Have you noticed that everything is coming up Batman lately? Somewhere in the midst of Suicide Squad, The Killing Joke, previews to The Justice League and The Lego Batman Movie, and the release of Batman v Superman it seems costume shops are going to have a run on the cape and cowl this October.
I saw Suicide Squad over the weekend, and I quite enjoyed it despite the ongoing list of things wrong with it. It honestly boiled down to Harley Quinn. As long as they got her right (enough) just about any other issue, or series of, could be forgiven. And fortunately they got her right (enough).
The rest of the film was kind of silly, and kind of imbalanced regarding pace. The story was more of an excuse than a plot line. Will Smith: Great! Viola Davis: Awesome! Jared Leto: whatever. And then there was Margot Robbie who dazzled as Harley. The rest of the ensemble was hit and miss with no real bulls-eyes, although I have to stress it was no fault of the cast members themselves. Overall, it was pretty good. Yes, DC is getting to the extended universe party late and it shows, but they really are trying. And I really keep rooting for them.
I also saw Batman: Under the Red Hood this week, which was impressively dark and poignant. It didn't really feel like the dream team of voice actors, but the writing was so good that it got me thinking. How many Batman stories are there out there that really matter? There's all of the origin stories; the death of the Waynes, the death of the Graysons, the birth of the Joker, the death of Jason Todd, the crippling of Barbara Gordon, the team-up with Scooby-Doo, etc. But how many stories exist beyond those that have any kind of effect on...really anything?
No matter how many buildings blow up or television audiences die on live television, crime runs consistently, rich people go to parties, and Arkham security continues to be hackable with a wad of chewing gum. Batman doesn't really seem to accomplish anything except restoring the status quo. No matter how many times the Joker's face gets blown off, there will always be some very farfetched reason to revive him. And no matter how crammed into a corner the writer's stuff themselves, there is always a cosmic reset button waiting to reset Gotham back to slightly pre-boy wonder age.
I blame everyone but me. I can accept that the Batman formula works in a way that Superman struggles, because Gotham's savior serves as a metaphor for the determination we all want to be capable of. Just like the Joker reflects our own collective sadistic nihilistic desires, free of consequence. But Holy Dead Horse Batman! There's got to be something else to do in Gotham that actually feels like progress. I say we kill the Batman.
Now I'm not suggesting killing Bruce Wayne, I'm saying he probably needs to spend some time in Arkham as a patient. One, to understand how useless the system is. Two, to figure out a better way of rehabilitation. And three, to come to terms with the fact that Batman only treats Gotham's symptoms while aggravating the underlying problem. And while he's away, let's see what we can do with some of the more prominent members of his rogue's gallery. Maybe we can prove we won't need Batman after all.
Poison Ivy
Like so many of the better villains, you can see valid point Pamela Isley is starting from. Humans have gotten careless with the environment, and the Lorax hasn't shown his orange face in ages. Isley has appointed herself the mother of all plants. Now the problem is that she's too high on the power she feels to comprehend the balance of ecology. She also views all plants as helpless innocent living things, which is an impressive oversight coming from a doctor of botany. Plants are even more aggressive than animals, strangling each other for territory. They just do it at a slower rate.
What to do with her:
Climate change is a growing issue, no matter what FOX news says. Someone as talented as Dr. Isley could accomplish some amazing advances in the fields of environment preservation, as well as medicine. Getting her to understand that is the challenge.
Harley Quinn
Harley was the face of 90's Batman. Before her it was a simple equation: Bat versus clown. Harley came in partially by accident and wound up reminding the Bat what sympathy felt like, as well as humanizing the Joker in as much as he's capable of being. Harley ushered in the gray area, and inhuman monsters like Ivy and Professor Crane have been known to take a liking to her.
What to do with her:
First, get her the hell away from the Joker for good. Second, get her some friends who can keep her reasonably grounded. DC Superhero Girls has her rooming with Wonder Woman, and her current graphic novel series gave her a close bond with Power Girl. Those kinds of relationships are good for Harley, and when she's at her best she tends to bring out the best in other villains. Gotham needs a symbol to get behind. Let Harley be the face of Gotham 2.0.
The Joker
You know who the Joker is. Doesn't there come a point where a character is responsible for so much mass murder that they're just no longer worth telling stories about? I feel like everything that can be done with the Joker has been done already. Mark Hamill perfected him. Heath Ledger deconstructed him. And I'm really tired of seeing the character fall from high places.
What to do with him:
Screw the Joker. He should have been executed or assassinated long ago. Catwoman, Wonder Woman, Mr. Freeze, it doesn't matter. There is no in-universe justification for his continued existence. "But the fans-" need to get over it. If you really can't handle a world without the Joker then cut his hands off and put his eyes out. There. Everybody happy now?
The Riddler
I've always liked the idea of the Riddler, but I've rarely liked what's done with him. He's another one of those too-smart-for-his-own-good villains who obsesses way too much over the title character. What happens if he proves himself smarter than Batman? Then what? Is there an end game? Does he go the Moffet Moriarty route? I love crazed game designers as much as the next crazed game designer lover, but come on.
What to do with him:
Make him a crime fighter. If he's that smart, have him prove himself by fixing Gotham's problems without ever harming someone. Do what Batman never could, which is make Gotham BETTER.
Catwoman
Here's one of those villains who's not always a villain but who can't be relied on but who shows up when needed and all that jazz. You know, like a cat. When Selena Kyle is used correctly she makes for a wonderful anti-hero, and she was the only thing to keep me from throwing my popcorn at the screen during The Dark Knight Rises. When she's used incorrectly she becomes an annoyance.
What to do with her:
How about, use her correctly? With Batsy out of the picture, Selena is in the best position to take up the mantle. She's got the skillset after all. But even better, she's not the kind of female Dark Knight (Duchess? Knightess? Valkyrie?) that Gotham is going to be able to lean on for very long. As such, now is the time to slowly detox the city off of the reliance on capes to fix crime. Sure, she's a kleptomaniac, but you can probably just let her have her fun and then send the cops to her apartment a few days later to ask for the necklace back. Even Garfield once said, "It's not the having, it's the getting."
The Mad Hatter
I love Alice in Wonderland and I love Roddy McDowall, so naturally I honed in on the animated version of this character back in the nineties. But I have to admit, this character is kind of stupid. Jervis Tetch creates devices to control the minds of others, because plot. And in certain incarnations he stalks any woman he thinks is Alice, because he apparently he only watched the Tim Burton version. This guy needs a full makeover.
What to do with him:
Revision. Keep the elements that work. He was the underdog growing up. Got bullied. Tended to retreat in a fantasy world. The typical sci-fi/fantasy nerd story. He becomes fascinated by the workings of the human brain and makes several medical breakthroughs in the field of psychiatry. But one really bad day he gets pushed over the edge Carrie-style, and goes on a revenge spree controlled Carrie-style. He knows he's going to go to jail, which terrifies him, unless he can get the insanity plea (this is Gotham). Tetch makes it back to his lab and screws around with his own brain, voluntarily becoming insane, resulting in the experience of a newfound freedom.
The run-ins with Batman that follow are based around the fact that sanity starts creeping back in, and he'd rather stay whimsical and carefree than deal with the life he had before. But what if his work with neuroscience hides the cure for the more extreme cases inside Arkham? If he could handle his sensibilities, he could fix the inmates. Now what you need is a kindred spirit like Harley to be his Alice, not a love interest but a human connection. And from there the story of Gotham isn't this perpetually cynical drudge through self absorption, but one of hope; that there's actually a way back from the darkness.
I realize that doesn't exactly keep the series going indefinitely, but isn't about time the story moves forward? A little? There's still room for Terry McGinnis.
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