Editorial: On Writing Song Parody (With Special Thanks to Ricky Martin)

Parody is often misunderstood as a form of writing. It's critics tend to treat it as nothing more than 'changing somebody else's work' for the presumable intention of stealing their thunder. While I can't deny that's technically correct, parody has a much broader spectrum of quality.

Case in point, you must be familiar with this little virus:

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile
Lost a wheel
And the Joker got away

This of course an unquestionable parody, albeit a stupid one. 'Egg' and 'away' don't rhyme, and the jump from the opening Christmas carol line to the content about Batman has no internal logic. It's a safe bet that the originator of this recess yard rhyme made it up on the spot and presented the first draft as-is to the first elementary school audience, where it lived on in infamy.

Now in terms of lowbrow humor, this parody is far from the lowest brow, but it's clearly meant for simple minds. Unfortunately, a lot of people think ALL parody caters to this mentality. I want to try to challenge that notion some.

I've written several parodies that I'm quite proud of. If you're interested, check out my ode to the board game Monopoly set to Uncle Cracker's "Follow Me". Or if you're a bit of a literature snob, try my parody of William Blake's The Tyger. Better yet, here's parody in it's most simplistic form, a renaming the elements of the periodic table a la Zork.

I'm going to pretend you're reading this blog because you have an interest in writing a Weird Al-esc parody yourself, and want it to be good (either that, or you're my wife and thus obligated to keep dishing out those sweet, encouraging words of 'no seriously, honey, your blog really is interesting').

So let's talk about what makes a parody 'good' as opposed to the sloppy Batman example above. First off, when I say 'good' I don't mean funny. Funny is almost always associated with parody, but funny is also entirely at the mercy of the audience. If I tell you my sinuses are killing me, for some strange sadistic reason you might find that incredibly funny. I sure as hell don't. It isn't funny to me. But it may be funny to you. So funny isn't the best measurement for a parody.

A better one is the parody's effectiveness. How well does the parody work? If you're taking the time to devise a parody, it means you've got something to say. It may be as simple as complaining about socks, but that's what you feel like writing lyrics about. Now socks may not merit writing a song from scratch, but if you're going to use a pre-existing template (ideally a familiar one to a general audience) then you have an outlet you didn't have before.

At work, I'm in charge of the fiction department's shelf-reading list (don't ask, just accept it). Part of the task is assigning sections to my co-workers, and then motivating them to actually do it. I find my best tool is my sense of sarcasm that naturally shows up in my writing. Lately I've been giving over-the-top pep talks as if shelf-reading is an Olympic event and they're competitors. My most recent e-mail ended with this:

Best of luck team!

Now let's sing the Fiction National Anthem:

Should holds on paging lists be sought
And tomes, a mended spine
We circulate the recent plot
And plug the story line

Now I'm going to be very disappointed if I have to point out that this is a parody of Auld Lang Syne. But let's discuss the quality of this parody and determine what makes it good, not great, but good (enough). Lyrically, it's not laugh out loud funny. Maaaaybe amusing at best. I'm fully aware that plot and story line are the same thing. But the fundamentals for good parody are there.

1. It rhymes where it HAS to (i.e. at the ends of lines)
2. It accurately matches the rhythm of its source template
3. It has an internal logic

The first two are obvious. The third one is equally important and often overlooked amongst people who 'think' parody writing is easy. You may not be familiar with Auld Lang Syne, and you may not be familiar with paging lists or the word 'circulate' as it pertains to libraries but you get the general sense that this is written for an audience who deals with books from a behind-the-counter perspective. There are no lines that seem out of place.

That's the basic foundation, but let's explore a little deeper. If you happen to know Auld Lang Syne you can recognize that the ending rhymes for lines 1,3 and 2,4 don't just rhyme with each other, but also from the corresponding lines in the source template. The original song starts with the word 'should' as is mirrored by the parody. There's even a couple of intentionally similar vowel sounds in the middle of phrases.

"Should OLD acQUAINTance be forGOT"
"Should HOLDS on PAGing lists be SOUGHT"

What does that tell you, aside from I really have too much free time at work? It means that there was a certain amount of effort that went into these four lines. Not a massive amount of effort, but clearly I batted the lines around a few times in my head before saying "Okay, that works". And there is what I perceive to be the illusive fourth rule that separates a Weird Al parody from a lot of the quickie stuff you find on Youtube.

4. It indicates genuine effort

That Uncle Cracker parody from earlier? I started kicking that idea around years ago. I'd mull it over some, then set it down, come back later and even write some of the lines down, then push it away again. Then one day I decided I was going to finish the damn thing and post it in my blog. It took me a few hours one night and a few more the next day, pulling up information on Monopoly and poring through rhymezone.com to beat it into a working draft. A few tweaks here and there, and now it's finished. And I'm quite proud of it.

So with that dissertation over, here is another parody that I started working on about a decade ago and only just finished. This is Ricky Martin's Livin La Vida Loca with embellishments from a former Disney cast member who spent five years trying to claw his way out of the parades department and back into his warm, cozy bid line at the previously named Disney/MGM Studios. I HATED SpectroMagic (the night parade). I hated driving it. I hated spotting the floats. I hated dressing other cast members for it. But more than anything, I hated getting thrown into a Spectroman costume and strapped onto the back of the Logo float to pretend I was trained in the armography.

Suffering is pure arsenal for comedy.

Giving Me Grief on Logo

She needs-a quick solution

A pink shirt and a tower crane

I'm not in-to electrocution

Pray to God that it doesn't rain

(break)

It's too bad-I lack the vision

Could cure-my fear of heights

Can't see-the neat collision

With everything in lights.

'Cause I'm a mobilized hibachi

There's a brace in my regime

I pass for Liberace*

Dressed as the psychopath from Scream

And my head just filled with steam

Come on!

Ostrich Escort's downed and music maker's a no-go

A pawn is getting crowned. They need me to do back logo

I change at Lost and Found to a battery pack and a gobo**

(and bid) Farewell to the ground. They need me to do back logo

They'll teach*** me to do back logo

Impeach me to do back logo

(instrumental break)

Broke down at the street confection

Did the loop- a dozen ways

I struck a chord and I lost connection

I may have set-the float ablaze

Well there's a kid my purple wig offends

Who's sobbing to his dad

And all at once I'm pulling ligaments

I never knew I had

Should have stuck with Hook & Ladd

Oh no!

Draped in silhouette, I'm Porky from I Go Pogo

Or "Look, it's Jango Fett! He's up in the seat on logo!"

My clothes are drenched in sweat, and I'm feeling the burden of Frodo

(it'd be) grounds to down a set but not when you're in back logo

You're shot when you're in back logo

I forgot why I hate back logo

(instrumental break revisited)

Meadow Lane was close but no cigar

Got passed by cavalcade

And I didn't sign my ETR

Not even getting paid

Why'd I learn this damn parade?

Come on!

(Will we) Ever get off route? Where in the hell did the tow go?
To push or pull us out, or ram in the back of logo
And staging's not about. Who said I was scheduled Geppetto?
I'll slap that casting scout for giving me grief on logo

Topside concert band, where the discipline action's a BOGO;
A two point reprimand for my scathing critique of logo
My face is in my hand. Try to block out the flashing photo
I'll never understand why I'm getting my freak on logo
And I'm having a streak of logo
When I'm scheduled a week of logo
And I'm gonna try to get an RDO

Come on!

I'm locking my knees on logo
With Mickey on the street no one SEES back logo
I'm gonna catch a logo disease


*If you're familiar with the original song, you'll notice I chose to include internal rhymes here where they didn't exist before. See? Effort.
**Do you know how many usable words rhyme with 'logo'? Not many. As a compromise, I allowed myself a cheat on the third line of every chorus, which is the weakest in a four line passage. If you're going to fudge, that's where to do it.
***'Need' and 'teach' make another rhyme cheat, but since this is an internal rhyme it's permissible. The trick here is figuring out the balance between preserving the mathematical integrity of the lyrics and maintaining the strength of content.