I don't regularly discuss my faith because of the few but poignant times in my adulthood that the topic has led into a bit of a hornet's nest, but it's worth a mention for this week's blog so you'll understand where I'm coming from. I'm a Christian; raised Methodist, but not really part of an official denomination at this point in my life. I believe in God (which probably could have been implied already) but I understand why so many of my close friends don't. It doesn't bother me that intelligent and well-meaning people draw different conclusions about the nature of the unseen universe than I do. We'll know for certain when we die.
But I have a problem (with an emotional charge on it) when I hear about someone (or group) who profess to be "of faith" who use their beliefs for dishonorable purposes. At one end of the spectrum are the individual assholes who merely give themselves a sense of superiority at the expense of another person's pleasant day. Assholes of course are universal and there's probably the same percentage of them in any group, be it Christian, Pagan, Atheist, etc. But as mentioned before, the harm an individual asshole can do is typically within the scope of ruining your day.
But then there are the organizations. That's where my tolerance for human stupidity really feels stretched, and it's also where I see the greatest potential for real damage being done. This may not actually be the case, but it feels like it's a predominantly Christian-related trapping. And every time the news latches onto a new story about a Christian organization demonstrating no understanding of what Christianity is I just rub my eyes and mutter "Shit, here we go again."
The latest entry in the sad history of Christianity's delusional offshoots is the Quiverfull Movement, recently given a spotlight by the Duggar family on 19 Kids and Counting and pushed into the message boards by son Josh and the allegations of molestation. Now, I write fiction so I don't really keep up with details. But my wife excels at the information side of writing, so I'll turn the Chromebook over to her to summarize what the Quiverfull Movement is and what the situation with Josh is.
Over to you, honey.
Thank you. The Quiverfull movement is a movement where families take the Bible to be literally true and they consider all children to be gifts from God. They consider any type of birth control to be sinful and will have as many kids as God will give them.
I could write a book on what the Quiverfull movement entails, but to break it down on very simple terms, boys are trained to be the heads of the house and breadwinners, while girls are trained to be their husband's "help mates." They will be full time homemakers and and mothers. They will also follow whatever the husband chooses to do. The husband is in charge of the household, period.
In the case of Josh Duggar, what has happened is that not only has he molested girls when he was fourteen, but he recently admitted to viewing pornography and cheating on his wife, Anna Duggar. Josh has given many apologies and has admitted to sinning, but he's barely talked about how he has failed as a son, brother, father, husband and human being.
To put it lightly, from what I know about the Quiverfull movement, they will no doubt be blaming Anna behind closed doors. I am sure that they will tell her that she didn't meet Josh's sexual needs and didn't perform her duties as a wife. Josh's mother, Michelle Duggar was once quoted as saying,"'Be available. Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has, and you always need to be available when he calls.'"
So I guess the best place to start is with the Quiverfull movement itself. I don't have a problem with people wanting to have large families. I personally would find the environment to be sheer misery but not everyone is a withdrawn introvert. My problem is when people try to justify what they want by claiming it's what God wants because of an ambiguous passage in the Bible that they've decided is the Da Vinci code revelation.
If you don't use birth control and you have sex, you stand a strong chance of conceiving an embryo. That's common sense. Just like if you walk into traffic you stand a strong chance of being hit. People of the Quiverfull movement are suggesting it's somehow God's will that they are having children by...you know...TRYING TO HAVE CHILDREN. So right off the bat, I suspect we're dealing with people who are in the habit of abandoning common sense.
Moving into the gender-role pigeon holes Quiverfull dictates, we have the traditional family unit where the man is in charge and the woman is in a subservient position. In one of the documentaries we've been watching on this topic, they site author Mary Pride as the driving force behind the movement. Pride (and she couldn't have a better name) was a former activist in the feminist movement before converting to conservative Christianity in 1977. As such, she became very outspoken against feminism while issuing a call to conservative values.
Okay. First off, let's take a look at the housewife role. When feminism found its footing, the housewife archetype took a bit of a beating. It's understandable since women were historically expected to assume that role. The seeds of bitterness are there. But even today, the housewife still has a bit of a bad reputation. The problem was never with a woman being a housewife, it was with a choice being made for her that she would assume that role.
The Quiverfull movement is laced with decisions being made for the children of the families about what roles they are going to have when they grow up, and it's truly offensive. And for the record it goes both ways; maybe not in equal doses, but there is a male side to this. If someone told me that, as a man, I was expected to 'head' the household, my reaction would be "I don't WANT to be the f**king head of the house!" And it's true. I never wanted to be part of a marriage where one member outranked the other. Thank God I married a woman who felt the same way.
But the point is, somewhere in this pyramid scheme of children there are some kids who naturally gravitate towards conservative values, because there are different kinds of people in the world. But there are invariably going to be some kids who feel differently about it. And they are stuck being trained for roles they really don't want. There is going to be a blow up in many Quiverfull families that they are simply not equipped to handle. And when that happens, I truly hope they interpret it as 'God wanted your kids to grow up hating you'.
I've yammered on a bit longer than I planned, but we really need to get into the core of this story, which is Josh molesting his sisters, cheating on his wife, viewing porn, and receiving absolution from his 'claimed' Christian value upholding parents. And this topic is best addressed from a female voice first. So here is my wife again.
I have personally been in a similar situation to Anna Duggar's. I have had more than one boyfriend view pornography behind my back. I've also had a boyfriend make comments about of friend of mine's chest and followed up his actions with, "I'm sorry. I'm a guy!"
This is something that I've often found disturbing both in the Quiverfull movement and in some churches, which is that guys can't help who they are and that women shouldn't dress or behave in a way that will lead them to sin. As a devout Christian, I'm sick of it. If you read the teachings of Jesus and Him alone, you'll see that He was both loving and respectful toward women. He was not at all judgmental and and had an embracing attitude. A lot of people, Quiverfull followers included, ignore the teachers of our perfect Savior and take things out of the Bible that were only put in there because that's what the times called for. So, if you want women to be a husband's help mate, then maybe you should look at other parts of the Bible, like not eating shrimp, adultery and....I don't know...lying, just to name a few!
Look, different situations work for different marriages. Some work better if one person is in charge, while others work better when the couple functions as a unit. Do what works best for you and your spouse. Just don't let some random books that took a tiny passage out of the Bible tell you how to live your life. The bottom line, look to JESUS. Don't look to a random book that gives roles to husband and wives and specific instructions with what they should be doing with their children. I bet you if Jesus were to come down here and see some of this being done in His Holy Name, He'd be in tears.
And back to me.
I really think it's time to retire the bullshit excuse that guys simply do things like succumb to (what they perceive as) temptation because of their Y-chromosome. Either we have to agree that men are the weaker gender with no will power, or that our history of cultures has tolerated a lack of responsibility from men regarding their actions because the men have made those rules themselves.
Jim Bob Duggar has gone on record saying that molestation is pretty common in the Quiverfull movement, and I don't know which is more disturbing; the fact that it happens with such frequency that Jim Bob doesn't think it's a big deal, or that he's naïve (excuse me, -stupid) enough to expect the rest of the television audience to also shrug it off with a 'boys will be boys' mentality. But no. This isn't going away. Josh is only the first public case. There are more coming.
I've been searching online for a statement from Mary Pride about the whole thing, but so far I haven't turned anything up. I really can't imagine this is what she had in mind. She apparently denies her role in creating the Quiverfull movement, but she doesn't really seem to be speaking out against it either. Now's the time Pride. I know you're not reading this, but reality has never stopped me before. There is a small window of opportunity for you to come out against this movement that you inspired which treats the female as subservient, whose purpose is to satisfy the male and to reproduce, and for whom the act of molestation is barely thought of as a simple slip-up. Speak now, or that will be your legacy.
And to Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, your son is a criminal. He belongs in jail. Those are his actions and he's responsible for them, but he turned out exactly the way you raised him. Has he made you proud?
My wife Sarah is a contributor to the International Bipolar Foundation, HollywoodJesus, and Birmingham Fun and Family Magazine. She sometimes writes under her maiden name Sarah Brock.
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