Thursday, September 14, 2017

Short Story Week 2017: Day Four -There's No Pleasing Some People

Man, yesterday's story got a much better response than I would have expected! Admittedly I don't know if people took to it positively or just tolerated it and then cried into a bottle of margarita mix, but I'm grateful for any attention my stories get.

I honestly thought last night that I'd burned myself out after two measly entries, but the muses were kind enough to give me something to work with today, so we'll see how it pans out. Conception to execution in a few hours! I'm sure things are going to be smooth sailing all the way!


There's No Pleasing Some People

Ellie had barely finished logging into the computer when a man roughly twice her size approached the customer service desk and dumped a stack of groceries on the counter.

"Do you work here?" he asked in what sounded more like a statement.

"I do," she replied, smile precisely where it needed to be and no acknowledgement of her name badge or uniform with the store logo on it. "How can I help you?"

The man glanced over his shoulder toward the registers. "You guys really need a better way to filter your employees!"

"Well I'm very sorry to hear you had an unpleasant experience. Do you mind telling me about it?"

"That's why I came over here!" the man snapped. "The woman you have working the self-checkout-"

"Louisa?"

"I didn't get her name."

"A little bit taller than me? Mid-fifties?"

He nodded. "Whoever staffs that area needs to have enough of a brain to be paying attention!"

"Yes sir, I agree with you completely." Ellie produced a notepad to write down the details of the encounter. "So do I understand that Louisa wasn't paying attention?"

"I was next!" he shouted.

Ellie wrote on the pad 'Gentleman was next'. "And did Louisa not honor your place in line?"

"She deliberately moved this woman with her screaming kids over to the open register!"

Ellie shook her sympathetic head. "She didn't."

"Yes! Some of us have places we have to be!"

"I'm very sorry this experience is keeping you from your destination."

"It's not my destination," he corrected, "I have to get to the bank on Marble Street before they close!"

"Well sir, would you like me to call the bank to see if they'll make an allowance for your setback?"

"No, I want this dealt with! Now!"

"Absolutely sir. I will pass this along to Louisa's supervisor immediately. And again, I'm very sorry for the inconvenience-"

"Is that it?" The man scowled. "Slap on the wrist? For wasting my time?"

"Well sir, I'd be happy to move the process along with expediency." Ellie picked up the phone receiver and pressed the intercom button. "Raphael. Code Nineteen. Again, Code Nineteen." She replaced the phone happily.

"What's a Code Nineteen?" the man demanded to know.

"It's one of our call signs. It essentially describes the experience you've just had. As you've correctly pointed out, our employee filter is sorely lacking. We've had many complaints about Louisa not paying enough attention over at the self-checkout. I'm very confident she'll be let go on the spot. That should eliminate the problem from ever happening again."

The man glared at Ellie, whose smile hadn't faded in the slightest. He pointed to the mess of groceries on the counter. "I don't think I should have to pay for those, as much time as this has taken."

"I quite agree with you, sir. I'll be happy to bag those up for you right now." Ellie proceeded to stack the items in plastic without another word.

The man waited until Ellie was almost done before showing her his watch "And just how am I supposed to get to the bank before it closes?"

"Well sir, I have some good news. The bank manager is a friend of mine, and she says that this week they're trying out a new policy to unofficially stay open ten minutes past the hour. If you leave right now you can still make it."

He have her a skeptical look. "Leave right now and be at the bank on Marble Street in eight minutes?"

"Yes sir. I can even help you further with that." Ellie's fingers danced across her keyboard and she tapped 'Enter' with assured satisfaction. "There you go sir. You're all clear."

"All clear for what?"

"I've just reported a hostage situation at the warehouse on Miller's Crossing. Every police officer in the area is being rerouted there now so you can drive as fast as you like."

For the first time in the encounter, the anger in the man's face seemed to drain, with confusion taking its place. "Are you insane?"

"No sir, we take customer service very seriously here."

"This is a joke right? You're mocking me."

Ellie reached under the counter for a comment card. "I apologize if I've come across as insincere. You're more than welcome to fill out one of-"

The man snatched the card out of her hand and threw it on the ground. "Get your manager out here!"

"Sir," Ellie lowered her voice as she leaned over the counter. "I'm afraid I can't call for a manager at this time. You see, it's my job to make sure every customer leaves our store happy. And seeing as how I've cost a beloved employee her position, broken store policy, and committed a federal crime to make you happy, and you're still not happy, then I have not done my job. And I will die before I let my manager know that I have failed."

The man paid her words no mind. "Get. Your. Manager. Right. Now."

Ellie nodded politely, taking a step backwards. "I'm very sorry you've had such a bad experience at our store. I'll see that it won't happen again." And with no warning, she took a small handgun out of the drawer and pointed it at her head.

A second later Ellie was on the floor behind the counter. The man stared at the dead air where she'd only just been. He glanced at the people in the store behind him. None of them glanced back. Apparently the sound of the shot had gone unnoticed by the noise level of shoppers and cash registers. He picked up his bagged groceries and hustled to the door.

A few seconds later, Raphael came through the door from the back room to the customer service desk. It was there he found Ellie on the phone. The second it seemed there was a lull on her side of the conversation he asked her what a Code Nineteen was.

"Oh, it's nothing," she told him, before returning to the voice on the other end. "That's correct, shoplifting, leaving the store as we speak...mm-hmm, in the next few minutes you'll probably find him going well over the speed limit on Marble Street."

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