Thursday, June 29, 2017

The Dragon I Met


It's been a while since I've worked on a short story from start to finish, and I feel pretty good about the result. Interestingly enough, I wrote this specifically to NOT be read as part of our original breakout room for my library's 3rd annual Sci-fi/Fantasy Festival. We essentially needed a journal (with some entries) as a prop. We could have conceivably just dug up some random archives, but I guess I was feeling a little more ambitious than that and I wanted to create an actual narrative. I was aiming for a period piece-sounding voice in my narrator, although I fully admit my word choices were based on guesswork instead of research (I was going for flavor, not authenticity). I hope you enjoy it!


Entry One

The Traveler. The Romantics portray him as a seeker of fortune and glory. But they have never been the Traveler. The reality is weeks of blisters, pests, and unending gales of foul weather. Why should one ever become the Traveler? In a word: because. I should very much like to attest my insipid compulsion for travel to any reason other than ‘because’, but alas, no other reason has made itself known to me.

And so I lay on an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar inn, perplexed as to how the cost of such a pallet can validate the mere marginal increase in comfort to that of the wet grass outside.

The people of this village (its name has evaded my recollection, either due to drink or indifference) are a pleasant, if simple, lot. Their jovial folk songs about the many grim ways to die are rather distasteful and not to my liking, but I have to admire the passion with which they discuss the apparently rich and complex topic of gannets and their various nesting rituals.

One particular story that struck my fancy was that of a dragon that allegedly resides in the waters further north. A fairy tale, certainly, but one that captivated its audience (who undoubtedly have heard it many, many times). It seems there was a friend of a friend who encountered the beast amidst the conducive visibility of twilight coupled with the remnants of a few too many. Incontestable evidence; as far as the villagers were concerned. I’d never speak these words out loud at the University, but people truly have an affinity for their demons.


Entry Two

Never before had I anticipated spending an evening at a monastery. The Priest, who I happened upon, took pity (or amusement) at my bedraggled gait as I approached; in all likelihood, my appearance accurately reflected every cursed step I’d taken for the past several hours of hiking.

My overnight stay here has been courtesy of the implicit agreement that I will be assisting with repairs to the ceiling of one or more buildings in the complex. I’ve been searching for any reasonable rationale explaining why I might be ill-suited for such a task, but every thought I’ve had requires blatantly lying to the Priest. I suppose I must accept the burden.

I was fed, for which I’m grateful (and I should leave it at that). The evening conversation which followed was a test of my discipline. I find men of the Cloth a most intimidating sort. Perhaps I sense they have an expectation upon my words, to always return to the topic of Salvation. Or it may be the intensity with which they listen. In all my time at the University, I have never been able to secure the wandering eyes of any audience; but with the clergy, such focus comes readily as an unwanted gift. I found myself painting a portrait of my travels in a much more amiable light than even I expected was possible.

Probably out of defense, I mentioned the story the villagers told me about the underwater creature. To my surprise, the Priest knew precisely what I was talking about. Evidently the water beast makes an appearance in Christian texts as far back as the sixth Century. He told me of Saint Columba, an Irish Monk, who rescued a man swimming in the river from the creature (with the Power of God, of course).

To the educated, this is obviously nothing more than a tale. And when I asked the Priest if he believed the story, he quite proficiently evaded a direct answer. But I saw it in his eyes. The ember. Either he already believed, or some childish fantasy from within demanded he at least not dismiss such a fable.

I can understand why villagers might succumb to their own legends, but for a man of the Cloth to accept something so nonsensical? This intrigues me. Why do we answer the call of mystery encased in myth? Is this a failing of our species? Or is it what can be described as the taste of intellectual Ambrosia that attracts our sensibilities? I must consider this further.


Entry Three

My visit to the University of Aberdeen has been a source of rejuvenation. Founded well over three centuries ago, to what stories must these sacred halls be privy? This Titan of knowledge? This stone Goliath? Oh dear. I fear the fantastical creature to the northwest may be bringing out the Romantic inside me.

Ah, the beast. It pursues me wherever I go in this brave land. Over the past two days I have taken it upon myself to eavesdrop on the idle conversations of the schoolboys, and the beast has entered the exchange no fewer than six times; twice as the subject. Everywhere I travel, the people of all standings and professions assign a degree of respect and fear for the fairy tale of the river.

Perhaps there is some seedling deep within the human soul that falls in love with ancient mammoths. I did not understand this concept until I set foot in this University; my steps echoing through the massive stonework. I was compelled to personify the building itself, attributing a personality to it as that of a gentle giant.

I have thus decided. My journey must indeed take me to the northwest. I should expect to find nothing, and anticipate the detour will be most uneventful. But the prospect of returning home without seeing the birthplace of this fantasy will undoubtedly feel like a slight upon myself in the long term.


Entry Four

It appears this creature of daydreams has cast some manner of spell over everyone I encounter, for I have found no easier conversation to provoke with strangers than she.

Yes, she. I have partially surrendered my understanding of the beast to the various personifications that the people I have met have so passionately expressed. Surely some of them must know in the deepest wells of intellect that she is nothing more than a phantasm. And yet, they love her. And fear her. Perhaps there exists a shade of controlled madness where the two are one and the same.

But whatever this madness is, some call it frivolity, it is most contagious.

The rivers old
Hear tales paroled
Entrenched in vagary
Lest sailors shill
O’er sullen rill
Comprised of bel esprit

How doth she race
Neath stars embrace
Ensnared in apathy
So mercantile
She scouts her mile
Miraged eponymy

O fiend below
Nocturnal’s flow
Surpressed soliloquy
Though veiled in mist
Each gallant kissed
Revives thine majesty

No, dear creature, do not be so presumptuous as to accept this musing as a conversion to you; only an experiment. How do the romantics survive the laws of nature? And why do they exist at all? Does the poet seek the muse, or does the muse seek the poet?

Mere questions with no answers. I shall come for you Dragon.


Entry Five

How best to describe the lake? It is atrocious; there are no two ways about it. Staring as far into the grime as vision will allow (less depth than that of an arm’s span, were I so blindly courageous) I find myself equally confounded and enlightened. The latter in as much as the reinvention of the circumstances surrounding every friend of a friend’s witness to the creature. Should my mind build a serpent out of the various twigs and branches that float by at regular intervals, I expect I would insist they had eyes and a snout. Indeed, the very act of observing the momentum of a landscape painting (and not a very good one) would be more than enough to propel one into a welcomed madness.

It has been several hours, and I fear my impatient impulses have begun to long for the demon of the depths to poke its fantastical skull out of the mire and properly devour me where I sit, just so I may never feel the touch of miasmic dew on my skin again.

Of all the places to which I have traveled, this countryside is the least to my liking. Perhaps it is the result of my own hopeful folly, or perhaps this truly is a purgatory on Earth.

In either case, I’m convinced that the demon beast is the product of discomfort. I have known many attempted maestros and have studied even more. The most common trait shared among them is that of an unrest. What conclusion can be drawn other than a causality between displeasure and inspiration?

In fine, now that I consider this thought, I may have a newfound appreciation for those artisans who produce works of beauty. For if the material components of aesthetics are the mundane and the distasteful, then the poets and sculptors may very well be closer akin to alchemists, transmutating muck into wonder.

I fear I must rest now, and shall do so away from the surveillance of your domain. Fare thee well creature of the deep. Your secrets remain yours alone.


Entry Six

My heart is heavy. I happened upon one of the larger villages at a time when the marketplace was at its highest degree of bustle, when my attention was captured by a simple father and his young daughter. At first I thought her to be much too grown for her father to be carrying her through the crowded area, but I soon came to realize that her legs were no longer functional. Owing to an illness (I pieced together her narrative from the ensemble of conversations had with and about her) she would never walk again, and likely would not live into womanhood.

It was just next to the flower seller that the creature made its appearance. An acquaintance of the family greeted father and child with a previously unheard tale of a friend of a friend who nearly bumped into the beast’s massive tail while traveling beside the lake at night. The child’s face awakened with excitement, and she no doubt would have kicked her feet in giddiness were she able.

She turned to her father for confirmation on the story’s validity, to which he answered in the only way that he would allow himself; of course the story was true, every single word. She asked if some day they could travel to the river themselves and see the creature. Her father said in no uncertain terms that they could. And I am truly grateful that the tone of his endorsement was lost on her. She would never leave her village and her father knew it. But the promise itself was enough. She felt more joy from the prospect of the journey than the actual visit ever could have provided her.

I knew there and then if she had taken notice of me and asked me directly if I believed the creature was real, I would have told her it was. I would have recounted my detour to the waters earlier in the year, for the sole purpose of seeing the beast, and I would have told the girl the truth.

I had indeed seen the creature.

Not with my eyes, but with my heart. I’d seen the creature in her eyes, and in the tales of those who I’d met in my travels, and in the hopes of those who believed that their beloved gentle giant should grace their dreams with a glimpse that only they were meant to see.

I would never have clarified myself past the revelation that the creature exists, and I would never have felt as though I’d deceived her in any way. In the end, there are some things that matter more than fact. Fact exists in the world of perception. Ideas exist in the mind.

It is the mind that colors the journey of facts, processes them, and makes them bearable. In some rare cases it may be ideas that bring those without hope to life. Yes, the creature exists. It exists as a carefully constructed idea in and from the minds of many, and will continue to do so. I should surrender that the world of facts is all the better for it.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Kingdom Hearts: The Game That Never Will Be

E3 has come and gone, and with it some very important updates about the beloved Kingdom Hearts series. We've now received confirmation that the things that have already been confirmed are in fact still confirmed, so good news there. More importantly, the game is officially in development, which means the past twelve years of development are probably leading up to something.

Now the bad news. Game creator/perfectionist Tetsuya Nomura is expected to pull the other half of his development team off the project in favor of a Final Fantasy VII prequel; tentatively titled Aerith Gainsborough: Flower Seller, Two Weeks Before Retirement, which means the third entry in the main series is having to take on extra workers just to make sure its release date is pushed back far enough.

Well I've never been one to accept that I'm doing nothing with my time, so as a courtesy to the KH fan base I've decided to submit my synopsis for a potential spin-off specifically for MAC users who can access a Commodore 64 emulator through a patch based on Word 95. I'm calling it Kingdom Hearts: Esoteric Connections. Even I don't know what the title means.

All of the worlds in this game are going to be based on Disney properties that are dreadfully unlikely to ever make it into the actual series. Here they are in order of appearance.

1. The Adventurer's Club (Pleasure Island in Orlando, Florida 1989-2008)
2. The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)
3. Melody Time (1948)/Paul Bunyan (1958)
4. Darby O'Gill and the Little People (1959)
5. The Rescuers (1977)
6. Fun and Fancy Free (1947)
7. Make Mine Music (1945)
8. The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
9. The Black Cauldron (1985)
10. The Black Hole (1979)

Premise:

Some time between one of the Kingdom Hearts games and one of the other ones, Sora, Donald, and Goofy find themselves stranded in a jungle wilderness. As far as they know, the Gummi Ship is lost or destroyed or eaten, it's not important right now. The point is, they're being chased by this new type of enemy called the Impulses, and their experience levels have been set back to 1.

Having to run via cut scene takes them into the first (and serving as home base) world.

1. The Tavern of Tales

The tavern is practically empty. The only human character seen is the unnamed maid who spends Sora's first arrival sitting on the stage in the library talking to the haunted organ. In the main salon, Colonel Critchlow Suchbench sits dormant, and is only woken up after Sora defeats several waves of Impulses. Having come "off duty" the Colonel explains the situation, that nobody comes to the tavern anymore to swap stories because everyone seems to have lost their passion for adventures. Goofy immediately makes the connection that it's related to the Impulses they've been fighting. The tavern has been overshadowed by a cloud of 'Indifference' ever since Babylonia (the stone face on the wall) went to sleep. The Colonel suggests that if Sora travels into the world and acquires some stories to attract people back to the tavern, the cloud will lift. It's Kingdom Hearts logic.

2. The Village of Superstition

The warm-up world is based on Sleepy Hollow and involves a lot of going back and forth. The central problem is that everyone is afraid to come to Katrina van Tassel's Halloween party because of the Impulses running amuck. But Sora and company clear out the monsters multiple times, getting everybody there, inadvertently getting mixed up with the rivalry between Brom Bones and Ichabod Crane.

Boss Battle: The Headless Horseman

As to be expected, this culminates in the boss of the world, which Sora defeats (while still scaring Ichabod away). It turns out not to be Brom in disguise after all, but their old friend Jack Skellington, who got lost on his way back to Halloween Town and felt compelled to give everyone a good scare. Skellington is sent back to The Tavern of Tales while Sora continues to his next destination.

3. The Land of Legends

This world is primarily based on the old west, but is really a combination of a few tales. Johnny Appleseed is the first character they meet, and he's had no luck planting seeds because the land is too dry. Sora has to fight his way through the plains to enlist the help of Pecos Bill, who can rope rainclouds and move them. Unfortunately water is only one part of the solution, they also need the land plowed. For that, Sora has to track down Paul Bunyan. In the process they discover that Simba has also been lost between worlds and has been roaming the land.

Boss Battle(s)

The mid-boss is Babe the Big Blue Ox, who is only protecting Paul Bunyan (who in turn has sunk into a depression as of late). After that defeat-means-friendship moment, Sora figures out that the Impulses are made up of people's passions being stolen from them.

The main boss battle comes later in the form of Stratos, the wind Titan from Hercules. They have to enlist Pecos Bill's help to defeat it, but this releases enough of the Impulses to revitalize Paul Bunyan into helping plow the land.

4. Wishing Mountain

The last land to complete the first circle leading back to the tavern is a world based on Darby O'Gill and the Little People. Sora befriends Darby, and is the only one who believes his tales of the little people. Sora helps protect Darby from several Impulses on his way to fetch the bell for the local church, and learns that there has been another visitor who arrived before Sora who took an interest in the little people.

Through a leap of intuition they realize Aladdin has landed in this world as well and is looking to wish himself back to Agrabah. Sora climbs mount Knocknasheega where he discovers Aladdin has all but perished trying to get to the top.

Boss Battle

The Banshee. Sora has to fight it off so as to not call the Death Coach on Aladdin. His efforts are noticed by King Brian, the leprechaun, who seems surprised that Sora has no interest in wishes, only in restoring the lands and their people to the former story-driven glory. It's here that Sora is granted to ability to warp to places he's already been.

The Tavern of Tales (part 2)

As Sora has done what the Colonel suggested, the tavern is a bit livelier this time. Graves the butler, and Fletcher Hodges the curator are here now. Babylonia is still not awake, but Fletcher has taken it upon himself to revive the Balderdash Cup, a prestigious award given to the person with the greatest tale.

Jack Skellington, Simba, and Aladdin are now permanently residing in the tavern, and it takes a few cut scenes to figure out that Sora's past journeys are somehow affecting the world he's in now, and anyone who has previously traveled with him is running the risk of getting pulled into the world as well.

Jack Skellington, Simba, and Aladdin are now permanently residing in the tavern, and it takes a few cut scenes to figure out that Sora's past journeys are somehow affecting the world he's in now, and anyone who has previously traveled with him is running the risk of getting pulled into the world as well.

It's at this point that the tavern's treasurer Otis T. Wren arrives with the news that a young girl has gone missing in Devil's Bayou, and the tavern is requested to send help. With Sora currently the only one qualified to tackle the challenge, he's volunteered.

5. The Devil's Bayou

This essentially follows the story of The Rescuers, with Sora and friends in the Bernard/Miss Bianca role. Penny is replaced by a new character named Belladonna (who claims to be a princess of indeterminate age), although like Penny in the original she also has a teddy bear that she's apparently fond of. The McGuffin this time around is a rare plant, as opposed to a diamond. Madame Medusa is still the main antagonist, even though she remains unfought.

Boss Battle(s)

The midway battle is with Brutus and Nero, Medusa's pet crocodiles. The final battle is related to the plant, which is a form of nightshade that has the ability to absorb certain energies related to the Impulses. It transforms Belladonna's teddy bear into the monster of this world. When defeated, the nightshade crystalizes into a dormant item.

Tavern of Tales (part 3)

And we're back again. The takeaway here is that Sora has now met someone out of place in their world who has not traveled with him before, which throws off the earlier theory. Belladonna thanks Sora for rescuing her and expresses hope that she will be able to find her way back to the Marshes of Morva.

Tavern President Pamelia Perkins has arrived and officially makes Sora, Donald and Goofy members with the salute and creed (Kungaloosh!). Explorer Samantha Sterling then approaches Sora to inform him that Johnny Appleseed has an important discovery that he wants Sora to see.

6. Kingdom of Clouds

Returning to the Land of Legends, Sora finds that the dissipated energies from all of the defeated Impulses has caused one of the vines to stretch way into the sky. With no prompting from anyone, he climbs to the top and discovers the home of Willie the Giant, who has stolen the precious treasure known as the singing harp. You can guess how this plays out.

Boss Battle

Willie, multiple times. He has the ability to shapeshift, which means he confronts the heroes in various shapes as dictated by the environment. When defeated, it becomes evident that he was using the same type of magic energy the Impulses used to achieve these alternate forms, and now he's no longer capable of transformation. Instead of chopping down the vine, Sora allows Willie to climb down to the Land of Legends where Paul Bunyan gives him an earful for stealing the harp in the first place.

Tavern of Tales (part 4)

Based on the number of cutscenes, this is clearly the end of act two. We get a few answers. The Impulses are based on the drive people have to be something other than what they are, i.e. an energy Sora didn't realize he'd been using this whole time. People who have that energy taken from them in essence lose themselves. But he's still not clear why it's happening.

It's time for the Balderdash Competition, and Sora enters along with Otis T. Wren and recent arrival Hathaway Browne, the aviator. When it's Sora's turn to tell his greatest tale, he summarizes the events of the first Kingdom Hearts game. At first, no one believes he could have that many adventures in such a short time period, but he begins to describe how Maleficent organized an entire legion of baddies focused on a single purpose. As he's pressed for more information about Maleficent, a shadow begins forming behind him in the library, manifesting itself into Maleficent and many heartless creatures. It's up to Sora to fight his way through the tavern with the help of Donald, Goofy, Aladdin, Simba, and Jack Skellington.

Boss Battle
Maleficent in dragon form, alongside Princess Belladonna. The defeat of Maleficent restores the tavern to an unblemished state. It becomes clear that this wasn't the real Maleficent, but an illusion created out of Impulse energy and Sora's story.

With things back to normal, Sora is awarded the Balderdash Cup (which slightly increases AP). Hathaway Browne tells Sora that he's sure one of his former companions was spotted in the ocean and offers to fly Sora out to the harbor.

7. The Ocean of Dreams (Boss Battle First)
The Leviathan from Atlantis. Sora's primary goal is to rescue Ariel, and the Leviathan will be the end battle for this level. But that only proves to be the distraction from the main conflict.

A Tragic End

One of the most heart wrenching stories Disney has ever told is The Whale Who Wanted to Sing at the Met. This is the plotline Sora gets involved in for this world, and he's going to inadvertently cause the tragic ending the animated film is remembered for. First he meets impresario Tetti-Tatti and naively spills his past experience with being swallowed by a whale. Then he's going to meet Willie the Whale, and (riding on the theme of the game) encourage him to follow his passion and be more than he already is. And having set up both those elements, while Sora is dealing with the Leviathan, Willie will be harpooned just like in the original.

In this whole series, Sora hasn't dealt with an actual loss yet; certainly not one he's responsible for. It's time for Kingdom Hearts to address the fact that sometimes the world sucks and there is literally no way to prevent it.

8. Kuzcotopia

This level is unique in the sense that Sora deliberately avoids interacting with the film that it's based on. After the past tragedy Sora wants to be alone, asking Donald and Goofy to escort Ariel back to the tavern. His interactions with the characters from The Emperor's New Groove are kept to a minimum, always arriving at set locations before or after the film counterpart has happened. Impulses still run rampant, but Sora seems to be the only one who notices them as the peasants have given up on the hopes of their own.

Princess Belladonna tracks Sora down and tries to encourage him out of his despair. She shows him how to use the nightshade crystal to absorb the energy from defeated Impulses. From there he could change himself into anything he wants. But at best she only gets him to resume his role in defeating the Impulses, not gaining their powers.

Belladonna winds up getting captured by the Impulses, just because, and Sora goes after her. This leads him into Yzma's secret lab. He confronts the Impulses, but soon figures out the kidnapping was only a ruse by Belladonna. She's been controlling the Impulses herself, and the fake kidnapping was to jolt Sora out of his sense of defeat. He demands to know why she's doing this, and she offers her hand. If Sora goes with her to the Marshes of Morva, she'll explain everything. Sora refuses, not willing to abandon Donald and Goofy. Belladonna becomes so frustrated that she summons an Impulse and dumps a whole shelf of Yzma's potions onto it.

Boss Battle

An Abomination. Sora has to face off with this thing by himself, and it's meant to be 'That One Boss' of this game. Upon defeat of the Abomination, Sora heads back to the tavern. The moment he's gone, a kitten-fied Yzma scurries in and finds the remainder of her potions smashed, suggesting she's now stuck in this form.

Tavern of Tales (part 5)

The tavern is now at its full glory, and the singing harp has initiated their world famous Hoopla. The song and merriment has finally awakened Babylonia. As gratitude she offers to send Sora and his friends right where they want to go, which she assumes would be back to his world; but Sora can't imagine leaving after Belladonna has been meddling with these other worlds. So instead he asks if they can go to the Marshes of Morva.

9. Marshes of Morva
We're on Belladonna's home turf. Sora has access to all of his companions (if for some reason the player wants to use any of them). This chapter reveals Belladonna's motivations. She's a witch who thinks she's a Disney princess. As worlds became connected, she was able to use her powers to watch Sora's exploits from afar. She decided the defining trait of a Disney princess was to 'dream of something more'. Sora argues that you can always make yourself better, but you can never make yourself to be something you aren't. Belladonna counters with the fact that you can, you only have to know how. Using the power of Impulses, you can be anything you want to be. Sora outdebates her with "Not by stealing the passion of others. That only makes you a villain."

Boss Battle(s)

The Horned King does about as much here as he did in the movie, but as the game's plot heads towards the Black Cauldron, the level inevitably leads to an encounter with him. There are also two separate fights with Belladonna, and one final one with a transformed version of the Cauldron itself. The destruction of the Cauldron sucks Sora, Belladonna, and others into a void.

10. The Edge of Nothing

When Sora comes to, he finds himself in a metal structure surrounded by darkness. He first meets the intimidating robot Maximilian, who seems to want to eliminate Sora immediately but he's called off by his human creator Dr. Hans Reinhardt. Shortly thereafter, Sora is reunited with his teammates who explain that Dr. Reinhardt's ship the Cygnus rescued them all from the emptiness of space, and the Gummi Ship has been aboard in the docking station this whole time (yay, convenience). Dr. Reinhardt has been intensely studying the phenomenon of the Black Hole.

As expected, Impulses attack the ship, and Sora assumes correctly that Belladonna is also on the Cygnus. Sora et al tracks her down, but she confesses that she's no longer in control of the Impulses. It is learned through some dumb leaps of intuition that the Black Hole is a tear in the fabric of universes. Sora's universe is on the other side, and his Keyblade being in the wrong universe is what is keeping the Black Hole from closing.

Sora informs Dr. Reinhardt of this revelation. Reinhardt does in fact believe him, as he's become obsessed with the voices on the other side of the Black Hole, but he has no intention of letting Sora control the collapse of it.

Boss Battle(s) Round One

This incidentally is the point of no return. The first battle is with Dr. Reinhardt and tons of Impulses on the control deck. It ends with Reinhardt pinned under a giant screen and the place flooding with too many Impulses for Sora to handle. He sends the rest of his party to the Gummi Ship, turning his attention to Belladonna. Sora asks her to save Dr. Reinhardt. Belladonna initially refuses, but Sora presses the issue telling her that it's not too late to be a hero, and that she can be whatever she wants to be. She hears his words and seems to agree, using the Crystal Nightshade to absorb as much of the Impulse energy at it can.

Sora hurries to the Gummi Ship but is stopped for a solo fight with Maximilian. The robot is part brute force, part puzzle boss. Sora has to weaken him to the point of recharging and then breach the hull of the Cygnus to suck Maximilian into the Black Hole. He then joins his companions on the Gummi Ship and they take off.

Boss Battle(s) Round Two

Belladonna. She never tried to save Dr. Reinhardt, she only wanted the power of the Impulses, and when the Black Hole closes all of the Impulses will vanish. She appears in a huge form to block the Gummi Ship's flight path claiming she never wanted to be a hero, she wanted to be (her interpretation of) a princess. She wants Sora to be the hero of her own fairy tale. The Gummi Ship has to shoot its way through her until she's seemingly defeated.

Maximilian and Dr. Reinhardt have merged together due to the gravitational forces of the Black Hole and now control the remains of the Cygnus into the next fight. Sora wins (hopefully) but the resulting explosion separates him from the rest of his group who emerge on the other side of the Black Hole in their correct universe.

Belladonna is back for one last bout with Sora while the Black Hole is collapsing. He hacks through the remaining Impulse energy until there is only Belladonna left. The Keyblade will keep the rift open long enough for Sora to escape. Belladonna cries out for Sora to save her. Being Sora, he tries, but the result is not seen.

Epilogue

Sora wakes up in Traverse Town. Donald and Goofy have no memory of their experience in the alternate universe. The credits roll revealing everybody else got home all right.

In a post credits scene, Sora finds that his own memories are beginning to fade as well. Desperate to hold on to some element of it he quickly recreates the Tavern of Tales's salute, but the final word eludes him until a random female in town calls out "Kungaloosh!" to him. It may or may not be Belladonna, leaving her fate ambiguous.


So that in way too many words is the synopsis of the Kingdom Hearts game that isn't and won't happen. I hope you enjoyed imagining playing it. If you go back and imagine playing it on the hard difficulty, you'll get a bonus screenshot of the actual developers adding Kingdom Hearts III to their to-do list.

Kungaloosh!

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Wonder Woman: Arriving Precisely When She Means To

So perhaps you've heard by now that the Wonder Woman movie made it to theaters after something like 176 years; which really isn't that big a deal when you consider dinosaurs lived, roamed, died, and became fossilized over millions of years before ever getting a script green lit. Everybody who matters has loved it, and why shouldn't they? It's a great cast, solid script, and impressively controlled directing from Patty Jenkins.

The DC franchise has been struggling. A lot of people claim the films have been striking out (to borrow a tried and true baseball metaphor). I don't agree with that per se, I think they've been getting on the base. They just haven't scored until now. Wonder Woman finally hit the much needed home run for the team.

So with critics and audiences in agreement on the quality of the movie, one of the big questions flying around is: why did this movie take so long to get made? It seemed to have everything going for it for ages; women have in fact been playing video games and reading comics and yelling at each other over Joel vs. Mike debates for decades. The target audience has been there. And I'd like to think the bulk of male audiences have figured out 'girl stuff' isn't a virus (hell, we were getting into barroom brawls over Sailor Moon back in 1997!).

Well as usual, the answer is probably a combination of things. First off, a lot really was riding on this film. Not just the future of DC movies but female superheroes in general. Wonder Woman isn't just iconic, she's metaphorical. Unlike specifically defined characters like Xena or Jessica Jones, Diana has to effectively give off an "I'm every woman" vibe (a song that was thankfully not part of the film) while still being her own character. That's a hard balance to pull off. Superman is still struggling with it. Batman has the luxury of an inimitable rogue's gallery to reflect. But DC characters are essentially modern gods, and that's a hard level for us to find relatable.

Purely from an artistic perspective, that has to be a lot of pressure to get Diana right. Tank Girl and Domino can come and go, and any failings can be shrugged off. But if Wonder Woman had fallen apart, that would have given credence to the outdated (and insulting) notion that movies with female leads just aren't bankable. Even as of the making of the film, DC studios weren't actually betting on the film. All signs point to the studio not expecting a hit. The movie was probably only greenlit at all because they HAD to make the movie for The Justice League to work.

But screw it, let's take a cue from Diana and focus on hope. She's here now, the movie is great, and feminism (a concept truly misunderstood by way too many Youtubers) has a new ally. And I think it's worth addressing why it worked so well. It boils down to one single element; the character of Princess Diana.

First off, it helps immensely that Jenkins and Gadot clearly love the character, and both of them look like they're prepared to face down any criticism with no apologies. In a round about way, it also kind of helped that DC didn't fully believe in the film, because they didn't care enough to re-edit it behind Jenkins's back. As such, the film was a single director's vision, which is ultimately what has to happen if character nuance has any chance of surviving.

The most vital component to making the film work was this; the audience had to come away from the film knowing who Diana was, not what she can do. This is where a lot of superhero characters get lost in the crowd, because too much focus is placed on their abilities, not their souls. Many past incarnations of Wonder Woman have forgotten that she's more than a lasso and a pair of bracelets, and she's suffered for it. Here are three examples of her character handled correctly.

Lego Batman 3: Beyond Gotham (2014)

Laura Bailey. You're probably familiar with her voice work even if you don't realize it (check out her very long list of credentials on her Wikipedia entry). My first encounter with Bailey was on the Gamecube version of Bloodrayne where she gave a much more solid performance than the game required her to. Later I found out she was voicing Sana in the Kodocha dub (a feat that anime fans believed would be impossible). She's essentially amazing.

In the context of Lego Batman 3, Wonder Woman gets zapped by the red anger energy, from something related to the Green Lantern premise with which I'm far from familiar. The bulk of Bailey's performance as Diana involves her conveying the sense that she is just about to lose it. Everything from her instructions delivered with a sneer, to the most beautiful "That's so IDIOTIC!" ever screamed is flawless, and really damn funny.

So while there's not much character development to be found, there are some very interesting quirks that other versions of Wonder Woman can learn from. One is the fact that even when filled with rage, Wonder Woman is still heroic. Lex Luthor and the Joker are also hit by mood altering energies and they go through complete alignment changes. Wonder Woman does not. She still does the right thing even while she's complaining about it. That's a nice touch.

Another thing is that Diana is offered a rare opportunity for some comedy. DC is thought of as the 'serious' comic company, and their main triumvirate always look so grumpy when they pose together. And while it's probably not in character to have Wondie start cracking wise, it's okay to put her in situations so bizarre that her earnestness can give the audience a chuckle. In too many versions of her, the artists/directors seem worried that the imperfection of humor is going to drag the goddess too close to the muck of humanity. But comedy can also be sophisticated if you care enough to make it so. You can have it both ways.

DC Super Hero Girls (2015-present)

This toy line is a brilliant marketing strategy. Their goal is simple: get young girls attached to the DC characters; particularly poignant in light of Marvel's 'Where the hell are the Black Widow action figures?' fiasco. The franchise is set at Super Hero High, a high school/college hybrid that should sum up the next eight years of angst for its target audience.

The teenaged version of Wondie is voice by V.A. princess Grey Griffin with virtuoso restraint. This Diana is allowed to feel things (fear, jealousy, doubt) without the typically two minute long stories ever needing to spell out that she's wrestling with those feelings. Like her Bailey counterpart, Griffin's Diana will always do the right thing no matter how she feels about it. But it's the complexity of emotion contained in the deceptively simple storylines that stand out in this version.

For example, there's a season one video where Diana's roommate Harley Quinn (most of the villains are adapted quite a bit) affectionately puts together a highlight reel of Wondie's most embarrassing moments of the school year. In a span of mere seconds, Diana goes through shock, horror, and withdrawal before choosing to accept Harley's shortcomings in the spirit they're meant, and forcing a smile that quickly becomes genuine.

The big takeaway here is an exploration of what Wonder Woman is like when she has friends. In most Justice League appearances we're basically seeing Diana at work, with the typical workplace front we all have to display. At Super Hero High we witness more of an interpersonal dependability among the Super Friends. And the series manages to convey the tem dynamic without sacrificing the individual personalities (I daresay Sailor Moon had extended stretches where the Scouts were interchangeable). DC, pay attention to the creative team in this silly little corner of your universe. There's a lot more talent than you may be aware of.

Wonder Woman (2017)

And we're full circle. Gal Gadot is Wonder Woman. It remains to be seen what kind of range as an actress she has outside of Diana, but she's as perfectly cast in the role of Wondie as Ryan Reynolds is as Deadpool. Even when she's not on the screen you still feel her presence. The supporting male cast all make choices in the middle of wartime that are clearly influenced by their brief time spent with Diana; complete with the full spectrum of emotions that men usually avoid showing.

Diana herself never acts like she feels she has anything to prove, she merely has something she needs to do. She's naïve but not immature, innocent but not blind, vulnerable but not weak. One of my favorite moments in the film was where she and Steve were walking through the streets of London. The Amazonian was none too impressed with early twentieth civilization, eschewing the wide-eyed fascination Ariel had when sightseeing...um...Erictown (did The Little Mermaid ever name the human kingdom?). But then she sees a baby, and her face lights up. As an Amazon, she's never seen one before, and if she ever needed a physical representation of why she left the sanctity of her island, this was it. Diana is a fighter, but she's also a caretaker.

I don't know why it took so long for this film to be made, but in retrospect it was probably for the best; 1984's Supergirl and 2004's Catwoman are a pair of bullets those characters are still reeling from. Maybe we're just ready for her now, or maybe we're pointed in the wrong side of history and Wonder Woman is who we desperately need. In either case, she was worth the wait. I hope we're able to make her proud.