Where I get a little tetchy is when the money seems to be the first reason for the remake. We don't need another freaking Ben-Hur, Poltergeist was fine the way it was, and dear God, leave The Goonies alone! There needs to be a nonfinancial reason behind the remake. And audiences aren't (completely) stupid, we know the difference.
Maybe a director/producer sees a missed potential in the original and decides they can correct certain errors. Maybe it's a love letter to a franchise where a superfan feels the old bird still has some real life in it. Or maybe it's a retelling of a familiar story from another character's perspective. These are three of many legitimate reasons to remake a film. They're not hard to come up with.
I don't know what goes on in the heads of people who greenlight things, but when it comes to a remake I find it fairly easy to determine when they clearly didn't know what they were doing. I heard The Rocky Horror Picture Show was getting a remake after my very thorough review last October, and I daresay I was intrigued. Putting it in the hands of Kenny Ortega (the guy who gave us the High School Musical series) seemed like a wise idea. Any appearance by Tim Curry is always welcomed. Most of all, having intensely scrutinized the original film, I began to sense that there really was something interesting happening in the story that never got fully realized. I was really looking forward to seeing the new version. I wanted to like it. But in the end, the best thing I can say is that I can fully review the film in fewer words than there are in the title.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let's Do the Time Warp Again
Review: What the f**k did I just sit through?
How about that? Even had two words to spare. Welp, guess the blog's over then. I suppose if I had a shred of human decency I'd file this one and go do something productive, like pick a fight with a Trump supporter. But...you know.
So let's have a look at the film. We actually start off on a hopeful note with the screen debut of Trixie (Ivy Levan) the Usherette; an indicator that Ortega has in fact seen the stage version. Trixie presents the opening number at an actual movie theater of yesteryear, with people lining up around the block the way they used to. The iconic Lips are only alluded to at the end of the song, instead offering us a passionate journey past the concession stand and into the theater.
And here we have an inspired choice. We're watching a movie within a movie. As a celebration of the unprecedented history of the original film, we're witnessing a movie theater audience going to see the Rocky Horror film on the screen. Now I want you to take that idea and file it away for a moment, because I'm going to come back to it. Then we move into the first real plot scene, which includes the Dammit Janet song.
Right out of the gate we're seeing the energy of the movie that could have been, and the cracks that will shortly undo it. Victoria Justice is a credible Janet Weiss. She occasionally has to act certain moments that simply don't work, but you can tell she's doing everything in her power to not look like a dumbass and this first scene isn't working against her. Ryan McCartan is adequate as Brad Majors. His actor's moments hit and miss about equally. But the production number is truly delightful. Ortega moves the action to where it's clearly in the cemetery. Brad and Janet are backed up by the peppiest funeral procession since Live and Let Die. It's beaten over the audience's head that this relationship is doomed.
Here's the problem. This whole scene comes across with the timing of a parody. That wouldn't be an issue if the rest of the movie were to match it, or blend in with it. As it turns out the entire rest of the film doesn't play well with this one scene. That was also a problem with the original, although it was less pronounced back then. And here's the bigger problem. This version isn't learning from the mistakes of the original, it's taking the same mistakes and making them bigger.
In the middle of "Over at the Frankenstein Place", the movie loses it's steam. I wanted to root for Reeve Carney's Riff-Raff, and he's far from the weakest link, but he just doesn't have the power in his performance. I will say, later on he has a moment during "The Sword of Damocles" where you almost sense that he wanted Rocky to view him as his creator, but said moment goes absolutely nowhere. It's a pity, because that by itself could have justified the remake. As it stands, Carney is going to be remembered for the lukewarm "Time Warp".
In regards to the rest of the supporting cast, only Ben Vereen's Dr. Scott left any real impression on me. I still don't understand what his character is meant to accomplish, but Vereen at least makes it feel like Dr. Scott matters. Rocky is pretty. Magenta is happy. Columbia is Cyndi Lauper. And then there's Adam Lambert as Eddie, who's better than I expected but still only comes off as Meat Loaf's understudy.
One quick thing about that scene. Having Eddie come through the window as opposed to emerging from the deep freeze raises some back story questions that the film is unprepared to answer. Did Frank turn him loose? Why did Eddie come back? Oh, and here's a fundamental rubric we could gloss over in the original but it's staring us in the face now: Who the f**k is this guy? Ortega, you're pushing away this 'teenage audience' you claim to be reaching for.
Okay, it's time to address the hierophant in the room, and it really is my intention to do it as kindly as possible. Laverne Cox simply isn't Frank-N-Furter. To be fair, NOBODY is going to step into Tim Curry's heels and strut away unblemished, but Cox either doesn't understand the character or doesn't know how to use her abilities to convince the audience that she does.
Tim Curry's Frank is the incarnation of diva narcissism. It's possible his performance may have skewed the end result, but you have to give him the credit he deserved. About sixty percent of the original film's ensemble were actors strong enough to have carried the film themselves. Then Curry comes along and dominates every single shot he's in. From that group. Cox, on the other hand, is playing opposite a significantly lower tiered cast and she always seems to be a step behind. Your eyes don't seek her out. She doesn't chew the scenery. Half of the time you can almost hear Ortega's stage directions in her movements. The original felt more like Jim Sharman was obeying Tim Curry's instructions (excuse me, instruction. "And, camera on me").
Hell! The best thing I took from the remake is a greater appreciation for Curry's performance. Consider that he played the role on the stage for God knows how long. Then he plays the role on the screen. Pause there, and let's look at the film of the stage show remake of The Producers. Nathan Lane correctly adapted his stage performance of Max Bialystock for the film, fully understanding the difference in medium. Matthew Broderick (who freaking knew better) played his stage version of Leo Bloom for the film, and wound up sucking. Now back to Tim Curry. His film Frank is a series of facial tics, asides, pauses, smirks, and other stuff that would never show up in a stage production. In other words, he didn't adapt his theater Frank for the film; he built a whole new Frank from scratch for the screen. That's pretty damn awesome.
So let's go back to the audience of the film in the film. We cut to them every so often for one of the famous call backs to the action on the screen; "Great Scott!", "Two out of three ain't bad!", and a meatloaf joke that actually sneaks into script proper. Then there's a moment at the end of "I'm Going Home" when Frank nearly sees the audience that's watching her from the other side of the screen before spotting the empty theater seats, save for Riff-Raff and Magenta. It's a throw-it-in beat that amounts to nothing. It summarizes why the remake fails.
The weakest link of this film is Kenny Ortega. He had a chance to do something special, certainly not as inescapably iconic as the original film, but something worthy of supplementing the source material. He didn't deliver. By putting an audience in the theater in the movie where there is audience participation, there HAD to be a moment where the characters on the screen came out into the audience and engaged them directly. I picked up on that in the opening number, and I kept waiting for that moment and it never happened. Seriously? After all the dumb shit you had Zac Efron do in High School Musical 2 and THIS is where you reel it in?
The original film was a buffet of ideas that never really came together, but it had certain elements that REALLY worked. That's why this oddity in film history hasn't left the theater since 1975. The remake had 41 years to figure out which elements didn't work and which ones did, and how to make everything function as a central vision. But instead of giving us that, Ortega and company limited their 'tribute' to the rigidity of the original script and gave us a community theater production of the story we've already seen many, many times. That would be appropriate for a community theater. But this is a film remake with a $20 million budget. We can and should expect better, and we know Ortega can and should meet those expectations. But he didn't.
So let's have a look at the film. We actually start off on a hopeful note with the screen debut of Trixie (Ivy Levan) the Usherette; an indicator that Ortega has in fact seen the stage version. Trixie presents the opening number at an actual movie theater of yesteryear, with people lining up around the block the way they used to. The iconic Lips are only alluded to at the end of the song, instead offering us a passionate journey past the concession stand and into the theater.
And here we have an inspired choice. We're watching a movie within a movie. As a celebration of the unprecedented history of the original film, we're witnessing a movie theater audience going to see the Rocky Horror film on the screen. Now I want you to take that idea and file it away for a moment, because I'm going to come back to it. Then we move into the first real plot scene, which includes the Dammit Janet song.
Right out of the gate we're seeing the energy of the movie that could have been, and the cracks that will shortly undo it. Victoria Justice is a credible Janet Weiss. She occasionally has to act certain moments that simply don't work, but you can tell she's doing everything in her power to not look like a dumbass and this first scene isn't working against her. Ryan McCartan is adequate as Brad Majors. His actor's moments hit and miss about equally. But the production number is truly delightful. Ortega moves the action to where it's clearly in the cemetery. Brad and Janet are backed up by the peppiest funeral procession since Live and Let Die. It's beaten over the audience's head that this relationship is doomed.
Here's the problem. This whole scene comes across with the timing of a parody. That wouldn't be an issue if the rest of the movie were to match it, or blend in with it. As it turns out the entire rest of the film doesn't play well with this one scene. That was also a problem with the original, although it was less pronounced back then. And here's the bigger problem. This version isn't learning from the mistakes of the original, it's taking the same mistakes and making them bigger.
In the middle of "Over at the Frankenstein Place", the movie loses it's steam. I wanted to root for Reeve Carney's Riff-Raff, and he's far from the weakest link, but he just doesn't have the power in his performance. I will say, later on he has a moment during "The Sword of Damocles" where you almost sense that he wanted Rocky to view him as his creator, but said moment goes absolutely nowhere. It's a pity, because that by itself could have justified the remake. As it stands, Carney is going to be remembered for the lukewarm "Time Warp".
In regards to the rest of the supporting cast, only Ben Vereen's Dr. Scott left any real impression on me. I still don't understand what his character is meant to accomplish, but Vereen at least makes it feel like Dr. Scott matters. Rocky is pretty. Magenta is happy. Columbia is Cyndi Lauper. And then there's Adam Lambert as Eddie, who's better than I expected but still only comes off as Meat Loaf's understudy.
One quick thing about that scene. Having Eddie come through the window as opposed to emerging from the deep freeze raises some back story questions that the film is unprepared to answer. Did Frank turn him loose? Why did Eddie come back? Oh, and here's a fundamental rubric we could gloss over in the original but it's staring us in the face now: Who the f**k is this guy? Ortega, you're pushing away this 'teenage audience' you claim to be reaching for.
Okay, it's time to address the hierophant in the room, and it really is my intention to do it as kindly as possible. Laverne Cox simply isn't Frank-N-Furter. To be fair, NOBODY is going to step into Tim Curry's heels and strut away unblemished, but Cox either doesn't understand the character or doesn't know how to use her abilities to convince the audience that she does.
Tim Curry's Frank is the incarnation of diva narcissism. It's possible his performance may have skewed the end result, but you have to give him the credit he deserved. About sixty percent of the original film's ensemble were actors strong enough to have carried the film themselves. Then Curry comes along and dominates every single shot he's in. From that group. Cox, on the other hand, is playing opposite a significantly lower tiered cast and she always seems to be a step behind. Your eyes don't seek her out. She doesn't chew the scenery. Half of the time you can almost hear Ortega's stage directions in her movements. The original felt more like Jim Sharman was obeying Tim Curry's instructions (excuse me, instruction. "And, camera on me").
Hell! The best thing I took from the remake is a greater appreciation for Curry's performance. Consider that he played the role on the stage for God knows how long. Then he plays the role on the screen. Pause there, and let's look at the film of the stage show remake of The Producers. Nathan Lane correctly adapted his stage performance of Max Bialystock for the film, fully understanding the difference in medium. Matthew Broderick (who freaking knew better) played his stage version of Leo Bloom for the film, and wound up sucking. Now back to Tim Curry. His film Frank is a series of facial tics, asides, pauses, smirks, and other stuff that would never show up in a stage production. In other words, he didn't adapt his theater Frank for the film; he built a whole new Frank from scratch for the screen. That's pretty damn awesome.
So let's go back to the audience of the film in the film. We cut to them every so often for one of the famous call backs to the action on the screen; "Great Scott!", "Two out of three ain't bad!", and a meatloaf joke that actually sneaks into script proper. Then there's a moment at the end of "I'm Going Home" when Frank nearly sees the audience that's watching her from the other side of the screen before spotting the empty theater seats, save for Riff-Raff and Magenta. It's a throw-it-in beat that amounts to nothing. It summarizes why the remake fails.
The weakest link of this film is Kenny Ortega. He had a chance to do something special, certainly not as inescapably iconic as the original film, but something worthy of supplementing the source material. He didn't deliver. By putting an audience in the theater in the movie where there is audience participation, there HAD to be a moment where the characters on the screen came out into the audience and engaged them directly. I picked up on that in the opening number, and I kept waiting for that moment and it never happened. Seriously? After all the dumb shit you had Zac Efron do in High School Musical 2 and THIS is where you reel it in?
The original film was a buffet of ideas that never really came together, but it had certain elements that REALLY worked. That's why this oddity in film history hasn't left the theater since 1975. The remake had 41 years to figure out which elements didn't work and which ones did, and how to make everything function as a central vision. But instead of giving us that, Ortega and company limited their 'tribute' to the rigidity of the original script and gave us a community theater production of the story we've already seen many, many times. That would be appropriate for a community theater. But this is a film remake with a $20 million budget. We can and should expect better, and we know Ortega can and should meet those expectations. But he didn't.
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