A good theme song riles us up or earns our trust. A bad one isn't necessarily a deal breaker, but it can put us off to the story we've paid to see right out of the gate. And even a Bond film may find it an insurmountable challenge to win us back. In other words, these things matter.
So here, I've ranked the theme songs to twenty-four James Bond films in order of quality, based on what I think is important. Mostly, I'm interested in the mood that the songs set for the feature which follows. Lyrics are irrelevant to me in a Bond theme. I'm also not factoring in the opening credit visuals. I'm treating the songs as lifted straight off the soundtracks. So, here we go.
24. Moonraker - Shirley Bassey (1979)
If you're going to write a James Bond theme song, you're already working against yourself by doing a slow one. This song is a freaking lullaby, which is the last thing James Bond is about. And for a movie as ridiculous as Moonraker it's not a good idea to put your audience to sleep.
23. Writing's on the Wall - Sam Smith (2015)
Yep, the new one. It's not just a letdown, it's an embarrassment. There are really three successful moods a Bond theme can convey; there's an impending danger, there's one that's already in motion, or Bond is our guy in case one happens. This song creates the mood that Bond has locked his keys in his car and has to walk home in the rain. Don't waste our time, dude. (Addendum: The Oscars could give you nine awards for this song, it's not going to make it suck any less).
22. You Know My Name - Chris Cornell (2006)
I have seen Casino Royale at least ten times and this song has just not stayed in my head. I don't know what it sounds like, and it deserves it's low spot for leaving absolutely no impression.
21. Another Way to Die - Jack White & Alicia Keys (2008)
The Daniel Craig era just can't get a break with theme songs. Quantum of Solace had to be the single most poorly edited James Bond film. From start to finish STUFF happens, and that's all I remember about it. And this song curiously sets the right atmosphere, in that it can't seem to pick a key or decide what the actually notes in the melody are.
20. The World is Not Enough - Garbage (1999)
If you're going to call your band name 'Garbage' you're really asking for it. I'm guessing this song was supposed to be about someone bored with life, but it really just inspired the emotion. The World is Not Enough is a terrible movie with the greatest Bond pre-credits sequence. So as soon as you hear this song start, you can turn the movie off. You're welcome.
19. We Have All the Time in the World - Louis Armstrong (1969)
We're moving into the mediocre territory now, and while this is a decent enough song, it's just not Bond-theme caliber. And yeah, technically the theme to On Her Majesty's Secret Service was an instrumental piece but this is the one people remember from Lazenby's only outing; mainly because it ties in with the wonderfully tragic ending.
18. You Only Live Twice - Nancy Sinatra (1967)
Again, this song is decent, it's pretty, certainly dated, and just NOT James Bond. This song is an inspirational motivator to go back to school in your fifties. Bond is a killer. The two don't really play well together.
17. The Living Daylights - A-ha (1987)
This was a pretty good movie with one of the dumbest names (surpassed only by Octopussy). As for the theme song? Eh, there's nothing wrong with it except that it's not very good. It stays in your head, I'll give it that. But it's tepid. And Bond demands better, particularly because Timothy Dalton was really pushing for the darker Bond that Daniel Craig is getting so much credit for now.
16. Licence to Kill - Gladys Knight (1989)
Marginally better than the previous entry. Gladys Knight is a power singer, and that usually gives an okay song a needed shot of adrenaline. But that's really the only thing this song has going for it. It's just passable.
15. The James Bond Theme - Monty Norman (1962)
Yeah, I went there. I'm referring specifically to the original incarnation of the song in Dr. No. One of the most recognizable instrumental pieces in film history has been orchestrated into something truly spectacular, but in its original form the song is just okay. It hadn't found it's dramatic punch yet, and for lack of any other song from Dr. No, that's why it takes the fifteenth spot.
14. From Russia with Love - Matt Monro (1963)
I'm not really fond of this period of musical styling, but this song actually does carry a nice easy listening feel to it. Like so many of the slower numbers, this doesn't exactly announce James Bond. But it's an admirable time capsule of pre-Goldfinger days long gone.
13. All Time High - Rita Coolidge (1983)
A song called Octopussy wouldn't have received much airplay, so they went with this. I like the ballad just fine, and in an eighties romantic comedy it might have found a better home. It kind of felt like they weren't really trying here.
12. The Man with the Golden Gun - Lulu (1974)
This song is silly. It's a silly movie and a waste of Christopher Lee's talent. But somewhere in the complete preposterousness of Lulu singing her heart out, the theme song makes me smile. It could only have been part of the Roger Moore era, but yeah. This is the goofy Bond immortalized.
11. Goldfinger - Shirley Bassey (1964)
Damn right I put this one at eleven. This song is not as good as people want to believe it is. It's iconic, yes. It introduces the elements that make for a really good Bond song, absolutely. But that doesn't mean it's fantastic on its own or deserves to top the list. It's loud and brassy and it borders on self parody. Goldfinger is the Mike Myers of Bond's lineup. It makes its mark, but it will never be Phil Hartman.
10. Tomorrow Never Dies - Sheryl Crow (1997)
"Darling, I'm killed. I'm in a puddle on the floor." I know I said I'd ignore lyrics, but MAN that sums up the women in Bond's life in no uncertain terms. We're in the top ten now. Sheryl Crow's hit single is merely the least good of the good ones. We're not Bond in this song or the villain. We're the destruction in his wake. It's wonderfully melancholic.
9. Skyfall - Adele (2012)
I'd originally meant to place this one higher on the list, but then I thought about it. It's a good song with the same melancholy of Tomorrow Never Dies, but the truth is, it only seems greater than it is because the two Daniel Craig films before it gave us such crap theme songs. Giving it the credit it earns lands it in the ninth spot.
8. Diamonds are Forever - Shirley Bassey (1971)
Shirley Bassey will probably be the only repeat business the James Bond franchise ever allows with its theme songs. Unlike the tepid Moonraker or the over the top Goldfinger, she hits the sweet spot right in the middle with this one. It's a devilishly cold world, and Bond doesn't make it any warmer. Just bloodier. The woman in this song is a black widow that Bond has yet to actually encounter. Some day.
7. Thunderball - Tom Jones (1965)
Closing out the Connery era is this gem. It's utterly ridiculous and so awesome. For decades the Bond of the cinema was a superhero, and this song summarized exactly how larger than life you could push the character without sacrificing credibility. As long as they don't send him to space...
6. Die Another Day - Madonna (2002)
Believe me, I'd love to score any song with Madonna's name on it much lower, but the first time I saw these opening credits on the screen I thought "We've got a winner." The song has a sense of rebellious urgency to it. Even if the movie doesn't quite keep its energy going all the way through (and Halle Berry seemed to think she was in an Austin Powers flick), the opening really does grab you like something important is going on.
5. Live and Let Die - Paul McCartney & Wings (1973)
This is possibly the oddest song in James Bond's track list. With multiple tempo changes and a generally cold-hearted demeanor you almost wonder if you've bought a ticket to a slasher film. The film itself is uncomfortable for so very many reasons, but only John Williams had ever succeeded in this level of bludgeoning an audience with a melody.
4. Nobody Does it Better - Carly Simon (1977)
This is the slow-tempo ballad that is just special enough to crack the top five songs, and set the bar for all other Bond ballads. This movie was Roger Moore's Goldfinger, but unlike Sean Connery's brass section blasting in your face, this song has a soothing 'I have nothing to prove' quality that defines the Bond of the late seventies and early eighties.
3. For Your Eyes Only - Sheena Easton (1981)
Well, lyrically you certainly can't say that the song never mentions the film title. This is my favorite James Bond film, and I own Bill Conti's orchestrated soundtrack on vinyl. For Your Eyes Only isn't the most dramatic song, but something about it just feels like James Bond in all of his incarnations. He represents that spot of trust in a world prepared to burn.
2. A View to a Kill - Duran Duran (1985)
This is officially the worst James Bond film ever. There is literally no redeeming quality of anything that appears on the screen, and if not for this awesome song we could just as easily pretend the movie never existed. It's funny how the Roger Moore era had a merely okay batting average with film quality, but has a nearly perfect track record in the theme song department (stupid, stupid Moonraker).
1. Goldeneye - Tina Turner (1995)
Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Take the best of everything and blend it all together (a power singer, a soft pizzicato slither, an aggressive horn section, the word 'gold' in the title, and the Bond theme itself) and you get this. Bond had been out of theaters for six years when this movie happened, and this song captures the feel of the phoenix's slow burn before erupting into a golden explosion. Revenge is a kiss indeed.
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