Man, I didn't realize I'd be writing four thousand words in the opening post of this project. Thanks for bearing with me. Welcome to part 2.
Polka Party!
So as I mentioned in the last post, there was pressure from the record label, and probably whatever fan contact Al was having, to speed release a new album every year. I remember in 1986 I hadn't heard anything new from Weird Al in MONTHS and was avidly checking the record store every chance I got. And then like magic, one day with no warning the album Polka Party! appeared on the rack, and I snagged it up expecting the next Dare to be Stupid.
Now let me repeat: comedy needs time to bloom. Don't believe me? Go catch a matinee of the next Not Another Scary Spartan Date Movie movie and tell me you're feeling anything other than "Well, there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again."
This to say, I saw on the Behind the Music special on Weird Al (obviously on Weird Al, duh doy) that the band truly felt as if they had produced the best album they could under the time restraints. I'm inclined to agree. There actually is some great stuff on here. So keeping in mind a 'special circumstance' situation, I'm going to forego the penalty of fewer than twelve songs for this album.
Side 1
Living With a Hernia: This flagship song is a bit of an oddity. James Brown's Living in America was certainly well recognized but it wasn't exactly the 'in thing' in pop culture. Imagining Al's parody on paper, this doesn't really seem like an idea that will come together. But somehow through sheer gusto and a passable James Brown impression the end result proves to be much better than one could ever have expected.
Dog Eat Dog: This is a diamond in the rough. Al doing Talking Heads was meant to be; he's clearly having fun with this one and you can just feel the energy from it. Dog Eat Dog is as bizarre as it is down to earth, and definitely tops my list of Weird Al's style parodies.
Addicted to Spuds: In my experience, people who wouldn't immediately strike me as Al fans remember this song, which is another oddity considering it's from his worst selling album. I once sang this at karaoke in a room full of strangers, and to my astonishment every one of them was joining me on the chorus. Maybe it's the simplicity which makes it so easy to connect with.
Just One of Those Days: Now we come to the Midnight Star of the album, and it's one of the more forgettable songs in Al's portfolio. In fact, this is the oldest Weird Al song that I'm unable to sing the chorus of because it just doesn't leave an impression on my long-term memory. Mel Brooks once said that the quickest way to kill comedy is to try to be funny. I think he's right, even if he didn't always take his own advice. Al is trying to be funny with the song lyrics. And...nothing.
Polka Party!: This is a short polka medley, but it's a good one, my third favorite. Easily it's the most hyperactive polka from start to finish and it just feels like the second half of a Tex Avery cartoon where the character who has been taking the abuse finally starts to fight back until the whole opera house has erupted into a mass pie fight. If you've never given this album a chance I'd say at least track down this song for your polka medley playlist (you know you have one).
Side 2
Here's Johnny: Like the albums preceding it Polka Party! takes a bit of a downgrade in quality on side 2. The lead parody isn't bad, it's just okay, based on a just okay original song and using a just okay motif. I don't know why a passionate song about food is funnier than a passionate song about a television personality, but for whatever reason we're starting this side in 'meh' territory.
Don't Wear Those Shoes: I loved this song as a kid, but I have to concede that it's just not in the same league as Mr. Popeil. You can sense that Al is trying really hard to pull the album out of the muck, but he's scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas. Again, it's not bad, but we're in hardcore mediocre territory now. You know, one solid parody could conceivably rescue this whole album. But it's not going to happen.
Toothless People: Did you know Weird Al did a parody of a Mick Jagger song? Yeah, this was a miss all around. I hate saying this, but the song is immature, basically mocking the elderly (always a million laughs). Al kind of got locked into doing this parody when he asked Jagger for permission before seeing how the song did on the charts. So kids, the moral here is, never do that.
Good Enough for Now: Here's an idea that almost came together. It's essentially a one note concept about settling for the one you're with, and if it didn't sound so generic it might actually have been a silver lining. It's fine as is. But, you know.
Christmas at Ground Zero: So how do you get out of an album like this? Are you familiar with the classic Marx Brothers film A Night at the Opera? Well dammit, you should be! The most famous sequence involved the brothers and faux Zeppo crammed into a tiny stateroom while a continuous line of people keep showing up, each with a different reason for needing to come inside. There's a fascinating moment where Groucho stops protesting the intrusions and starts encouraging them, presumably because he just wants to see the situation blow up. That may very well have been Al's mentality when he ended the album on this song. Understanding of course that this song was referring to the definition of 'ground zero' prior to the 9/11 attack, there's something charming about the horror of it; reminiscent of Dr. Strangelove.
Conclusion:
Look, I'm just going to rattle off the scores in order. 3,3,3,1,3,2,2,1,2,3. 23 out of 30 or a 77. C (based on a grace curve, it would have been a D if I'd factored in the lack of two songs.
But before we move on I just want to defend the album one last time. Comedy is harder than any other genre of entertainment. Expectations are higher and the payoff is significantly more unstable. This may be one of Al's least good albums but I guarantee if I pit it against We Can't Dance by Genesis using the same criteria, this album would take it down.
Even Worse
There’s actually something kind of fascinating about the symmetry with Al’s two Michael Jackson parodies. Eat it happened to catch the Jackson wave just as he was peaking as a performer, while Fat happened to catch the wave just as he began to fall. Jackson had been notably supportive of Al’s career, even donating the replica of the set he had shot his video for Bad on to Al’s Grammy winning parody video. Sadly, this would be pretty much the last time we’d be able to laugh with Michael Jackson as the pop icon became progressively more lost in his own self-perception.
Side 1
Fat: But enough about that. How does this stream of fat jokes hold up in the post-PC world? I’m not entirely sure. Musically it’s spot on, and it sounds amazing when Al performs it live. The one-liners certainly work. Even the overweight dancers Al had in his video seemed to respond to the song as if it were ultimately harmless. I’d like to think that the majority of overweight people find the song funny, maybe even empowering since I believe that was the intention. The song still works today as well as it did in the 80’s and I have yet to hear anyone say that their feelings were hurt by the lyrics, so I’ll give it a reasonably confident vote of approval.
Stuck in a Closet with Vanna White: I always like it when Al goes into hard rock territory. His ‘scream’ voice may not have the power of Lou Gramm, but he definitely has a range on him. While the song is a smidge too abstract to be a Midnight Star (Fat was a bit closer in nature) it does seem like a spiritual cousin.
(This Song’s Just) Six Words Long: Yes, we all know when Al sings the line it’s actually seven words. Get over it, nobody likes a Benedict (guess the reference for two points). It’s such a shame that no video came out of this song. Unless I’m overlooking something, this is probably Al’s first song to break the fourth wall. Exciting territory indeed.
You Make Me: Another abstract one like Stuck in a Closet. Not ‘ha ha’ funny but eponymously weird, and catchy as anything. And another fantastic live show song. As an audience member I felt like he was singing to us. Well, he was, obviously, but, like, about us, to us. You know what? Just shut up.
I Think I’m a Clone Now: So. Tiffany. Did you look her up? She showed up in the 80’s to audition for the role of Debbie Gibson. She remade late 60’s “Tommy James and the Shondells” song which hit #1 on the Billboard top 100 and gave Weird Al a really great parody for his Even Worse album. Boy, how often does something like that happen?
Side 2
Lasagna: This had to be a dream for Al, a popular song that didn’t require anyone’s permission. This song is made all the more unique by the musical restyling. I wonder if anybody’s used this song for a flash mob assault at Olive Garden.
Melanie: I guess by this point the album was just too family friendly. As such, we’re presented with the passionate lament by which all other stalking/suicide songs are measured. Dark humor is always a risk for a comedian, and most of the time you’d expect Al to place a song like this at the end of the album. Wisely, he chose to showcase it between two strong parodies, making it sort of the oddity on many fans’ ‘favorites’ compilations.
Alimony: Billy Idol. It’s so hard to take him seriously with that stage name even in the 80’s, but the guy had that Alice Cooper-like voice and a really timeless rock sound to where you can’t help but remember good ol’ William Michael Albert Broad with fondness. He remade late 60’s “Tommy James and the Shondells” song which hit #1 on the Billboard top 100 and gave Weird Al a really great parody for his Even Wor –wait, what? Did I just wander into Punxsutawney?
Velvet Elvis: Ugh. We were doing so well on this album. This song doesn’t feel inspired, it feels forced. This is like a really good open mic night that comes to an awkward lull when that one kid takes the stage to ramble about his relatives. Part of the problem is the song style. With the exception of Every Breath You Take, I’ve only been able to find The Police tolerable at best. But the other problem is that the song lyrics just aren’t interesting.
Twister: This is cool. It’s nice and short for when you’re just trying to fill up that cassette tape. It’s not really funny. I don’t know, did Milton Bradley pay for a commercial on this album? This might have worked better as the opening track for side 2, just to get it out of the way. In the spot where it is, it’s just giving me time to wonder where my damn polka medley is.
Good Old Days: Ye gods. I get what he’s going for here, and I’ll give him credit for trying to redirect sociopathic behavior through the easy listening style of James Taylor, but it just misses the mark somehow. And owing to the fact that Melanie hit the bullseye three songs prior, this song feels really unneeded. Comparing this to several of Tom Lehrer’s darker songs (I Hold Your Hand in Mine, My Home Town) Lehrer comes across as if he’s assaulting the musical genre, whereas Al seems to be trying to have it both ways; satirical and respectful. It just doesn’t work.
Conclusion:
The first eight songs get full credit, 24 points. 1 for Velvet Elvis, 2 for Twister and 1 for Good Old Days. 28 out of 33 which gives a score of 85, minus 3 overall points for the lack of a twelfth song (the polka no less *smite with a ball peen hammer*) bringing the total to 82, or a B.
UHF - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack and Other Stuff
Or UOMPSAOS for short. Hey! That anagrams into SUMO SOAP! Dibs!
Riding the second wave of creativity generated by the commercial and critical success of Even Worse, Al and his manager Jay Levey decided this would be the perfect time to produce a Weird Al movie. Of course backing studio Orion decided the middle of the most competitive blockbuster summer in history would be the perfect time to release said movie. I'm proud to say I saw UHF in the theaters three times and I only saw Batman once.
But SUMO SOAP is a wildcard in Al's discography. If we treat it as the soundtrack album it claims to be, then there's a scant soundtrack with a lot of really awesome bonus material, in fact I don't think there's a weak song on the album. But if we take as hard a look at it as any of Weird Al's albums we might get a more interesting result.
It's worth noting that SUMO SOAP was briefly released as a two sided album, but I think most of us bought it as a cd. So with that in mind, from here on out I'm placing a moratorium on the Side 1/Side 2 tags. A moment of silence please.
Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies: There's an interesting reason as to why this song has this title, and if you ask really nicely I'll let you go online to look it up for yourself. So I came down fairly hard on The Brady Bunch for being little more than a rehash of the TV show's theme lyrics, but I'm allowing a free pass for this song because of context. In the movie, Al's character George Newman starts drifting into one of his daydream sequences and imagines himself singing The Beverly Hillbillies theme song to the tune of Money for Nothing, and the scene is electrifying. The bizarre layering of the song is that George Newman is not actually Weird Al (even though they have identical wardrobes). Al is essentially playing George Newman imagining himself as Weird Al. I find the surrealism applause worthy. Now admittedly if this song were presented as is on any other album I would be more critical, but this is a soundtrack album so the criticism is irrelevant.
Gandhi II: Now the same can't be said for the sequences lifted from the movie that simply don't translate well to audio. Like so much of the movie, the humor of the Gandhi II scene is primarily visual, and as such this winds up being an easily skipable track.
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a Planet Near Mars: Perhaps this should have been the companion piece to Slime Creatures from Outer Space. The song is fun and catchy, and depending on your level of flexibility you can use this one as a track on your Halloween playlist.
Isle Thing: Now this is how you do a parody song about a TV show. Al hadn't quite found his 'rap voice' yet but it doesn't detract from the satirical summation of every episode of Gilligan's Island.
The Hot Rocks Polka: If you told me that Al's next polka was going to be a medley of songs all from the same band I would get a little grumpy, but this collage of The Rolling Stones comes together seamlessly. And the buildup at the end to Satisfaction is actually exciting. Al listened to his own instinct and it paid off.
UHF: This song is great. The first time I saw UHF I refused to leave the theater because I found the beat so infectious. Some people claim that this is a style parody of State of Shock by The Jacksons and featuring Mick Jagger. That may be true, but the end result takes on a life of its own, and just makes me really passionate about watching television.
Let Me Be Your Hog: Okay, does this deserve full credit as a song? Yeah, it's funny, but it's sixteen seconds. I think when I grade this album I'm going to have to call it as a missing song. Sorry guys.
She Drives Like Crazy: The inspiration for some parodies like Eat It, seem to just fall into Al's lap, while others like Theme from Rocky XIII clearly take a little more brute force to make work. Then there's this one, which always struck me as one of Al's most clever catches in terms of songs that lend themselves well for his purposes. Even though his falsetto/Kermit the Frog vocalizations don't necessarily produce the best results She Drives Like Crazy is so well written that I can't really complain.
Generic Blues: This song is so funny that it almost ends the blues genre. Ever since One More Minute I'd been hoping beyond hope for a song that would top it. And while Generic Blues doesn't quite get there, it comes pretty damn close.
Spatula City: Unlike Gandhi II, this sound clip from UHF does translate pretty well into audio format. But it's still not technically a song, and I can't think of a time I've ever voluntarily included this on a Weird Al mix tape to listen to in the car. I'm probably splitting hairs, but I'd rather experience this sketch while watching the movie. I'll figure out how to grade it later.
Fun Zone: Weird Al's only instrumental piece, and it still feels like genuine Weird Al. I'm really glad this song exists. There's no better way to signal that Al's live concert is about to start than hearing this gem pouring through the speakers.
Spam: Yes. Is there a food in existence more deserving of Weird Al's treatment than spam? And the result is a thing of beauty. It starts with one of R.E.M.'s sillier songs gives it an absurd premise, and then continues to build it to the point of magnificence. All that's missing is a stoic Eric Idle in a harness and a bunch of Vikings.
The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota: This song was once considered Weird Al's epic before Albuquerque. Considering how comedy tends to be destructive in its natural state, it really is wonderful to have this song, which is so infectiously optimistic that you can't help but feel alive by the final chorus. Al has had funnier songs to end his albums with, but I don't think there's ever been one quite so inspiring.
Conclusion:
So we actually have thirteen tracks on this album, but I really think of Let Me Be Your Hog as a fun bonus feature. So, here's what I'm going to do. Every real song including Fun Zone get full credit. I'm treating Gandhi II and Spatula City as a single track and only granting 2 points, which amounts to 32 out of 33 points, or a total score of 97. We're now missing a track, but because of Let Me Be Your Hog I'm only going to take off 2 points instead of the full 3, bringing SUMO SOAP up to 95, an A. Kungaloosh!
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