Say you're James Bond; well you don't have to say it, just pretend. Now imagine it's your off day. You've slept in a bit, watched some cartoons, maybe filled out half of a crossword puzzle. Now you hear the mail truck outside. You wait a few minutes so as to not appear too eager. You step outside. And your theme song starts playing. dunnn...Dunnn...DUNNN...Dunnn; you know how it goes. The sense of something cool about to happen. You get to the end of the driveway. And right on cue as you open the box. Ba Da! DA DAAAA! Da da dahhhh! And there it is! The most awesome water bill in the history of utilities!
The right theme song can allow a character to transcend their medium. It's true for all genres, but horror is a unique case where a baddie's music can actually serve as a placeholder, signifying their proximity to the audience when nobody on screen is meant to be aware of them. Many of these themes are so iconic that they appear on Halloween soundtracks with no real context, and they still work.
I've seen a few sites listing the best horror film theme songs and I thought I might try my own hand at it. I'm putting a few requirements on the songs I'm choosing, not the least of which is the song has to be specifically associated with a threat, so hero songs like Scooby-Doo are out. I also think they need to be traceable back to a single character or basic concept, so things like The Twilight Zone or The X-Files don't qualify. And I think the music needs to evoke some sense of fear, or at least unease. Darth Vader has a great theme, but it's more likely to get you pumped up than covering your eyes. Most of my selections are going to be predictable, but hopefully you'll see a surprise appearance or two.
Here then are my top thirteen picks for villain theme songs.
13. One, Two, Freddy's Coming For You (Freddy Krueger)
The first three entries are going to be kind of the runners-up. The reason why this one is way down at the bottom is because it's the only song on this list that relies on lyrics. Children are inherently self-centered, and it's not too much of a leap to transform a jump rope rhyme into a sociopathic chant. The message here is, you're going to die and nobody is going to help you. It's creepy, but it's also quite obviously trying to be creepy. I think we might see a better example of this concept closer to the top spot.
12. Why So Serious? (The Joker)
It's a nine minute piece on the soundtrack to The Dark Knight, but I'm mainly referring to the fundraiser scene. Composer Hans Zimmer uses a variety of instruments to create a discordant buzzing sound that feels like strings tightening until their absolute breaking point. I might have placed this slightly higher if it were from a horror film, but it's quite effective nonetheless.
11. Friday the 13th Theme (Jason Voorhees)
Apparently it's composer Harry Manfredini's own voice doing the iconic "ki ki ki ki ki...ma ma ma ma ma" himself (and no, that doesn't count as lyrics, it's vocal percussion. So there). It's primal, and instantly recreatable who wants to frighten/annoy their younger sibling, but it's not particularly versatile. It's like the chorus of "Who Let the Dogs Out", there's nowhere to go once the initial point has been made.
10. A Night on Bald Mountain (Chernabog)
Now admittedly the Modest Mussorgsky piece was 73 years old before the big guy appeared on the screen in 1940's Fantasia, but you really can't hear the melody without thinking of Disney's version of the devil (with apologies to Slavic mythology). While this is probably the most complex piece of music on this list, it ranks at number ten because of how easy it is to avoid the underlying threat. As long as you're not already dead, or Sora, or some schmuck trying to scale Bald Mountain at night, old Cherry really isn't going to be much of a problem for you.
9. Hello Zepp (Jigsaw)
One of the most recent entries on this list, Charlie Clouser's piece of incidental music appears 38 times throughout the first seven movies. Most horror themes indicate something bad is about to happen. This one means you're already screwed, probably for forgetting to wind your watch or losing your towel or not donating to UNICEF. Funny thing though, this song has not stayed in my head. If you play it, I'll immediately recognize the franchise. But for the life of me I can't remember how it goes.
8. Toccata and Fugue in D minor/The Phantom of the Opera (The Phantom of the Opera)
Yeah, I'm cheating here by using two songs for one guy. Johann Sebastian Bach's Toccata and Fugue has been associated with gothic horror as early as 1931's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It wasn't until the 1962 Hammer Film version of Phantom (starring Herbert Lom in the title role) that the piece became attached to the iconic masked organist. But ever since 1986, you can't mention the Phantom of the Opera without also thinking of the Andrew Lloyd Weber (and arguably Pink Floyd) composition of the same name. In the end, I can't really choose which one is the better representation of Erik Opera Ghost. The Bach is probably the song he's most likely to play on the organ, while the Lloyd Weber is what runs through his head; both being exceptionalism in isolation.
7. The Psycho Theme (Norman Bates)
Better known as Bernard Herrmann's Fingernails on Chalkboard for String Orchestra in E flat, this is music's most famous jump scare. On the downside, it's impossible to really experience the shock of this scene the way it was intended. Maybe you haven't even watched Psycho, but you've most definitely seen the sequence on A&E or a Youtube video, or any number of imitations (Gus Van Sant managed to muck it up). It's unavoidable. But it doesn't mean you can't appreciate the craftsmanship behind the slow setup. It's in your head right now, isn't it?
6. Something Lacking (Daniella)
I bet you have no idea what I'm talking about. I've slipped in one video game character, because this one is just amazing enough to compete with the big kids. Capcom's Haunting Ground (with music from composers Seiko Kobuchi and Shinya Okada) is a survival-horror game featuring Daniella as the second of four stalkers you have to evade. She moves like a malfunctioning robot, with her head and body bent at asymmetrical angles, and her theme reflects the whole concept of breaking down. "Something Lacking" is one of the most discordant pieces I've ever heard. While most songs on this list provoke feelings of dread or suspense, this is genuine terror. Run, you fool!
5. The Myth (lycanthropy)
Top five, and now it gets harder. I don't actually care that much for the 1982 film Cat People because I can't sympathize with their plight. The deal is, whenever they have sex they transform into panthers, and then they have to kill (usually whoever they had sex with) to change back. You know, there's a pretty obvious solution? It just involves, like, getting over it. But whatever. "The Myth" is the instrumental version of "Putting Out Fire", with David Bowie's hypnotic baritone voice humming the melody. Something ominous lurking beneath the surface. Waiting.
4. Main Title (Bruce the shark)
Contrary to popular belief, the Jaws theme isn't just two notes, but you can certainly recognize it from said pairing. John Williams may not ever be placed on Felix Mendelssohn's level, but he knows how to score a film soundtrack better than anyone. Courtesy of a troubled production, his "Main Title" had to fill in for the animatronic shark in a majority of scenes. Boy, is it effective. The music not only signifies the presence of the shark, but how fast it's closing in. "Today's secret word is 'tension'. Whenever you hear it, scream real loud!"
3. Halloween Theme (Michael Myers)
The 1978 film had a budget of about three hundred thousand dollars (the average cost today of a family night out at the movies). Probably to save a few bucks, director/writer John Carpenter composed the soundtrack himself; gracing us with "Halloween Theme", the unofficial theme of the actual holiday. An odd 10/8 meter, and rapid piano keys that mimic a typewriter, "Halloween Theme" is eerie. Don't believe me? Program it as your ringtone and leave your phone in the workroom. I guarantee you'll get some nasty e-mails from around the office.
2. Carol Anne's Theme (the spirits)
I am honestly surprised this one from 1982's Poltergeist never shows up on the scary music lists. You can thank Jerry Goldsmith for this gem. It sounds like a music box lullaby, which has always had a certain something-not-quite-right feel, and when it plays in the first act of the film over various Spielbergian shots of E.T.'s neighborhood you naturally fall victim to a false sense of family friendly security. And then the movie happens. One killer tree, some pool corpses, an extended sexual assault up the wall and across the ceiling, and a count of strangulation from a human sized stuffed clown doll (that they really should have known better than to have staring at the children while they try to sleep) later; this lullaby is perpetually menacing.
1. Tubular Bells (Pazazu)
Amazingly, the 1973 Mike Oldfield album was never written with the "scariest film of all time" in mind, or anything else for that matter. Like most creative people at their purest (in this case, nineteen years old) Oldfield was only following his muse, composing music for the sake of itself. Around the same time of the album's release, notoriously short-tempered director William Friedkin dramatically rejected the musical score for his romantic-comedy-that-took-a-wrong-turn-somewhere The Exorcist, and happened upon the Oldfield recording. Thus a legend was born.
So why does it work so well, and why is it at the top of my list? To answer the second question first, shut up. But more to the point, it involves the kind of abstract journey on which music can take you. I'm far from a music theorist, but minor keys can evoke emotions in an audience without ever indicating (or having to) why. In the case of "Tubular Bells", you naturally sense trepidation. Something is coming. Even if it's not as violent as a demonic possession, it's clearly something unsettling. And if you listen to this song while you're alone, you may find yourself glancing over your shoulder at the window or the closet door.
And when you factor in the percussive quality of bells, i.e. something striking something else, there's a subtle element of violence behind the music. Oldfield allegedly cracked some of the bells in the recording by hitting them too hard, and every added clang makes itself known. There's a musical passage that repeats like approaching footsteps, and a chaotic randomness that accompanies it. But unlike a more comedic counterpart, such as a Spike Jones song that welcomes you to the circus tent, "Tubular Bells" convinces you that it's your only floodgate between safety and...God only knows what. This is the scariest song here, maybe ever, because it can't fully be understood. That's why it's at the top of the list.
Good night.
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