This Week's Shiny Object: Caitlyn Jenner

So, I don't know if you heard about Bruce Jenner because the story went relatively unnoticed, but recently he's come out as transgender, gotten breast implants, and has revealed her new identity as Caitlyn in the recent issue of Vanity Fair. Like I say, totally under the radar.

I've been reading a lot of opinions online about who is wrong for using which pronoun and what the definitions of 'judgement' and 'hero' are, and I've stayed out of the conversation because my experience has been that it's rare anybody says anything sensible in the first wave of a burning topic. But here in the confines of my thoroughly-comment-free blog site I find myself still thinking about some things that I want to express. So here they are in list form, since that's how cracked.com readers such as myself become primed to organize our thoughts.

1. Transgendered people need a voice

This is really the big issue that should be on the public table. What does it mean to be transgender? What is the biological component? What is the difference between transgender and merely relating more strongly to the opposite sex? What makes a transgender individual feel like an outsider? These are the discussions that we should be having, and probably will once we get past this magazine cover.

And therein is the first thing that's gnawing at me. Caitlyn Jenner is the most high-profile transgender face we've ever seen, but she's a terrible voice for this issue. We're talking about the world of E! reality television which is more removed from reality than GTA Online. You have Kris Jenner, history's most successful pimp, as the alpha matriarch with her revolving door of pinup/sex tape daughters; who I'm sure have no sense of personal identity anymore. Nothing relatable is ever going to come out of this fictional world.

2. Social media is doling out undeserved credit

You want breasts, you can afford them, you buy them, you have them. Good for you, it's your body. That is all that's at stake for Bruce/Caitlyn. There's no threat of losing the public's respect because that happened a decade ago. But people are calling her a hero, and preemptively adding that suggesting otherwise is being judgmental.

Yes, there are different ways to be heroes, that Schoolhouse Rock song about the number zero solidified that as canon. But there's also a difference in me saying "Weird Al is my hero" (a personal emotional statement that no one can dispute) and "Weird Al is a hero". Well, technically, if Weird Al is a hero to one person, then yes, that makes the statement true. But there's a counterable side that can and will be invoked. Has he served his country? Rescued a hostage? Taken a bullet for a lost kitten? It's understandable why a fairly notable percentage of people might feel the word 'hero' is being cheapened is this use.

Caitlyn Jenner is not in danger of losing her job or being dragged into an alley and beaten. There is no risk to her for undergoing surgery. And while it's unfair to say that this is all 'just a publicity stunt' Caitlyn is getting a reward that no other transgender person has ever gotten or possibly ever will. If someone transgender wants to come forward as say "Caitlyn Jenner is my hero" that's the opening line to a personal story that's worth hearing.

I'm not a journalist so I haven't been doing more than a passing bit of research on this story, but has Caitlyn Jenner done anything to reach out to other transgender people? Is she going to? Or is she just going to ride the 'look at me' wave for as long as it lasts?

3. I resent being told how to feel

The biggest problem with the way this story is being presented is that there are multiple issues on the table, and there's been a call to an either/or mentality about all of them as a package. I've seen people online who are comfortable dividing it into two pieces (I embrace Caitlyn but I don't like the media portrayal). Yeah, Vanity Fair doesn't give a shit human issues, they want to sell magazines. That's business. And this is a step in the discussion, but we're not there yet.

Here's what's left over. "We should embrace people of transgender (I fully agree), and as such we should accept Bruce Jenner's transformation into Caitlyn (wait, hang on) and besides, she looks stunning on the- (I said hang on, damn it!)" 

I'm from Louisiana. In revealing that to some people in more northern states I've occasionally been asked about swamp related anecdotes. I get the connection because that's the image of Louisiana with which most outsiders are familiar. But truthfully, I've never set foot in a swamp. I've seen them from the sanctity of the interstate (Louisiana does have interstates you know) and I mostly tune them out. Yes, the state has swamps, but so do other states. We also have, like, cities. With movie theaters and prostitutes and stuff. 'Louisiana' and 'swamp' are not interchangeable.

Likewise, 'transgender' and 'sex change' are two separate topics. There's an understandable overlap, but embracing the former does not automatically require one to accept the latter. The notion of whether or not Jenner is really a woman now is an ambiguous subject. It has the potential to be one of those unresolvable questions like "when is an unborn fetus technically a baby?" It's worth discussing, but not with the expectation of EVER producing a one-size-shuts-everyone-up answer.

Right now I feel like I'm being told (by the loudest voices) that Caitlyn Jenner is a woman, and that by saying otherwise I'm being judgmental and/or closed minded. I think for that to be true, one would have to equate 'open-minded' with 'unquestioning', and 'non-judgmental' with 'lacking an opinion'. In other words, no, I don't have to agree that Caitlyn Jenner is a woman and it doesn't make me any less supportive of transgender people.

I don't pretend to have answers, but I believe what I believe based on the information that I have, interpreted through what makes sense to me. 'She' is a pronoun I don't have any trouble using, but that doesn't make me believe Caitlyn a woman. If this is the identity Bruce Jenner wants now, that's entirely up to him, but I honestly believe that Caitlyn is not a real person; she's a character Bruce Jenner is playing. And I also think I have every right to believe it is completely ridiculous.

I can't help but wonder if Michael Jackson is watching this media frenzy from the afterlife thinking "Where the hell was this support when I bleached my ski- I mean, when my skin uniformly lightened on its own?"