opposite side of Meg's reflection in the hand mirror. "Would you like your hair tied the way it was?"

Meg examined her reflection, weighing a few options before giving Alice an over the shoulder wink. "I don't know. Show me something I haven't seen before."

It took Meg a moment to realize that Alice's expression had changed to one of shock, the young girl involuntarily taking a step backwards. "What's wrong?" she asked, but Alice couldn't speak.

Meg turned her attention to the open window, assuming whatever had spooked Alice would be coming from the outside. In doing so she almost missed spotting the image that had appeared in the hand mirror; a full row of teeth from a dark figure that appeared to be lunging for her. On reflex she dropped the mirror on the dresser and bolted from the chair grabbing Alice and pulling her to the side, against the wall.

Meg surveyed everything from the window to the hall until she was convinced the vision had not been reflected from a threat in the room with them. "You okay Lilies?"

Alice hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath. "That gave me quite a fright."

Meg placed her hand over her own heart. "I think it gave me something else."

The mirror lay face down on the dresser, and Meg tentatively reached for the handle and turned it around to where she could see the glass. It was dark, but a few elements were discernible; rocks, sand, and a couple of spider-like plants that waved back and forth.

"Oh my," said Alice. "If I'm not mistaken, that appears to be the ocean floor. Do you think this mirror is magical?"

Meg flipped it around to the back to examine the workmanship. "It's definitely something."

"Perhaps it reacted to your words. Why don't we have it show us something else?"

"Yeah, hang on. Sometimes these things have limited uses." The carvings were elaborate, but they weren't telling her anything. "Okay, let me think. Show me..." She was about to ask to see Hades but changed her mind. One, she honestly didn't want to see him. Two, she was convinced by now that this wasn't his doing. And three, the huge shadow that engulfed the image of the ocean floor (accompanied by a single white eye) proved to be distracting up until the point that the image dissolved back to Meg's irritated expression. "No, no, no! You stupid piece of-"

"It's all right, Miss Meg. The looking glass may only be able to respond to what you say out loud, and your last words were 'show me'. It's reasonable to conclude it thought you wanted to see yourself again."

"Good thinking," Meg sighed. "Show us that same place again."

As quickly as it had gone, the image was back; momentarily blocked out by the massive tail of the sea creature. "Curious," said Alice. "May I try it?"

Meg happily relinquished the item. "All yours."

"Good evening looking glass. Would you be so kind as to show us the moment Miss Meg and I first met in the meadow?"

The image flickered to a silvery hue, pulsating as if it was trying to do something beyond its capabilities. For a few seconds nothing happened. And then the reflection of Alice in the nursery resumed.

"Maybe it doesn't respond as well to politeness," Meg offered.

"On the contrary. The looking glass seems inclined to appease any request it is given, but it may have limitations. I believe it can only show us things in the present, not memories."

"Can it show us the way out of here?"

"Let's see. Looking glass, can you show us the way out?"

The image twisted around to show them the window that was a few feet away from them.

"Cute," muttered Meg. "You can't tell me that thing isn't being facetious."

Alice's eyebrows perked up. "Did you know that the word 'facetious' is the shortest word to contain all five vowels in order?"

"Um...no, I did not know that but I do now- can I have the mirror back?"

Alice stifled a laugh as she gave up the magical device.

"How do we get out of this whole...place? This world?" Meg asked the mirror. Her reflection did nothing but scowl back at her. Meg rolled her eyes. "Show us the way out of this world." The image struggled with the demand but managed to only accomplish blinking silver again. "I kind of figured you wouldn't be that cooperative."

"Perhaps there's a means to ascertain the reason we're both in this predicament," Alice suggested.

Meg asked the mirror to show them why they were there, which was only met with a blank slate. Where they should go next turned up nothing as well. "Either it's drying up or it has an aversion to being helpful," Meg sneered. "Back to basics then. Show us who's in charge."

The mirror sputtered and went black before revealing a new location; a large room with a row of shelves and box-like objects emitting a kind of light source with which neither Meg nor Alice was familiar. And a shape shifted slowly in front of one of the boxes. The placement of the light made it impossible to make out features other than the outline, but the individual seemed lean of build with a pair of appendages protruding from his or her head.

"Is that Miss Maleficent?" asked Alice?

Meg examined the protrusions as best she could. "I don't think so. She had horns, or a headdress with horns. These look like they have some mobility."

"Like a rabbit?" Alice said proudly.

Meg grumbled. "Yes, possibly like a rabbit. I'll believe anything at this point." She handed the mirror back to Alice without waiting to be asked.

"You'll see," Alice promised. "Looking glass? Would you please show me the face of the rabbit?"

In much the same way the image had rotated when it showed them the open window earlier, the room in the mirror spun around to face the creature directly. But a split second before it could show any facial details, the rabbit ducked down, and dove out of the way when the surveillance tried to refocus. From there, the mirror began chasing the rabbit around the room, with the animal managing to stay just barely out of sight.

"Someone doesn't want to be spotted," said Meg.

"Which means he's also aware that we're looking."

Whatever entertainment they were to derive from the pursuit was cut short by a sharp bang so loud that Alice almost dropped the mirror. "What was that?"

"It came from above!" No confirmation was necessary as the ceiling was clearly lowering. "Someone REALLY doesn't want to be spotted."

Meg and Alice leaned out the window, but between the night sky and the mist surrounding the mansion, they couldn't see more than a few feet below them.

"Miss Meg, we'll be crushed if we stay here!"

"Agreed. Wish me happy landing." Meg slipped out the window and hanged as low as she could before disappearing into the mist. A second later there was the sound of impact somewhere between thud and splash. "Oh gods! It's like marsh!"

"Are you harmed?"

"No, it's just a one story drop," Meg called.

A one story drop didn't sound like much, but every place they'd been in the mansion had a very high ceiling, at first anyway. The one in the nursery was now pressing down on the top of the double bed splintering the posts under its weight. Alice shifted uncomfortably. She was notably shorter than Meg, and the possibility of hurting herself was greater. But the only other possibility was to sprint back to the hallway, and she wouldn't dare risk being alone in a place like this.

"I'm sending down the looking glass Miss Meg!" said Alice, as she dropped it out the window.

"Forget the looking- Ow! Okay, got it! Come on!"

Alice climbed out onto the ledge as the structure swallowed up the nursery behind her.. "I can do this," she tried to assure herself, with no reason to believe her own words.

"I see you Lilies! You're going to be fine."

"I'm frightened, Miss Meg."

"I don't blame you. I promise it's not as bad as it looks from there. Just think happy thoughts and step forward."

Alice swallowed hard. "It's only a story," she whispered.

And then she was falling.


Continue to Chapter Seventeen
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Why the Rock-afire Explosion is the Greatest Cover Band Ever

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you who Chuck E. Cheese is. But unless you were in the right age bracket (i.e. children of the eighties), or were parents of people in the right age bracket, you might not be familiar with a certain diamond of yesteryear in the rock music/pizza parlor industry.

I, as you may know, was a child of the eighties. And I happened to reside a mere six mile drive away from an inimitable social hub known as Showbiz Pizza Place. They served pizza, as you might have intuited. And unlike Godfather's Pizza across the street, which housed a jukebox and a single stand up cabinet of Galaxian, Showbiz had a full on arcade. It was in this hallowed entertainment center that my impressionable hands first manipulated the controls of Crazy Climber, Time Pilot, Pac-Man Plus, and a little known footnote in pop culture called Dragon's Lair.

Arcades of nineteen eighty-something (one maybe?) had yet to be consumed by Skee-Ball and children's birthday parties. They were an adult gathering that happened to have an access point for kids. Showbiz Pizza opened the idea up to multi-generational entertainment. It was advertised to and for kids but it was still very much for the parents as much as the younglings. It was the cool place to go.

So that by itself is pretty much the prototype for Dave & Buster's, but Showbiz had that special something to bring it all together. It had the Rock-afire Explosion.

Let's go back in time. You walk into the seating area where you're meant to gorge on grease and pepperoni, and your eyes are immediately drawn to the proscenium stage in front of you which is flanked by two smaller stages on both sides. The curtains are all down and a suspense is prevalent in the room. The families and dates who have already been in there for some time know better than to strike up conversations about Cartesian Dualism, because something is going to happen. They're waiting for it.

Then a spotlight shines on the smaller curtain to your right, and the melody of a single acoustic guitar strums through the controlled hush. The drape rises to reveal an animatronic brown bear (about the size of an actual bear) lost in his own revelry like a folk singer or youth pastor. "Howdy folks," he giggles, "I'm Billy Bob. That's three B's, two L's, an I, a Y and an O!"

Billy Bob was the alter-ego for Orlando-based engineer Aaron Fechter. Billy Bob Brockali and the rest of the cast, as well as Showbiz's success, were ultimately the result of his creative expression and drive. Joining Billy Bob on his stage was his sidekick (the) Looney Bird, making for a spiritual pre-cursor to Banjo and Kazooie (minus the antagonism). Mirroring them on the left stage was comedy duo Rolfe DeWolfe and Earl Schmerle. Fechter voiced all four of these characters with a versatility that rivaled Frank Oz.

The technical specs behind all of these characters is the stuff of legend. Latex faces covering a complicated series of moving pieces created a seemingly endless variety of expressions, tics, and eyebrow movements. It was the kind of mechanical engineering that made Disney's Country Bear Jamboree look more like a Six Flags knockoff.

But all of the behind the scenes precision was really just a stepping stone to true greatness, which was the characters themselves. And that's what I want to talk about. Here then is what's behind the center stage curtain.

The Band

Let's see. We have a laid back Sun. And always exuberant Moon. A birthday cake wielding spider named Antioch (my latent arachnophobia still hasn't made up its mind about him). A frog that doesn't do anything. And Choo-Choo, the bear cub in the stump perpetually doing his best Whac-A-Mole impression (which Aaron Fechter also invented in 1976). And those are just the background characters.

First up in the main cast is Fatz Geronimo, a silverback gorilla who took inspiration from Lawrence Welk to become a musician. I'll pause now while that sinks in....

Fatz was the front and center keyboardist, and had a booming bass voice courtesy of writer/performer Burt "Sal" Wilson. He was also the most intimidating presence among an otherwise laid back ensemble. Under other circumstances, keeping children from crawling up on the stage between numbers would have been an issue. But Fatz looked like he was capable, and willing, to go all Five Nights at Freddy's on anyone who disrespected the barrier between performers and audience. Kids loved him, but they didn't dare mess with him.

Moving counter-clockwise was Mitzi Mozzarella, the mouse cheerleader. Being the token female member of the band, and the only one who didn't play an instrument, she was naturally relegated to songs and dialogue that required a female voice (originally a shrill falsetto from Aaron Fechter himself). In 1982 she was thankfully recast with Shalisa James, who at the time was eleven years old. With that decision came Mitzi's character development, as she aged along with her voice actress. To date, James is part of the a cappella group Toxic Audio, and is known for her extensive mental lexicon of song lyrics.

Just behind Mitzi is surfer dude Beach Bear, no real name ever given (he strikes me as a Marvin). He started off with a wild cartoony voice (also supplied by Fechter) until guitarist Rick Bailey took over. Bailey's Beach Bear was the unofficial 'fun' of the group. Personalities would clash on stage (and it wouldn't surprise me, off as well), but Beach Bear was the master of defusing tensions before they got started. If Rock-afire ever wanted to do a Mystery Science Theater-styled riff on, I don't know, a Chuck E. Cheese performance, Beach Bear would be the natural choice for the Crow lines.

Finishing out the cast is Dook LaRue, an anthropomorphic dingo drummer. From what I understand, Burt Wilson wrote most of the scripts and original pieces for the band, partitioning Fatz into the proverbial head role of the band. Billy Bob, being a combination Aaron Fechter avatar and Showbiz mascot was the clear heart. But Dook was the no-pun-intended soul of Rock-afire. You know that moment in every Marx Brothers film when Harpo drops his funny shtick and loses himself in his music? That's what happened whenever Dook took lead in a song.

His performer Duke Chauppetta was there at the beginning, before Shalisa James and Rick Bailey, when everybody else sounded like cartoon characters. And it's not to say that the original approach didn't work, but then Dook would croon out "Heartaches". Suddenly you were taken somewhere you hadn't expected to go. He was no longer an animatronic drum dog, he was a real canine musician being vulnerable. I'm sure different people who love the band cite any number of elements as the thing that made it special. And while I had a love of Earl's sarcasm, and a nine-year-old-boy crush on Mitzi, for me it was the credibility Chauppetta brought to his performance.

The Music

I know the eighties were thirty years ago, and thus closer in chronological proximity to what we called "the oldies" than our modern era of processed music, but Rock-afire was an actual education for Generation X. The Beatles, The Beach Boys, The Rolling Stones, and Elvis; all names in rock history I'd heard of but had either never connected with their songs or been introduced to them. Rock-afire changed all that.

Take the Beatles. One of the first Rock-afire performances I saw was a Beatles Medley of "You Can't Do That", "All My Loving", and "I Saw Her Standing There", with the lead vocals going from Beach Bear to Billy Bob and then to Dook. In addition to the fact that these three songs flowed into each other so well, they captivated my innocent imagination by their ordering. Beach Bear was clearly being two-timed by the love interest in question, so it made sense that she was cheating on him with Billy Bob. Mitzi was the logical character in the role of the cheating lover, which meant it wasn't really Mitzi herself moving through the band but a fictional character this fictional character was playing for the purpose of the narrative. Billy Bob would be relocating some distance away where he won't realize Mitzi has moved on to Dook. Again, I was nine, and this was the impressively adult story with no happy ending my little brain concocted.

And that's the thing, they didn't hold back. I mean, understandably there was a healthy amount of self censorship which we call 'adaptation'. But take the Elvis classic Little Sister, which barely stays in the confines of innuendo. Dook and Beach Bear don't even bother hiding the nature of the lyrics. I certainly wasn't aware of the sexual nature of the song when I was nine. But I respect the fact that they respected me enough to know that I'd get it when I was ready to. And it may be a bit blasphemous to say, but their version was an improvement over Elvis's. The same can be said for The Beach Boys' Catch a Wave where every complicated chord change is emphasized. Or Billy Bob's delightfully inappropriate homage to Mick Jagger in the Satisfaction Medley; it sounds absurd on paper, but it's a thing of beauty.

I'm of the opinion that rock music hit a plateau in the eighties with the addition of electronica. Since then we've had various styles come and go, but I can't think of a previously unused element that has been introduced to music since the synthesizer (and at this point, if a new element is forthcoming I can't imagine what it might be). But courtesy of Fatz's magic keyboard, Rock-afire was essentially on the cutting edge of music; being an homage to the oldies with an egregious eighties sensibility and a timeless feel on its own all at the same time.

The multi-layered musical elements are best examined in their Christmas shows, which I've mentioned in a couple of previous blogs. Disco Christmas was their showstopper, with every character getting their own song. Most people wouldn't think to include "Jingle Bell Rock", "Blue Christmas", "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire", and "The Hallelujah Chorus" in the same medley, but it all fits together so seamlessly. 'Inspired' is the only word that accurately sums up the result. The Christmas shows also gave us Billy Bob's unexpectedly tear-jerking In December, Dook's powerful Why Can't Every Day (Be Christmas), and the cast ensemble of Twelve Days of Christmas. The first two, as best as I can tell, are original compositions that sit comfortably alongside the classic rock covers Rock-afire is known for. And Twelve Days is one extended exercise of spotlight stealing from glibber-than-he-looks Beach Bear.

That Certain Special Something

There's an X-factor that separates 'great' fictional characters from the rest of the spectrum. What that is, I don't know. And maybe nobody does. I just know how to recognize the result. It's in the Muppets, the Looney Tunes, Charlie Brown, Batman, Scooby-Doo, Star Wars, and so on. These are characters you feel like you know personally. Maybe we see something of ourselves in them because they're more human than we are, without the needless clutter we seem to pick up as we face the world daily. I would argue that Rock-afire is on that level.

Unfortunately, I don't think their 'greatness' has been fully realized...yet. The future of animatronics is probably not going to be the sole, or best, outlet for them. But nearly forty years later, these animals with instruments have stayed in my head, and in the heads of some very passionate collectors. The lucky few of us who got to see the band perform live were permanently affected by the experience. We knew these characters. We were sure that on our umpteenth visit they were starting to recognize us as well (I swear Dook looked right at me and winked). The Happy Birthday Medley was specifically for us, and the Beatles Happy Birthday was specifically for the adults. And I'm positive we all imagined some sophisticated scenarios that took place once those curtains closed.

Fatz probably had the most active life outside of Showbiz, appearing as a solo act in piano bars, and dating around. Billy Bob was so busy as Showbiz's mascot/figurehead that he wouldn't have had time for much else except laundry. Mitzi seems like the type who would keep her personal life very separate from her professional life, and I imagine she would value normalcy once she was in street clothes. Dook and Beach Bear were likely the closest offstage even if they didn't realize it. I could see them both spending really late nights working on material together, often just crashing in the dressing room, and still never really learning all that much about each other. Rolfe was probably the only one who actively kept an eye out for the next thing, acutely aware of how fleeting fame is.

And unfortunately he'd be right. Like so many stars burning brightly, Rock-afire faded. And it's a real pity, because there's so much life left in the old Looney Bird. One wishes that the Cartoon Network would make an offer to reunite the band and let them tour. And solve mysteries. There's always hope. More viably, there's always the internet. If it's true that nothing ever disappears from the internet then Rock-afire is officially immortal.

And with that, I want to leave you with Rock-afire at its peak, namely their cover of the ENTIRE Abbey Road medley. Every section of the extended track is perfectly assigned to the different characters, with Rick Bailey seamlessly inserting himself into the fray for what may have been the first time, Shalisa James showing off her A-game, and Duke Chauppetta demonstrating how much versatility he had as a singer. Even "Her Majesty" is accurately recreated with the mistimed chord edit. The whole performance is a labor of love, laced with the confidence that the Rock-afire Explosion had nothing to prove to anyone but themselves. And it was our privilege to watch them fly.