2017 Movie Wrap-Up

It's that time of year again! I get to look back on all the movies from this past year that I've seen and give them the one paragraph treatment (some of which deserve it more than others). So let's just jump into it, shall we? We shall.

Movies

The Lego Batman Movie

This may have been my biggest disappointment of the year in terms of how much I thought I would enjoy it versus what I walked away feeling. It was entertaining...enough. I guess. But The Lego Movie set a really high bar for story quality, and this one didn't even match the fun of the Lego Batman Video Game series cut scenes. Two main problems. Will Arnett's Bojack Batman is much funnier as a scene stealer than as the lead. And there's honestly nothing at stake in this movie. The Lego Movie figured it out; horror to a Lego character is being crazy glued permanently to one spot. The destruction of Lego Gotham doesn't mean anything.

Logan

Dear God, I didn't like one single thing about this movie; a sentiment made all the more nerve grating by the fact that everyone in my social circle insists on how great it is. Here's the problem: who do I care about? Wolverine is not a consistently interesting character. In order to crack his shell, he has to be in a fish out of water scenario. In Logan he's in his element, and it's Dark Knight Rises level dreariness. Xavier is waiting around to die, and an obviously bad decision on his part gets an innocent family killed. Laura is completely unsympathetic (that store clerk was only doing his job) and she never needed Logan's help in the first place. I come to the movies to get away from hopelessness, my trending on Facebook feed covers that.

Beauty and the Beast

I've made it no secret that the animated version of this story is not my favorite film, but I wound up quite pleased with the live action remake. The flaws in the original are hammered out to full effect here; the town's idolization of Gaston, the servants' role in their own punishment, a more careful build up of Belle and the Beast's connection, Gaston's more active hand in his own demise. Even Maurice gets a badass upgrade. The songs aren't entirely consistent in quality, but the movie has a lot of life in it. If only Disney would quit with the remakes here.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

The short version: I disliked it less than the first one. I still think the core characters are shallow, and by the end of this second film they've had about as much growth as most get in their first act, but it's still growth. I can't say they got that in their first film. The new characters fare much better. Mantis was a delight. Ego was engaging. Nebula completely won me over, and since she left literally no impression on me in the first film I'm treating her like a new character. I can't really say I felt like my time had been well spent by the end of the movie, but I didn't feel like it was wasted either. I basically watched it because it's part of the MCU, and I didn't mind.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

This movie was passable. It also cost between two and three hundred million dollars to make, which is an uncomfortable price tag for passable. It's better than we'd normally expect from the fifth film in a trilogy, but Jack Sparrow honestly ran aground two films ago and there hasn't been anything new to the series to really call us back to sea. Javier Bardem manages to work in some convincing sneers, and Kaya Scodelario could have made a solid protagonist if the script had bothered to favor her. But Geoffrey Rush's Barbossa really deserved better, and it's evident the film is trying to have fun but not actually succeeding.

Wonder Woman

Everything that needs to be said about this film has been said, and it's all true. It's fantastic, and it's my number one film of the year. No, it's not perfect, but it doesn't matter that it's not perfect. What matters is that it's awesome. Now unfortunately I think we're still raving about the fact that a female led superhero film directed by *gasp* a woman director did so well, when we should honestly be well past the point where those things stand out. But if there's one lesson we've learned the hard way from 2017, it's where we are as a society. We need Wonder Woman. And until we invite her into the real world we have her movie to inspire us.

The House

Did I finish watching this movie? Hang on, let me read the synopsis. No, I think we gave up on this one. I imagine on paper this seemed like a good idea; stick Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell in a movie together about a suburban couple who has to run an impromptu casino in order to cover their daughter's college tuition. But sadly they both resort to standard SNL caliber performances which often don't carry through four minute sketches, much less a feature film. And I really wish comedies would stop reaching for that coveted R rating. If you earn it, that's fine. But shock value doesn't equate to laughs, and this movie (the first half anyway) was tepid on both.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

I have to address the inescapable. Since the dawn of the age of superhero movies, this is their third freaking time trying to get this character off the ground. It's unfair, but that shadow looms over Tom Holland. With that said, this is probably the best Spider-Man movie to date in terms of balance, pacing, emotions, action, characters, and plot. The highs of the past might peak a little higher, but the lows- you know, I'll just let you fill in the end of that thought. In addition to effectively integrating Spidey into the MCU, the movie has an inspired use of Michael Keaton to crack their villain problem. You have a good thing going, please don't screw it up again. Um, one quick question though. Who the hell has been asking for a Venom movie?

Atomic Blonde

This is another one I only got halfway through before losing interest. I mean, yeah, it's an action movie with action in it, but it fails to overcome the fundamental issue with any movie about a spy who's not James Bond. Spies aren't inherently likable. It's a competent spy movie, a bit paint by numbers. I guess the big selling point is that it's a woman in the role that's usually a men only club. Charlize Theron plays the role with all the coldness you'd expect from a real spy, which makes her, you know, kind of boring. Believable yes. But like I say, the movie didn't keep me engaged. We certainly need action heroines, but invulnerability doesn't read as character. May I suggest looking to Geena Davis in The Long Kiss Goodnight for an example of a badass you can root for?

Logan Lucky

The previews promised something they didn't deliver on. It looked like we were going to get a caper comedy. Instead we got a caper...what do you call a drama that doesn't really have drama? Just a movie? That exists? We have a caper that exists. It had some good elements. It's always nice when Channing Tatum gives a performance that- well, gives a performance. Adam Driver clearly has a range on him that we haven't seen the full extent of. And Daniel Craig looks like he's having a blast, probably happy to finally have a recognizable role besides that one Stormtrooper that Rey put the whammy on. But overall this movie started at the pace of a casual mosey, and then stayed there. Not a bad movie, but I'm pretty sure I've flipped through more exciting atlases.

Goodbye Christopher Robin

A story, by its nature, isn't primarily concerned with relaying information. It's concerned with telling you something. Hence the challenge with any story based on real events; inevitably accuracy and narrative are going to come into conflict with each other. While I can't authoritatively say this movie is accurate, my guess is that it's probably the case since narrative took so many hits. It seemed like every other scene the film introduced a new element that I was more interested in following than the primary arc, and never got to. Performances were strong. Margot Robbie is clearly going to have a long career. But in the end it was almost like the film version of a well written term paper; solid but not necessarily anything to say. Therefore I wouldn't know who to recommend it to.

Thor: Ragnarok

Tony Stark was the character who breathed a new dignity and gravitas into superhero films, which is why he led off the whole seventeen film and counting MCU. But Thor was the character they had to get absolutely right in order to have any sort of staying power, namely because he skirts the line into preposterousness. Lucky for us that Chris Hemsworth went into acting. Even then, it's been a slow multi-film process to get at his character. But by Ragnarok, we're convinced Hemsworth is Thor, and we've seen what he can do. This is the movie that truly let's us see who he is at his core. It turns out he's noble, and funny, and vulnerable, and able to hold his own against notorious upstagers like Tom Hiddleston and Jeff Goldblum. As for the movie, it comes together more episodic than single thread. But the ride is so much fun you don't mind so much.

Murder on the Orient Express

So how do you remake a classic mystery that damn near everyone already knows the ending to? Simple really, you treat it like a really good drama. This is the strength of Kenneth Branagh's direction; the same guy who gave us Dead Again, which I never get tired of re-watching. As usual the story is about the murder, but this version is equally about the way it affects the great Hercule Poirot and his black and white view on crime. Unlike a typical detective story, our sleuth is clearly changed by the end of his summation. It's unfortunate that not everyone in the all-star cast has enough opportunity to strut their talent, but the older cast members have proven themselves dozens of times over. And they're kind enough to let Daisy Ridley, Josh Gad, and Leslie Odom Jr. demonstrate their staying power. Oh by the way, Michelle Titania Eris Sukie Ridgemont Catwoman Mindy Simmons Pfeiffer still has not peaked as an actress. At this point, it's quite possible she never will.

Justice League

I kind of liked Batman Five Superman. Sure the Martha thing was silly, but I think people have been unnecessarily harsh on it overall. With that said, I thought Justice League was even better. Perhaps not where we want it to be (truthfully, we're fans, we don't know what we want) but the franchise is moving in the right direction. Steppenwolf was decent enough, and at least a step above the majority of Marvel's Phase One and Two villains. The Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg were all a lot more likable than I was expecting. And Henry Cavill finally owned his role as Superman. My past criticisms about Zack Snyder still hold, but out of all the working directors in Hollywood I think I've seen the most growth from him. There were a lot more good things here than bad. So listen nerds, quit being bullies. We're better than this.

The Disaster Artist

I'm assuming you've experienced Tommy Wiseau's The Room; if not, I can't help you in this one paragraph review of a different film. So let me skip to James Franco. I'm happy to be wrong about this, but Franco strikes me as one of the cool kids. I don't mean that as a compliment, just a categorization from someone who grew up as anything but. For whatever reason, Franco seems like a cool kid who has a bizarre attraction to being a misfit. It would explain his draw to completely-detached-from-reality Wiseau. But unlike Franco's past attempts to infiltrate the world of misfits, he does a thorough job here. It's inevitable that The Disaster Artist gets compared to Ed Wood, a similar concept about a passionate director with limited-to-no talent and the fruit of their labors. Whereas Wood's problem was that he was best suited for radio drama (a flavor that translated poorly to film), Wiseau's obstacle is a chronic lack of understanding human behavior. This film about a film succeeds in humanizing Wiseau in a way the man himself never could. Early buzz is that the film is an Oscar contender, and I quite agree; James Franco may very well have earned a director's nomination. But for acting, that accolade goes squarely to his brother James for his portrayal of actor Greg Sestero, the audience surrogate caught between Tommy's world and our own. And kudos to the ending. While Ed Wood was kind enough to omit the part where people treated the director as a joke in favor of a fabricated happy ending, The Disaster Artist embraces the reactions as a vital element to what makes the bad movie something so special.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

I loved it. Are there flaws? Yes. Do they matter? Honestly no, not to me. There were some things that could have been handled better (Laura Dern's character, Finn's sidequest, where the hell Lando is), and the sequel trilogy still hasn't given us that ONE iconic lightsaber battle on par with Darth Maul and "No, I AM your father", but this movie did everything a Star Wars movie needs to. It advanced it's own arc, challenged the overall mythology, and showed us a few things we hadn't seen before. I think at this point Rey has proven herself every bit as much iconic as my childhood action figures. Right now, this movie has edged out A New Hope as my second favorite Star Wars film. I'll need a few months to decide how exactly it compares to Empire.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Ginny and I went this morning to an early showing, and it was the perfect movie to end a really horrible year on. Even better than the premise and the funny lines, the characters were legitimately likable. The jock, the nerd, the princess, and the bookworm (Scooby-Doo minus the dog) get trapped in a sentient video game that just wants friends; kind of like a Tron version of The Breakfast Club. The bulk of the fun in any body switching movie is watching the actors pull off the multiple layers of credibility. The Rock's charm as a Hollywood star is his refusal to take himself seriously, but he's quite adamant about treating the high school kid inhabiting him with respect. Kevin Hart is clearly in his element, and Jack Black has been waiting his whole career to play a teenage girl. But it's Karen Gillan who really shows off her range, always presenting both the Lara Croft expy and the terrified girl inside her simultaneously. In the end I found myself wishing to spend more time with the characters outside of their game. But less is more and the movie is best left sequel-free; the short but sweet jewel of the Jaguar's Eye that it is. Jumanji!