Short Story Week 2017: Day Two -Love:Nothing

If I had any kind of ability to draw, I'd turn this into a graphic novel. But alas, my hand-eye coordination is limited to button pressing. Any takers?

So what I have instead is the opening cut scene of a video game that's never going to happen either. We're set in the Mario-verse, with the introduction of a much needed 'bully' princess (the proverbial Wapeach) representing the poison mushroom concept. The following action takes place as soon as the player presses 'start', and ends with the player assuming character control. 'New game'?

Love:Nothing

Morning at the Mushroom Kingdom. The stands around the royal tennis court are packed with Toads, Piantas, Bob-ombs, and every other creature that could make it to the exposition.

Princess Peach steps out of her castle, racquet in hand, onto the court to the cheers of her audience. She passes the Mario Brothers who are on the ground level, calling her name. She blows them a kiss and waves to the crowd, assuming her corner spot for the match. On the other side, Toadette skips out, wielding a racquet almost as big as she is, and is greeted with applause as she springs into a pirouette.

"Good luck!" Peach calls, and Toadette giggles. Peach serves. It's a close match. Toadette is fast, but Peach has more control over the ball. In the end, the princess emerges as the victor. Toadette has a moment where she clearly feels a little diappointed about the result, but the sight of Peach scurrying over to her with cries of "Nice game!" instantly cheer her up. Toadette hops into Peach's arms, who lifts her up like she was the actual winner, and they revel together in the mass enthusiasm of the audience.

The day goes on. Peach has a series of matches which she easily dominates. Yoshi's last ditch attempt to defend the winning point with a tongue catch only manages to catch Luigi's hat. Petey Piranha swings so wildly he spins twice before collapsing in dizziness. And all Waluigi can do is throw his racquet down and yell. It's just a game, but Peach is on a roll. Her friends are cheering, the crowd is in a frenzy, it feels nice.

"New challenger!" the announcer calls.

She steps out of the shadows. She's Peach's height, build, and template, her outfit's signature color is green. Her hair is silvery with tinges of purple. Nobody has seen her before; nothing odd about that as the Mushroom Kingdom's sporting events are always open participation. But the crown perfectly balanced on her head indicates she rules a kingdom; one that the stadium fans is unfamiliar with. This is confirmed when the announcer presents her name over the intercom. "Princess Pennyroyal."

The bleachers erupt with applause but she ignores them, focusing all of her attention on Peach. "Good luck!" Peach waves. Penny doesn't acknowledge the sentiment. Peach serves.

Immediately Penny gets under the ball and backhands it into a light volley. Peach dashes to the net and returns. Penny's already there, springing into the air with an overhand, sending the ball right at Peach's face. Peach ducks, and the ball bounces off the court and into the stands. Peach can't help but be impressed. "Good shot," she says. Penny doesn't respond. Love-Fifteen.

It's still Peach's serve. Penny repeats the same tactic, forcing Peach to the net. This time the Mushroom Princess is ready, planting her feet to absorb the impact. But Penny fakes her downswing sending the ball to the left corner, well out of reach. Peach can only watch it go. Love-Thirty.

Now Princess Pennyroyal is serving. Peach easily receives the ball, returning it to the back court to keep Penny moving. It's a bit of a back and forth, lapsing into the typical tennis rhythm. But then Penny disrupts it by gently tapping the ball, forcing Peach to dive for it. There's not enough time to for her to recover before Penny lobs the ball to Peach's back court. Peach looks up at her curiously. She's good, but the smirk on her face seems to indicate that something else is going on with her. Love-Forty.

The crowd has sensed it as well; they've gotten quieter. Dirty tactics aren't illegal, and they're not even frowned upon as the game is meant to be challenging. But it's also meant to be a game. Once in a while someone steps onto the court who makes the game something that it's not. And as Penny calls to Peach in a mock falsetto "This shot is all you!" it's apparent that this is about more than winning.

Peach changes her play-style, relying less on cues from Princess Pennyroyal and more on an intuition of where her opponent is trying to move her away from. The approach works, forcing Penny into a defensive strategy; something at which she's clearly less fluent. By controlling the ball to make odd arcs mid-lob Peach gets the upper hand. She sends it to the back court again, making Penny run away from the net to intercept it. This gives Peach enough time to prepare a special shot. Light envelops the ball, making it impossible to see. Its shadow appears near Penny who makes her best estimation of where the thing is going to land. She's wrong. Hearts flutter from the concrete and vanish. Fifteen-Forty. The crowd cheers. Penny is displeased.

It's Peach's serve now. Penny's cold demeanor has evaporated; this is no longer a match, it's a fight. Serve. Overhead. Return, Backhand. There is no sound except for the poor ball being pummeled. Back and forth it goes. Peach-Penny-Peach-Penny, inching towards the net. The ball changes sides ten times. Twelve. Sixteen. By the time it crosses into the twenties it's a new Mushroom Kingdom record. And then possibly by it's own volition, the ball makes a mad dash into the bleachers.

Nobody has any idea what just happened, and it takes a review of the instant replay on a slower speed to determine whose racquet touched the ball last before it flew out of bounds. It's Penny's. In a moment of blind luck, he missed her downswing, bouncing off the net and catching the ball on the way back up. Peach  is awarded the point. The crowd uproars. The score is Thirty-Forty.

Penny mouths a word to Peach with which she's unfamiliar, but it doesn't matter. It's still Peach's serve and if she can tie the score she can invoke the privilege of calling the match a draw. The Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom closes her eyes and draws in a deep breath, focused on a single thought: keep Penny away from the net. Peach takes a moment to glance at Mario, who smiles and gives her a thumbs up. She nods. She's got this.

Once the ball is in motion Penny tries to take control of the court, but Peach pushes her back. Two returns and a few steps closer to the net before Peach forces her to retreat again. One more attempt to rush the net is foiled by a quick recovery from Peach, ricocheting the ball off Penny's racquet at a conveniently high arc. Plenty of time for Peach to decide what she wants to do with the ball.

For Princess Pennyroyal this is the last straw. Her racquet begins glowing and her eyes cross-hair on Princess Peach. She hurls the racquet across the court into the net. The force of her heave draws it towards Peach like a bowstring.

SMASH. Peach falls backwards covering her face. Penny's racquet boomerangs back into her hand. The ball bounces on Peach's side of the court. Then out of bounds.

For a moment Peach can only stare at Penny from the ground. Then the tears begins welling up and she can't stop them. Penny smiles with satisfaction and strikes a mock version of Peach's signature pose. "Oh, did you lose?"

For the first time in the Mushroom Kingdom's history a crowd of spectators begins booing a competitor. Mario and Luigi surround Peach on both sides to help her back to her castle since she's crying too hard to see where she's going, while the crowd shouts for Penny's removal from the court.

Strangely, the angrier they are, the more Penny seems to enjoy it. "Thank you!" she yells, skipping around in a mock Peach imitation. Someone from the stands throws a crushed can at her, to which she responds with a melodramatic gasp. "Oh my, Mario! Save me!" A shower of rocks and dusty hammers pelt the area where she's standing, but none of them touch her; for the handful that nearly do she fends off with her racquet, continuing to feed off the crowd's displeasure.

Satisfied with how much unhappiness she's spread, Penny takes a graceful bow and a final wave. But she's been so pleased with her own grandstanding that she fails to hear the sound of a tennis ball being struck, with a combination of brute force and pinpoint precision. She only becomes aware of it when it impacts the crown on her head, sending it flying out of sight.

Silence falls over the crowd. As furious as they are with Penny, there's an unsung sanctity of lineage regarding royalty. You don't touch the crown. For a moment Pennyroyal can only respond by feeling around on the top of her head for the adornment that is no longer there. She turns to give a death glare to the culprit who has just stepped into the spot on the court vacated by Peach.

Even the announcer forgets to do his job. But there's no need. The new challenger is capable of introducing herself.

"Hi," she says, "I'm Daisy."