Monday, September 29, 2014

Beaker's Dozen: Ranking the Muppet Movies (6-1)

As I can't seem to refocus my mind to work on the next part of the Scooby Doo story until I finish out the Muppet list, here is the second half.
 
 
6. The Muppets (2011):


The 5th and 6th place spots were REALLY close for me. But after consulting my wife (who was moved to tears by the end of The Muppets) we both agreed that this movie still belonged in the 6th spot.

A couple of things bugged me about the premise of this movie, which I can overlook for the purpose of evaluation but I still want to point out. The Muppets have gone their separate ways and it becomes a bit of a ‘we’re getting the band back together’ formula. Now I realize the Muppets have less continuity than the Zelda franchise; for example. Gonzo has gone on record saying that he was grateful to have learned that he was an alien but then he ran into Frank Oz who reminded him that Muppets From Space was “just a movie”. (Fozzie: But Gonzo never misses a chance to fire himself out of a canon! Hey! Wakka Wakka!) Be that as it may, this movie treats the gang as if they haven’t seen each other since they took Manhattan. They’ve been together! I have the DVD’s including Letters to Santa!

Okay second issue, they’re putting on a show to save the Muppet Theater from a greedy villain. Um, didn’t we just do this in It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie?

With that out of the way, the movie is very funny. The chaos of the old Muppet Show is back, albeit tempered down a bit. It’s a lot of fun to see the theater recreated and to finally see the backstage area from the second floor perspective. The script was clearly written out of love for the Muppets, and it pays tribute to the great Jim Henson.

Now Walter, who makes up a bulk of the story, initially felt pointless to me. I had the same complaints many others had about the usurping of Robin, as well as the fact that sometimes the script refers to him as Gary’s brother and sometimes as his friend. (One question I really don’t want answered, did human parents procreate Walter?) But where Walter’s purpose starts to come through here is in his outsider’s view on the Muppets. Gonzo will always be the stunt artist without really thinking about the consequences and Fozzie will always tell the jokes he finds funny without asking himself if an audience will respond favorably. Walter serves as the voice of reason that Kermit was too stressed, Robin too young, and Scooter too people-pleasing to have. Walter would never have worked in the eighties, but there’s a place for him now.

Jason Segel. He clearly loves the Muppets enough to have worked so hard co-writing a script for them. But all the problems of the movie can really be traced back to him (and co-writer Nicholas Stoller). As much love as Segel has for the Muppets, I don’t think he really understands them. With the exception of Miss Piggy, who actually demonstrates some multilayered-ness to her performance, the Muppets are all trapped playing the most simplistic versions of themselves. And then there’s the subplot with Amy Adams that clutters up a third of the movie and never leads to any sort of payoff (except for Segel I guess, who wanted to work with Amy Adams).


5. The Great Muppet Caper (1981):


So the 5th place spot was neck and neck between a movie that paid tribute to Jim Henson and one that actually had him in the director's chair. The latter wound up being the trump card.

There are so many wonderful sequences in this movie. The opening number has to be the most energetic fourth wall breaking song since the climax of Blazing Saddles. The bicycle scene is a thing of understated beauty. There's Beauregard's driving, John Cleese's bewilderment, Oscar the Grouch's abrupt cameo, and a wonderful MGM homage with "The First Time it Happens".

Together Jim and Frank are a golden comedic duo whose Bert/Ernie, Kermit/Fozzie, and Swedish Chef/his own hands are worthy of comparison to the legendary comedic duos of Hollywood's black and white era. But the chemistry usually falls into a sometimes awkward territory whenever Kermit and Piggy try to convey romantic feelings; the big exception being this movie. Piggy's less favorable qualities are toned down in The Great Muppet Caper allowing her to actually have a charm that she ordinarily only pretends to have. As a result, I find myself rooting for the relationship in way I'm more often indifferent to.

Of course Kermit also rarely has to compete for her attention, and the love triangle with Charles Grodin really works much better than I imagine it ever looked like it was going to on paper. Grodin is spot on with the level of silliness he's required to play his admitted villain yet still demonstrating a sophisticated degree of restraint when the plot requires it. His character of Nicky is attracted to Miss Piggy, and Grodin throws every nuance of infatuation, lust and regret into the way he looks at her. You really can accept that Nicky is falling for a foam and felt sow operated under the floor by a man speaking in a falsetto voice. It's a brilliantly surreal performance.

There's only one real problem with this movie, but unfortunately it's a big one. The plot is lifeless. It's not to say that it doesn't work, but it only serves as a framework for the individual sequences that fly beautifully; i.e. the sum of the parts are greater than the whole. And some of those parts suffer in contrast. The Esther Williams parody is delightful on its own, but in context it feels more like an obstacle than a contribution. The Muppets playing baseball with the Baseball Diamond should have been funny, but it never reaches the energy needed to serve as a climax.

Worst of all, nothing ever really feels like it's at stake in this movie. Even the plot of Muppets From Space had a destination that mattered (despite it being the wrong destination). I think it's safe to say that Jim Henson was a genius when it came to short films and sketches, but he hadn't quite mastered the recipe of a ninety minute storyline. But still, that bicycle scene...


4. Muppets Treasure Island (1996):


You know how the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy (plus) presents pirates as heroic rebels? Well screw that! THESE are pirates, and they're in a freaking Muppet movie! They're cutthroat, vengeful and dishonest. Even if they sing and dance they're still dangerous.

I've seen this movie at least twenty times and my jaw still drops at that opening number; "Shiver my Timbers" is probably the only Muppet song with the word 'murder' in the lyrics. It starts in a dark place with gunfire and the death of Billy Connolly before finally reassuring us that this is in fact a Muppet movie with Kermit and friends, but that disconcerting feeling stays with us in the form of Tim Curry's Long John Silver.

Johnny Depp never deserved an academy award nomination for playing a pirate, no matter how likeable he was. Tim Curry deserved one for this performance. His Long John is charismatic, seductive, ruthless and surprisingly vulnerable. No matter how funny he is, the serpent inside is lurking just beneath the surface. When I saw this movie in the theater I had to marvel at just how dark the humor was willing to go, exemplified by Long John's manipulation of Sam the Eagle into being cast off in a rowboat in the middle of the ocean. There was a child in the theater who turned to his mom and asked "Did he die?" That's how good Tim Curry is, you can believe him to be capable of murdering a beloved Muppet.

And let's not forget the sophisticated acting of fifteen year old (looking like he's eleven) Kevin Bishop. His interactions with Gonzo and Rizzo are so genuine, I was convinced Bishop was actually Jim Henson's youngest child. And once he connects with Long John, every facial expression conveys that building of trust and pain of betrayal. Without really spelling it out, Bishop's Jim Hawkins is ultimately searching for that father figure and never quite finding it, even in Kermit's Captain Smollett. Instead what he gets from Smollett is the affirmation that he's come of age and has become his own father figure, which is an impressively deep theme.

There's not a problem with this movie, just a bit of an oddity in the fact that the Muppets almost get swallowed up in their own movie by the emotions of the human cast. The movie could conceivably have been titled Treasure Island (by the way with Muppets). They essentially serve as the comic relief to a story that could have felt a smidge too heavy handed for young kids. But the bottom line is, when the movie isn't being ominously true to its source material it really is a lot of fun to go sailing for adventure on the big blue wet thing.


3. Muppets Most Wanted (2014):


I was a bit surprised myself that this movie beat out Treasure Island for the number 3 spot. I'll explain why in a bit, but let me start by saying how funny this movie is. The jokes in The Muppets sometimes worked, and sometimes didn't, but Nicholas Stoller is in the zone here. The funny bits come fast and in bulk, almost on the level of the Abrahams-Zucker classics.

Some critics complained that the plot didn't come together with any coherency, but in truth it does just without taking the time to let you realize it. There's a lot going on in this movie and it may take a few tries to realize how carefully crafted it really is. My wife and I recommend the extended Blu-ray version if for no other reason than for the greatest obvious fourth wall joke ever.

Many of our classic characters have their personalities returned to them even if they still don't quite get the attention they deserve (Rowlf, Scooter, Sweetums). Sam the Eagle actually gets his own subplot with breakout performer Ty Burrell, and that's wonderful to see considering how often his character is neglected in other Muppet projects. Walter's voice of reason is also put to good use here, proving that the new guy has some welcomed staying power.

But let's talk about Constantine, who proves to be the MVP of this particular story arc. To work plot-wise all Constantine really had to do was not be Kermit, but luckily the production team doesn't stop there with him. His character is 'fleshed' out into a full-fledged villain. His failures at impersonating Kermit are hilarious, but he really comes to life when you see how much damage he's capable and willing to cause.

I'm not talking about explosions (because they're Muppets, they can withstand having pianos dropped on them) or theft of the crown jewels (because who cares?) but the psychological damage he's in a position to wreak on Kermit's blindly trusting compatriots. Miss Piggy finds herself in the most dangerous wake of it, and watching the movie for the first time I found myself really concerned for just how hurt she had the potential of being. I think at one point I even muttered "You son of a bitch" in the theater.

But it works, because like so many of the great Muppet movies, this one is about Kermit; who and what he is and isn't. While Tina Fey's Gulag guard Nadya doesn't quite develop the way you're hoping, her aggressive love of Kermit serves as a testament to the cynical adult world that still hopes for purity and innocence. And Kermit's ability to create a show out of the other Gulag's prisoners feels heroic.

My wife and I aren't the biggest Ricky Gervais fans, but he's great in his role as Dominic Badguy, the sympathetic criminal just sadly wanting recognition for his skillset. I imagine if Constantine had never been a part of the picture Kermit might have been persuaded to give Dominic a shot at the theater spotlight.

But here's why Muppets Most Wanted is in the number 3 spot. It feels like something happens in this movie that will have an affect on the Muppets from here on out in regards to Kermit and Piggy's rocky relationship. Piggy has pursued Kermit for decades, demanding he return her affections. In this movie she finally faces the sense of getting what she thinks she wants, and the conflict she feels about it causes her to grow. For the first time she seems like she's happy the way things are. And Kermit, as much as he waffles about non-work related feelings, suddenly finds himself possessive of Piggy in a way that is both exciting and unexpected.

And it all comes to a head when Kermit slaps Constantine for what he's done. Repeat, Kermit the Frog resorts to violence, and no part of me blames him. Now that's the work of a villain.


2. It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002):


As my wife says, "I feel like Jim is back."

Following Jim Henson's death we saw Kermit as Bob Cratchit, Kermit as Captain Smollett, and Kermit as a supporting player in a Gonzo movie. This was the first movie in eighteen years with Kermit as himself front and center of a Kermit centered movie, albeit a TV movie. Steve Whitmire knocks it out of the park.

Whitmire has become confident enough to take some real acting risks with Kermit. The emotions are intensified in Kirk Thatcher's wonderful movie. Kermit isn't just happy, he's ecstatic. He's not just angry, he's furious. He's not just sad, he's in despair.

In fact he's as close to suicidal as a Muppet is ever going to get. Being a rewrite of It's a Wonderful Life, writers Tom Martin and Jim Lewis neatly sidestep the pertinent plot point by having Kermit deliver an "I wish I'd never been born" rant, but the subtext is there and it's powerful to see the frog wrestle with it.

Pushing Kermit to the brink of his soul is Rachel Bitterman, played with short-fused delight by Joan Cusack who may very well have ad-libbed most of her performance. Bitterman may be a small woman in a tall body with a cartoonish glee about causing the Muppets misery, but when she pushes the knife into Kermit's heart she does it with so much conviction you almost start to agree with her. It's an electrifying scene. And this movie may be the hardest Kermit has ever had to work for a happy ending.

But on his side is Daniel, his guardian angel, played with a wellspring of sincerity by David Arquette. Daniel couldn't be more frightened, echoing Kermit's own insecurities about being in over his head, but like Kermit, Daniel has a strong sense of what is right even when there's no discernible pathway in that direction. It's in their collective ineffectualness and seeming lack of accomplishment that the magic bond between the Muppets and the Christmas season finds its voice.

It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie also marks the feature debut of Muppeteer Eric Jacobson, whose Fozzie is admittedly still finding his footing. Jacobson's Piggy on the other hand comes out swinging, and the chemistry between the pig and the frog is on a whole new level. To put it bluntly, Frank Oz, for all of his brilliance as a Muppeteer, seemed afraid of Miss Piggy's feminine side, while Eric Jacobson embraces it. The karate is still there, but she doesn't resort to it as a shield for her own emotions anymore. Piggy has always carried pain with her, but this movie is where she really starts to own it instead of projecting it. The journey is fascinating to watch unfold.


1. The Muppet Movie (1979):


Was there ever going to be another option?

It's not a question of if the original is the insurmountable apex of Muppet cinema, but why. Let's start with Austin Pendleton, who played the well-meaning Muppet of a man Max. Pendleton admitted that the filming of the movie was truly unpleasant. Jim Frawley was a talented director but he wasn't part of the Muppet family, and he evidently didn't want to direct the movie. When you also factor in the puppetry techniques that were being developed for this movie hadn't been tried before, the mood on the set must have been really stressful. Jim Henson spent an entire day in a 50 gallon drum submerged in a swamp.

But none of that shows up in the final product. The road trip plot come off as nothing short of magical as the familiar TV characters demonstrate a level of wisdom and soul (and feet) that they hadn't before. This movie changed the Muppets forever, demonstrating that they were larger than television would allow them to be; in essence, this was the shedding of a skin. From the single most emotional banjo riff to the final shot of the family portrait, this movie is about reaching for the stars and surprising yourself when you find them in your hand.

And the songs. My God. Have you ever just read the lyrics to The Rainbow Connection without pretending your arm is being controlled by a rod? It's ambiguously poetic. Each song packs a punch as strongly as the best of Disney's music library. And then there's Gonzo's song, the one that I sang at my mother's funeral because nothing else would suffice. I can't think of another soundtrack that succeeds at being so deeply philosophical.

The Muppets are, and always will be, more human than human; more discerning of what's really important; more guiding of moral principles than just about anything one's inner child can wrap its developing mind around. Nowhere is this more fully realized than the original 1979 triumph.

"De flim is okeydokey!" -a true artist

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