The Doctor Who Christmas Episode Twice Upon a Time is right around the corner, and with it we bid farewell to Peter Capaldi's Twelfth Doctor as he regenerates into Jodie Whittaker. We'll also see the return of Pearl Mackie as Bill for one last hurrah, and quite possibly an appearance by Jenna Coleman. Moreover, as has been teased, David Bradley will be appearing as William Hartnell's First Doctor in one final multi-Doctor story before Moffat slips quietly out of the show runner's chair.
I'm sure it's going to be a warm, tear inducing goodbye for all, and ultimately give us exactly what we'd expect from such a sendoff, right?
Except...
This is Steven Moffat we're talking about. Mr. Misdirection himself. The man who practically reinvented the 'there is literally no way out of this- but PSYCHE! You forgot about the pack of chewing gum didn't you? Oh you gullible fools!' trope *name needs revision*. You don't really think he's going to go quietly do you?
Moffat has his flaws as a writer, but you have to admit he's ambitious. And I can't really think of another Doctor Who writer who has demonstrated having so much fun with the timey-wimey elements of the show. This is likely his swan song, and you know he's going to put his stamp on it. That one last go round that he's been saving since everybody lived, just that once.
So it's not 'if' but 'what'. What rug is he going to yank out from under us? Well, in an attempt to answer this question, let's examine what said Moffat-ism has to accomplish.
1. The tools of the trade
One rule Moffat has always abided by is fair game. Like Agatha Christie (usually) he'll give you all the pieces you need in advance. It's only as the plot unfolds that he's showing you how to put them together, but it's all laid out very early. And knowing something as crucial as the First Doctor's appearance months ago, it means the twist is staring us in the face.
2. A clean slate
I don't know what goes on behind the scenes, but Doctor Who writers at least convey a professional respect for each other. With Chris Chibnall taking the reins, it would be keeping with Moffat's character to leave the office in work ready shape. No major dangling plot threads, or dead ends to back out of. Writers tend to clean up their messes when they know they're vacating their workspaces.
3. Writer's revenge
With that said, the one collective voice I'm sure Moffat has gotten sick of listening to is the fan base. There's no pleasing us. I'm sure Moffat's main advice to Chibnall is "take their whining and petitions against you as a sign that they're still paying attention, but don't ever expect praise or gratitude from the selfish bastards". Meaning, as considerate at Moffat will inevitably be to Chibnall, we deserve no such kindness. And as this is his last chance to really piss us off, you know he's going to really throw it in our faces.
4. Mythology
Moffat knows the history of the show at least as well as any of us do, so when we cry "But what about-" he knows. He's already thought about it.
So what then does that leave us with? One of the biggest continuity issues right now is the character of the Valeyard. If you don't know, or need a refresher, the Valeyard was a villain in the Sixth Doctor's final season; the huge reveal that he was a future incarnation of the Doctor (kind of between his Twelfth and Thirteenth incarnation. It's complicated).
So on the one hand, we have Capaldi's Twelfth Doctor on the cusp of regenerating into Whittaker's Thirteenth Doctor, which seems like a now or never point to address this loose end. On the other hand, what number regeneration are we really on? Between the War Doctor and Ten using a full regeneration to create Ten-light, are we actually moving into Fifteen? And it's also not clear what the Time Lords granted Eleven when they allowed him to regenerate into Twelve. Was it a whole new cycle? Does that mean Capaldi is the new First Doctor?
We're not going to get anywhere trying to untangle that series of knots, so let's focus on Moffat instead. He could easily say "Well, you know what? The Valeyard got erased because of a butterfly wizard. Get over it," and he wouldn't be outside the realm of sanity in doing so. But remember in the Moffat penned episode The Name of the Doctor, the Valeyard was name dropped as something that's still canon. So even Moffat acknowledges that there's a continuity issue.
I don't think the Valeyard is going to make an appearance in Twice Upon a Time because it's too big of a deal to tackle in one episode, and I'm sure Moffat wants to leave it up to Chibnall whether or not to address it at all. As part of the "Clean slate" directive, we need to treat the Valeyard's position between the Twelfth and Thirteenth incarnations intact, as well as pushing it as far away as possible to deal with now or deal with later as the current or future show runner deems necessary. What do we do?
*Fake Spoilers Ahead*
This is my best guess, trying to imagine the most Moffat-y thing Moffat could do as he takes his final bow. The Valeyard's goal was to steal the Sixth Doctor's remaining regenerations. From the Valeyard's perspective, those regenerations had already happened. So it's been established that a Time Lord actually has the ability to go back really screw around with the timeline. What wasn't established was how this would happen. It's assumed the high council would have removed Six's regeneration by force.
River Song voluntarily gave up all of her regenerative energy to save Eleven. So it's also been established that one has a certain amount of choice in the matter.
Now what is our situation in Twice Upon a Time? Calpaldi's Twelfth Doctor on the verge of regenerating and Bradley's First Doctor on the verge of regenerating. What if they swapped regeneration cycles? Capaldi regenerates into Patrick Troughton's Second Doctor closing the circle, freeing the First Doctor to regenerate into Jodie Whittaker, who will become the new Second Doctor. Wouldn't that be the biggest clean slate Moffat could give Chibnall while infuriating the fan base who are already infamous for hacking Moffat's Wikipedia page and filling it up with the sentence "Steven Moffat is ruining Doctor Who"?
I'm calling it now. And if I'm right, I expect a K9 Mark V on my doorstep come New Year's. I'm sure Baxter will be thrilled with the companion.
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