2019 Movie Previews

"I'm an American! I don't have to see something to know it's stupid!" Tom Smothers

I've been really busy cheating on my nanowrimo word count this year, which is why I haven't had much time to post a whole lot to my blog. But as Hollywood continues to try to bankrupt itself by releasing nine blockbusters every couple of days I thought it might be a fun distraction to do a preview on the upcoming releases of the first half of 2019.

Here then are the twenty-two films listed on Wikipedia that stood out for me one way or the other, and what I think the odds are of them being hits or misses. I've included my interest level ranging from one to five.

1. Escape Room 1/4: Six strangers participate in a room escape game that turns deadly.
Interest Level: 4. It shows promise. And I'm a sucker for game-oriented films.
Will it be good? That one's a toss-up. We've tried hybrid-ing film and game before and the results have been predominantly disappointing. This movie shows a lot of promise and could be quite fun if the filmmakers don't force the tragic ending so as to appear 'indie'. 1997's Cube anyone?
Will it do well? No. Not until DVD. January is typically the dumping ground for films that the studios don't believe in, and a movie like this requires a word of mouth hookup to generate interest. At least it will show up for a few days on the highest grossing films of 2019 list, if that's any consolation.

2. The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part 2/8: The continuing adventures of Emmet, Lucy, Batman, and Princess Unikitty.
Interest Level: 4.5. It's got a tough bar to probably fall short of, but hopes are high.
Will it be good? Yes, of course. It's a question of how good. The first movie may have been lightning in a bottle, and I can't imagine how they could duplicate it for the sequel. But as long as it tops the meh-ness of the Lego Batman Movie, I'll have very little to gripe about.
Will it do well? Oh yeah. It's going to spend about a month topping the highest grossing film list, and won't likely fall off until November, if even then.

3. Alita: Battle Angel 2/14: A live (sort of) adaptation of the classic manga Battle Angel Alita; known affectionately as BAA.
Interest Level: 2. For a lot of us old enough to have caught the first wave of anime in the States, Battle Angel was our initiation into how operatic a kick in the gut could be. But it really runs the risk of its soul getting westernized out.
Will it be good? It's Robert Rodriguez, so it will look good. But emotional impact simply isn't confirmed under his skillset. Granted, he hasn't proven he can't handle the weight, but spectacle alone isn't going to carry a misfire.
Will it do well? I'd say even odds. On the one hand it's got James Cameron's stamp on it, which seems to attract audiences like moths no matter how eye-rollingly dull the movie turns out to be. On the other hand, people are still waiting for their tax refunds in February. It's not the best time to give movies a blind shot.

4. Happy Death Day 2U 2/14: Come celebrate Valentine's Day with a return to the Groundhog Day loop.
Interest Level: 5. Happy Death Day was a silly premise that they did some genuinely inspired things with. And when a cast and crew is having that much fun making a film, of course you want to see them rehash the party.
Will it be good? It's doubtful it will be bad. The first film pretty much felt complete, so there's always a risk of undoing what worked. But at the same time the killer's motivation was the only real weak element, and this could be a chance to fix that.
Will it do well? Respectably. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a slightly bigger hit, as so many people have discovered the first film on DVD. But I honestly hope they leave well enough alone after the sequel. Birthday treats go stale quickly.

5. Captain Marvel 3/8: The MCU finally admits that there's an audience for super-heroines.
Interest Level: 4.5. Given Marvel's track record, there's not any reason to doubt it will be good. But all I really know about her character is that she's essentially Marvel's Superman, which might come with the same over-powered story issues.
Will it be good? Naturally. Marvel's got it's act together. The question is more, will it be amazing like Black Panther, or will it just be good enough like Iron Man 3?
Will it do well? Uh, yeah. At the end of the day it doesn't matter if it's good. It's necessary. You don't think you're going to go into Avengers 4 having skipped this one, do you?

6. Dumbo 3/29: Oh look. A live action remake of a classic Disney film. Yay...
Interest Level: 0.5. Guys, seriously. This may not be your direct-to-video redux, but in the foreseeable future when 'oversaturation' becomes equated with Disney, this is what people are going to be using as the example.
Will it be good? I don't have the lung capacity to sustain the sigh of appropriate length. Why put this movie in Tim Burton's hands? Unless you're doing the version where the heartless invade, Burton seems to be the least qualified director to take on the emotions needed.
Will it do well? Dear God, I hope not, but large groups of people have a habit of disappointing me. Maybe they'll remember what a waste of time his Alice in Wonderland was, but I suspect it won't matter.

7. Shazam! 4/7: DC throws in the towel and decides to just copy Marvel.
Interest Level: 2.5. The trailer looks funny, and DC could certainly use some funny in their camp. But trailers don't always match their films, and DC already has the reputation of being all over the place.
Will it be good? That would be nice, wouldn't it? I don't know how DC's pantheon of modern deities became the underdogs to Marvel's demi-humans, but I'm more than willing to forgive some rough edges if it keeps them in the game.
Will it do well? Best guess: adequate. DC has proven they're run by committee, which is why their films tend to be messes. Shazam seems like a decent supporting player, but when you've used your three biggest guns and only Wonder Woman has hit the mark, it might be time to go back to the minors for a bit.

8. Avengers 4 5/3: The world's first cinematic television show airs its season finale.
Interest Level: 5. Duh.
Will it be good? The Russo brothers have emerged as the superstars of ensemble action films, so if they drop the ball at the end then I'd expect literally nobody was up to the task. But in addition to having to give resolution to about thirty-eight subplots, this is goodbye to ten years of story. There are going to be emotions.
Will it do well? Ha ha. Good one.

9. Pokémon: Detective Pikachu 5/10: Ryan Reynolds is Pikachu, a detective in the live-action world of Pokémon, bent on solving the disappearance of -wait, what?
Interest Level: 4. You know, if you'd just given me the written synopsis I'd assume this was a joke ad for the Deadpool collection on blu-ray. But no. This is actually happening. And it's just strange enough to have my attention.
Will it be good? *shrugs* Maybe. Nintendo is so guarded about their properties, they must really believe in the project to have signed off on it. The fact that the trailer isn't depicting Deadpool humor in a presumably family film is a good indicator.
Will it do well? You know it will. I feel a little bad for the Ugly Dolls movie which opens opposite, because you know it's not going to stand a chance. But we're in the middle of 90's nostalgia, so Detective Pikachu is going to rake in whatever Avengers 4 doesn't. And if the production team has their hearts in the right place, it just might deserve to.

10. Aladdin 5/24: The story of Aladdin. Retold. In case you've forgotten.

Interest Level: 3-ish? I would really, really like to see this live-action remake trend die, but there's a regrettably morbid side of me that can't help but be a little curious. The original was fun, but incredibly imbalanced. Perhaps we'll get to see the 'What Could Have Been' version where Genie doesn't hijack the film and Jasmine actually has something to do?
Will it be good? A Guy Ritchie film is like a fireworks show. It's big, loud, and colorful, and you don't really remember much about it once it's over. I honestly can't judge its quality going in, and I won't be surprised if I feel the same way after seeing it.
Will it do well? I would bet on yes. Solo: A Star Wars Story took in almost $400 million and it had a backlash that Aladdin doesn't. Aladdin will probably make about that range. Whether it's a hit or a flop depends on what it cost to make.

11. Dark Phoenix 6/7: X-Men 3 again. Or 4 if you start counting with the McAvoy series.

Interest Level: 1. 2000's X-Men was ultimately the reason superhero movies are what they are today, but I'm honestly over this franchise. The films have tripped more times than Jennifer Lawrence, and once Bob Iger makes up his mind is any of this even going to matter?
Will it be good? Writer/producer/director Simon Kinberg isn't a name associated with much more than adequacy. So anticipate that. Unfortunately a movie like this needs more than adequacy. And they probably should have done this instead of Apocalypse.
Will it do well? Don't count on it. The younger cast just feels like a pale imitation of what drew us to the theater almost two decades ago, and it seems like we've only been going lately out of obligation. Maybe it's time to pull the plug before Channing Tatum does irreparable damage to Gambit.

12. Toy Story 4 6/21: The toys are back! And this time they're even more back than they were last time they were back!
Interest Level: 2. You read that right. One was groundbreaking. Two was probably flawless. Three was, dare I say, not as solid as it's given credit for but still a well earned conclusion to the story. Quit while you're ahead for &#$%'s sake!
Will it be good? *huff* Yeah. If there's one sure bet, it's that Pixar knows how to tell a story with these characters. Whether or not it's considered a worthy fourth chapter in the trilogy is going to be the debate.
Will it do well? As well as Christmas does in coming to Who-ville.


...and one to grow on
I decided to stop at June because I feel the blog is long enough. If you're interested in seeing me tackle the second half of 2019, let me know. But after dealing with Dumbo and Aladdin, I feel compelled to add that I have absolutely no interest in the remake of The Lion King. The original was a beautifully drawn just-okay story, and I think we've seen the best version of that just-okay story already. I can think of no reason whatsoever to justify the trouble of rehashing it. There.