So I've been taking a bit of a break while I figure out what I want to do next with the blog, and I thought I might comb through my personal archives again to see what I haven't already stamped on here. Over the next few days I'm going to post the song lyrics from my 2005 stage show End of the World, which I'm sure I've mentioned in a previous post.
The quick version is End of the World was a two act stage show I co-wrote (mostly wrote) with my Disney friend/co-worker David Armand which consisted of a series of three to seven minute comedy sketches and a couple of musical numbers. So what follows is the lyrics to the opening scene. Feel free to send me a video of you performing the song in your living room.
Trial Attempt
This scene is a courtroom sequence with defendant Roger Macalendar, whose repeated instants that his name is pronounced MacLENdar fall on deaf ears.
Roger is on trial for:
"two counts of intraperpelated variant waning
three counts of magnanical disentribulatory malapropriate zygotics
one count
of second degree ubiquitous anachronistic yeoman amalgamance…by circumstantial
association
and six counts of
semigeometaphoricharismaticxenojerrozooriboniwaffalexitrepiduvalabjuquasi-polynomisthetispherikilofendismenquixotickoverthawlyphantasmitigoricalization".
After that final charge is spoken for the fifth time, the actress playing the court stenographer throws her hands up and storms out of the sketch, leaving the remaining performers stunned and a bit baffled since her character allegedly had the sketch's punchline.
After a brief discussion about how the actress has had a history of needlessly overcomplicating things, someone asks the group if there's a word with the meaning 'to overcomplicate something to make it seem important' which segues into the opening song, which is clearly a parody of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (and having performed this ON Disney property opened up a bit of behind the scenes trepidation that the high-ups might send us a cease and desist letter, which we addressed by simply keeping our mouths shut about it for the four days that we ran the show).
Grace: (coming center stage) On the contrary gentlemen, there's a very good word for it. (to Terry) Am I right?
Terry: Tell them what it is.
Grace: Right. It's…
Semigeometaphoricharismaticxenojerro-
Zooriboniwaffalexitrepiduvalabjuquasi-
Polynomisthetispherikilofendismenquixotick-
Overthawlyphantasmitigoricalization
Eeyam diddle-iddle-iddle um diddle aye...am diddle-iddle-iddle um diddle aye...jump in anytime guys I feel like an idiot doing this by myself!
When Roger was arrested under lorry petty theft
They saved his brights and waived his rights 'til there was nothing left.
The owner took the parrot home and ordered it to speak.
And then he heard this single word repeated for a week.
Oh
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
Long enough to buy a bluff for minor meditation
By the time you've said the crime the jury's on vacation
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
(gratuitous am diddling where the rest of the cast finally joins in)
Terry:
Because the jury constantly was hanging on defense
His honor struck the foreman out to name the precedents.
They entered in the record with the heading 'just because'
Grace and Terry:
A shocking charge for men at large and this is what it was.
Oh
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
Even though the sound of it can counter mitigation
Hope you've slung a nimble tongue or face a laceration
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
(more am diddling)
Grace:
They traveled to the highest court and left with no appeal.
The judge said 'Roger, you're the sort who's still the man of steal'.
Terry:
So proud they were of time they spent insuring his defeat
But while the judge pronounced the sentence Roger hit the street.
Grace and Terry:
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
Only word that causes third degree defenestration
Play it on a scrabble board and earn your graduation
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
(a bit more am diddling)
Blog note: The following verse was cut from the performance for pacing purposes, but it's restored here because I'm undeservedly pleased with my joke.
Terry:
And jolly Roger's final word is on his epitaph.
Of course the thing is long enough to hold a paragraph.
So blessed be the tie that binds the reader to the spot.
It's got too many characters for such a simple plot.
Grace and Terry:
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
Solely wrecked the dialect of true enunciation
If you say it loud you'll never last the whole duration
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
(one last round of am diddling)
Grace: You know you can say it backward, which I'm not going to.
Terry: Thank God.
Grace:
So when the press is causing stress there's no need for dismay.
Just clear your throat and share this quote, they'll stay the hell away.
But better use it sparingly or it could leave you flat.
Terry:
For somewhere a stenographer is carrying a bat.
Chorus:
Semigeometaphoricharismaticxenojerro-
Zooriboniwaffalexitrepiduvalabjuquasi-
Polynomisthetispherikilofendismenquixotick-
Overthawlyphantasmitigoricalization
The chorus repeats faster when the actress who stormed out of the sketch comes back on the stage, evidently still bitter about the experience, and orders the stage cleared.
And as long as I'm being self indulgent here, we then transitioned into a parody of the then current afternoon parade called Share a Dream Come True, which opened with a recording of Julie Andrews talking about Walt Disney, a kid's chorus of the main theme, and then a child's voice announcing the Magic Kingdom's (and later the mention of Kodak's sponsorship) presentation of the parade.
Here was our version:
Terry: Tell them what it is.
Grace: Right. It's…
Semigeometaphoricharismaticxenojerro-
Zooriboniwaffalexitrepiduvalabjuquasi-
Polynomisthetispherikilofendismenquixotick-
Overthawlyphantasmitigoricalization
Eeyam diddle-iddle-iddle um diddle aye...am diddle-iddle-iddle um diddle aye...jump in anytime guys I feel like an idiot doing this by myself!
When Roger was arrested under lorry petty theft
They saved his brights and waived his rights 'til there was nothing left.
The owner took the parrot home and ordered it to speak.
And then he heard this single word repeated for a week.
Oh
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
Long enough to buy a bluff for minor meditation
By the time you've said the crime the jury's on vacation
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
(gratuitous am diddling where the rest of the cast finally joins in)
Terry:
Because the jury constantly was hanging on defense
His honor struck the foreman out to name the precedents.
They entered in the record with the heading 'just because'
Grace and Terry:
A shocking charge for men at large and this is what it was.
Oh
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
Even though the sound of it can counter mitigation
Hope you've slung a nimble tongue or face a laceration
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
(more am diddling)
Grace:
They traveled to the highest court and left with no appeal.
The judge said 'Roger, you're the sort who's still the man of steal'.
Terry:
So proud they were of time they spent insuring his defeat
But while the judge pronounced the sentence Roger hit the street.
Grace and Terry:
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
Only word that causes third degree defenestration
Play it on a scrabble board and earn your graduation
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
(a bit more am diddling)
Blog note: The following verse was cut from the performance for pacing purposes, but it's restored here because I'm undeservedly pleased with my joke.
Terry:
And jolly Roger's final word is on his epitaph.
Of course the thing is long enough to hold a paragraph.
So blessed be the tie that binds the reader to the spot.
It's got too many characters for such a simple plot.
Grace and Terry:
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
Solely wrecked the dialect of true enunciation
If you say it loud you'll never last the whole duration
Semigeosomethingmitigoricalization
(one last round of am diddling)
Grace: You know you can say it backward, which I'm not going to.
Terry: Thank God.
Grace:
So when the press is causing stress there's no need for dismay.
Just clear your throat and share this quote, they'll stay the hell away.
But better use it sparingly or it could leave you flat.
Terry:
For somewhere a stenographer is carrying a bat.
Chorus:
Semigeometaphoricharismaticxenojerro-
Zooriboniwaffalexitrepiduvalabjuquasi-
Polynomisthetispherikilofendismenquixotick-
Overthawlyphantasmitigoricalization
The chorus repeats faster when the actress who stormed out of the sketch comes back on the stage, evidently still bitter about the experience, and orders the stage cleared.
And as long as I'm being self indulgent here, we then transitioned into a parody of the then current afternoon parade called Share a Dream Come True, which opened with a recording of Julie Andrews talking about Walt Disney, a kid's chorus of the main theme, and then a child's voice announcing the Magic Kingdom's (and later the mention of Kodak's sponsorship) presentation of the parade.
We share a magic day We've spared the magistrate
We share enchanted nights We've spared the copyright
It's a never ending story You'll forget the end is boring
That together we all write. And the clever scenes are trite.
It's been a part of me Expended artistry
It's been a part of you Is meant to target you
A part of growing up together An apropos enough endeavor
Sharing a dream come true. Rarely the themes construe.
Fake child voice: And now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the Magic Kingdom, Kodak, Right Guard, Dr. Pepper, Chiquita, Playtex, and Off present the End of the World Parade!
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