Oh yeah, the more savvy of you might catch the theme of the character names I'm using here.
The Laugh Liberation Front
The video opens in a
restaurant. Several people are pleasantly enjoying their meals and speaking
indiscreetly to each other when three guys in outlandish clothing burst into
the room.
Bob: (the unofficial leader of the LFF who speaks as if he's a
heavy metal singer addressing a mosh pit). Are you ready to laugh?
Nobody in the restaurant
is able to respond.
Bob: Knock knock! (there is a silent pause from the room) Can I get
a 'Who's there"? (still no response) I can't hear you!
Man at the table: (awkwardly) We didn't say anything.
Bob: I can't hear you!
Man: (louder) We didn't say anything!
Bob ignores the man and
turns to Chuck and Friz as if he's cuing up the opening song.
Bob: One! Two! Three!
The three of them begin
running around the restaurant scatting Yakity Sax. The patrons continue their
stunned silence.
Cut to the news studio
with a closeup on the newscaster.
Mel: Good evening. I'm Mel Schaffer and this is Datebreak. Our top
story is the Laugh Liberation Front, to give you an idea of what kind of news
day it's been. Are they a public service or a public nuisance?
Friz: (from off camera) Hi out there.
Mel: (to Friz) Not yet. (returning to the camera) Here to share and
insider's view-
Friz: Timing is everything.
Mel: (stopping him) Be quiet. Here to share an insider's view on
this organization is Friz Sergei, co-founder of the LLF. Welcome.
Camera reveals Friz in
the studio. He is wearing a clown wig and accessories. He responds by holding
his hands up to the sides of his head like antlers and making a face.
Mel: (noticeably irritated) And also joining us is
Chuck (he checks the back of the page he's reading for the last name)
Chuck: One name.
Mel: Onename? (Chuck audibly indicates correctness). I'd like to pose
my first question to you Mr. Onename. (camera reveals Chuck to be dressed in
regular clothing)
Friz: Talk to me first.
Mel: No.
Chuck: It's one name.
Mel: That's what I said, Mr. Onename.
Friz: I'm closer.
Mel: Be quiet.
Chuck: No, it's Chuck.
Mel: (trying to understand) Chuck.
Chuck: One name.
Mel: Yes. Chuck Onename.
Chuck: No!
Friz: I'd like to chuck one name.
Chuck: Just call me Chuck. It's a single name like...(he tries to
think of something but Friz jumps in.)
Friz: Stanley
Chuck: Like Stanley
Mel: Okay I've got it now.
Friz: Actually Stan Lee is two names.
Mel: My first question is to you Chuck.
Friz: Stanley
Mel: Stanley
Chuck: Chuck!
Mel: Sorry. Chuck.
Friz: Onename.
Chuck: Friz!
Mel: Chuck.
Friz: Mel.
Mel pulls Friz's wig off
and tosses it to the side forcing him to temporarily leave the set.
Mel: My first question is to you...(he pauses at a loss for the
name now and just ignores it all together.) How did you get involved with the
Laugh Liberation Front?
Chuck: A few years ago Bob and I were in line at the airport and we
noticed all those signs about 'We take airport security seriously' and 'Bomb
threats are not a joke to us' and it just went on and on like terrorists are
going to be discouraged from blowing up a plane because airline won't find it
funny and we got to thinking about how humorless the world has become. So we
took a long look at what people need right now and that's to be reminded how to
laugh.
Mel: So you founded the Laugh Liberation Front.
Chuck: On the nose!
Action cuts to a funeral
service where a reverend has just begun the eulogy.
Reverend: There is so much we have yet to understand about why
tragedy never befalls those who deserve it. Is this life merely a test of
patience?
Bob: (entering with Chuck and Friz) Hey who died and made you sad?
Let's get ready to have some fun!
Reverend: Not again.
Bob: Hey Chuck!
Chuck: Yes Bob!
Bob: Do you know why fish swim in salt water?
Chuck: Yes I do.
Bob looks accusingly at
Chuck for botching the joke. Friz runs amok waving a rubber chicken.
Friz: Hey you want to see an impression?
Reverend: No!
Back in the studio with
Friz responding to an implied question.
Friz: I focus on physical comedy.
Mel: For example?
Friz: Pies in the face. Squirt guns. The two by four plank on the
shoulder is my favorite bit.
Mel: And you do this spontaneously?
Friz: Oh yeah. One time I took down a whole stairwell of college
kids.
Mel: Was anyone hurt?
Friz: Yeah, you should have been there.
Cut to a bank scene where
the three of them run in with toy guns with the 'Bang' flags.
Bob: Nobody get down on the ground! This isn't a hold up! Everyone
keep doing what you're doing but laugh! (nobody moves) I said laugh damn it!
Chuck: Nobody's laughing.
Friz does an elaborate
pratfall to dead silence.
Chuck: Maybe we should tickle someone.
They proceed to assault a
bystander. Cut to different location shots of various people being interviewed
who have encountered the LLF.
Information booth attendant: I'm trying to give this guy directions
and these idiots come out of nowhere wanting to know how to get to Carnegie
Hall. I lost three customers today!
Reporter: Isn't this a free service?
Information booth attendant: (casually sliding a handwritten sign
with the information price on it out of sight) Uh...yeah.
Business-type: I'm sure it's all in good fun but as an elected
member of the town council, I look forward to the day when we no longer need
such ridiculous organizations.
Interviewer: You feel we need the LLF at this time?
Business-type: What's the LLF?
Interviewer: The Laugh Liberation Front.
Business-type: Oh, I'm sorry. No, to hell with them.
Interviewer: What did you think we were talking about?
Business-type: The town council.
Angry woman: This guy said 'do you want to smell this flower' and
then drenched me before I could get away! And not like a single spray! He had
it hooked up to a pressure hose or something, I mean look at my shirt!
Interviewer: Okay.
The interviewer stares at
her chest. In the studio, Friz has taken over the spotlight.
Friz: The community needs us. We do the things that other people
want to do but are too afraid of being judged.
Chuck: Or arrested.
Friz: Or arrested. People need to laugh. It's a biological
necessity. Laughter is what separates us from cacti.
Chuck: And you want to be separated from cacti.
Friz: That wasn't my fault by the way.
Mel: So your philosophy is laughter is the best medicine?
Friz: Yes, sometimes medicine has to be forced down a patient's
throat.
Museum shot where Bob's
voice can be heard over the intercom.
Bob: My name is Zor. I'm your new museum curator. In accordance of
the rules of the exhibitions everyone has to be naked starting now.
Back in the studio.
Chuck: It started off with an idea that two people had and then it
became this huge entity all its own. We picked up Friz here.
Mel: And then?
Chuck: (after a pause) And then what?
Mel: That's my question.
Chuck: You're really weird you know that?
Mel: It became this huge entity because you picked up Friz and
then...what?
Chuck and Friz exchange a
glance.
Friz: You just don't get it do you?
Outdoor scene with a law
enforcement official speaking into a walkie talkie. He is evidently on a
stakeout.
Official: Unit two report in. Suspect is leaving the nightclub.
Unit five do we have visual confirmation that the suspect has the parcel. Copy
that unit five. All units hold position. Prepare to move in on my command.
Bob, Friz and Chuck run
past the official singing "It's the rapture step in time" as loudly
as possible. The official is bewildered.
Official: I'm sorry, what are we doing again?
Voice on the radio: Nevermind, the suspect got away.
In studio.
Chuck: I'm a huge fan of British comedy so I like to focus my
talents on subtle wit. Of course that kind of humor is a little difficult for
most people to grasp but I think of myself as an artist who's work has to exist
for its own sake.
Mel: Does that mean you're not funny?
Chuck: It means I don't go for the easy laugh.
Mel: So people don't laugh.
Chuck: They don't laugh because they don't get it, not because it
isn't funny.
Mel: Give me an example,
Chuck: Okay, just yesterday I went into a fast food place and I
ordered a value meal. And I said 'can you make that drink a large?'
A tedious pause.
Mel: You're right. I don't get it.
Chuck: See, on the value meals the drink is already a large.
Mel: So it's funny because you're asking for something that
you're...
Chuck: Going to get anyway. Yes. And of course the cashier didn't
get it, but that's why it's wit.
Friz: (off camera) Are you getting this. I'm doing some really
funny stuff over here.
Chuck: Just ignore him, he has a social disorder.
A crash is heard.
Mel: What was that?
Friz: Did you see that?
Cut to a doctor's office
where the trio enter wearing doctor's robes.
Bob: Okay, we've got your prescription.
Patient: Who are you?
Chuck: Your regular doctor what's-his-name had some kind of
non-medical emergency.
Bob: But we've got you taken care of.
Patient: I haven't even been examined.
Bob: Okay. (all three look at the patient for a few seconds. Bob
hands the patient a prescription page) Do this twice a day.
Patient: (reading) "How do you keep an idiot in
suspense?" (patient flips the page over establishing that there's nothing
written on the other side. The trio begin yahooing around the room as a
security guard enters)
Guard: You guys are going to have to come with me.
Friz: Haven't you heard laughter is the best medicine?
Guard: Tell it to the psychiatric ward.
Patient: Aren't you supposed to have that on the other side as
well?
Back to the studio.
Mel: So you feel you're providing a service even though the city is
proposing a stricter ordinance against disturbing of the peace?
Chuck: They're talking about car horns and stuff. People love us.
Mel: The LLF is mentioned by name in the proposal.
Chuck: LLF stands for just about anything.
Friz: It could be a typo.
Chuck: Yeah, a typo.
Mel: I just find it hard to believe people love you when three
businesses have filed restraining orders against you guys; (thumbs through his
pages) an auto mechanic, a bridal shop and a comedy club for crying out loud. I
mean people go there to laugh.
Chuck: And you can't buy better publicity than that. I mean we're
about to go national.
Mel: Meaning?
Friz: We're about to leave.
Mel: Good. I was afraid you were recruiting.
Cut to a politician
speaking at a podium.
Politician: My fellow citizens.
A voice screams
"Look out! He's got a pie!" The security force protects the
politician as one of them takes the pie to the face. Camera pans over to see
Bob being detained. Back to the studio.
Mel: Okay. Make me laugh.
Friz: A joke has to be unexpected.
Mel: If I hear a joke from you guys it will be unexpected.
Chuck: You know what? Some people have no sense of humor.
Friz: Let's get out of here. (they leave the stage)
Mel: Up next on Datebreak: Common household items that children are
prone to swallowing and how you can replace them. After this. (to offscreen director)
Are we replacing the items or the children?
Chuck and Friz: (running back on with all of their funny objects
assaulting Mel) Laugh! Damn you! Laugh! Ah that was a smile!
Mel: It was a grimace!
End of broadcast
No comments:
Post a Comment